shannonsolomon

I would really love both of my bathrooms done, but there's not enough beer in the world for me to try and attempt it myself!

I wonder how much that one day per week of daycare will cost?

Jeez, back in the old timey days they didn't even do ultrasound, sonagrams, whatever unless they had a good reason. Now you can get 8X10 portraits?!

I can't believe that in the Year of Our Lord 2010 that cops are STILL allowed to be alone with anybody in their custody. I'm not even alone with my gynecologist unless I'm fully clothed. There should be surveillance cameras everywhere in a police station. What's to stop me from pulling a nose hair to produce some tears and claim the big mean cop tried to rape me?

I don't really have anyone that I wish to truly harm, but I would love a voodoo doll that causes uncontrollable, smelly, noisy flatulence!

Why the hell can't men have periods?

"Zebra Watch 2010"! Poor baby.

Zebra from circus on loose in downtown Atlanta The Atlanta Journal-Constitution A zebra from the Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Circus is on the loose in downtown Atlanta, according to several eye-witness reports. The zebra has been spotted all over town -- in the parking lot near the Sam Nunn Federal Building, near Centennial Olympic Park and on the Downtown Connector.Police are in pursuit. Don't worry, he's in police custody now!

Edna Mae. It was good enough for my Grandmother!

Honey, When I was pregnant and my husband was "helping" with the name, I just smiled politely and then when I made a decision, I told him what the baby's name was!

Sounds AWESOME!!!

Well hell. I hope you're retired and you just get to hang and do whatever the hell you want to all day long. Am I close?

Do you LIVE down there? so unfair....

Sarah, have you ever been in a Turkish prison?

Do you live near a beach? I'll bring the margaritas! Hell, I'll bring some child support!

Oh......Crap.....

Well sir, then I would say that YOU owe me some child support. And a margarita! with a little umbrella!

Why, it would come from the taxpayers. You know, the money saved from the the firemen and policemen and EMTs, etc....

Nope, sorry.

I would like to propose an automatic salary of no less than $25,000 enacted for women with children who are abandoned by the father of said children. "Abandoned" meaning "not living with the children".

Driving isn't hard. If you are in the far left lane and people are piled up behind you flashing their lights and honking their horns and passing you on the right then you should immediately move into the next right lane. If you refuse to do this or you reach the far right lane and the behaviour continous then you are either A. An asshat or B. Too senile to be driving. Please pull over and surrender your license immediately.

Bickford and Shirley

I got a baby for Valentine's Day! I went into labor at 5:30am and she was born at 8:34am. We just celebrated her 19th birthday with tacos and chocolate cake!

The Tooth Fairy at Mimi and Pawpaw's was always WAY more generous than she was at my house. Man, she really messed things up for me sometimes.

heeheehee.....