From what I read in her post the problem seems to be that the 3 year is causing most of the problems. If one child has something and the 3 year comes to take it away and then hits the other it would not be fair or right to take whatever it was the 3 year wanted and put it in time out. The item should by all rights go back to the child who had it before the 3 year started taking it away. Sounds like the 3 year old needs to be worked with and if anything goes to time out it is the child who takes something that they had no right to.