conehead

Is this a trick question?

You have other things to do? Don't you think we do too? (Why did you use a period?)

And where is this woman who has a baby every 8 seconds? Why can't we stop her?

Where are the monitors? Where is Pubby on this? Is this what we invented computers for?

What is this? What am I doing here?

One of my favorites, too. Going through the house singing WE Love de SUBBBS! de quisnos SUBBBS! Doing that for a few minutes would make Mother Theresa cuss.

Amen. That's a selling point.

I agree that the pothole commercial is the best one right now. I know I should be offended by being stereotyped with this stupid trailer trash tart, but I still Google it and play it over and over. The South shall rise again!! Even as a pothole....

The plastic Burger King guy.

I disagree. The carbonation would help to, uh, relieve pressure. I would eat swiftly enough to get the densest stuff in first. Forget the chips and such until later - They will swell up. After eating the dense stuff (Burger pattie, bacon), in about 30 minutes, then I would go for the less dense stuff (Veggies, then chips, then bun) over a period of the next hour and a half. No more liquid than necessary, and carbonated at that. It would be boring video. I would use every minute wisely. Then I would win. Then I would go outside and die. Wearing my T-Shirt.

Snaggle Tooth, speaking for the family, is asking that pies be sent instead of flowers.

Don't people ever just kiss anymore?

I recall an episode of Little House on the Praire when whassername the General Store owner's wife said: "What, you're pregnant again? Well. Laura, aren't you just the little Brood Mare"!

Your broom would be the Thunderbolt 2000. Quiddich season is about to begin at Hogwarts. Send an Owl to Harry Potter and see if he has lost his broom again.

Nukulur. Febuarey.

I don't guess they come in men's sizes, do they?

It just breaks your heart seeing all those boneless chickens flopping around in the yard....

One more: "You know, at one time there must've been dozens of companies making buggy whips. And I'll bet the last company around was the one that made the best g*dd**n buggy whip you ever saw. Now how would you have liked to have been a stockholder in that company? You invested in a business and this business is dead. Let's have the intelligence, let's have the decency to sign the death certificate, collect the insurance, and invest in something with a future."

A trifecta: 1. "You, sir, are no gentleman". "And you, miss, are no lady". 2. "Will you please hand me my clothes?" "Come and get them". "You, sir, are obviously no gentleman". "And you, miss, are obviously no gentleman, either". 3. "You, sir, are obviously no gentleman". "Only by an act of Congress, madam".

Keerect! 1. "Wave good-bye to your buddies, Mayonnaise! Oh, I forgot. You don't have any buddies, do you? Only customers! " 2. "Goodbye mama, now you can have ice cream in heaven! I'll see you again tonight when I go to bed in my head movies. But this head movie makes my eyes rain" 3. "I'm ready for my close up, Mr. Demille".

When Harry Met Sally "We're gonna need a bigger boat".

I bow to your incredible wisdom. I kiss your feet. Hey! Is that horse manure on your heel?

From the same movie: "Couldn't resist, mate". "I didn't deserve that". (Shortly after) "I probably deserved that one".

Here's one I don't know the answer to: In what 1940's movie did the hero say, "Shoot low, boys - they're riding Shetland Ponies"? Google will be of no help.

Ruthless People.