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dirttrackbabe

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Posts posted by dirttrackbabe

    i need advice

    in Internet Cafe

    Posted

    After reading additional posts I have a question and a suggestion. My question is WHY do you have to have dealings with her? If you are the one picking the child up or dropping the child off after visitation then why are YOU the one doing it. It's HIS child, let him be the one to do that. Or let the mom be the one to do that.

     

    As you might imagine from my name, Mama Carol, that was the name my stepdaughters gave me when I married their dad. We never had an issue about me and ex not getting along. For one, we did get along but secondly, I was not the one who did pick up or delivery of the kids for visitation weekend. I did once but that was all. I had no part in their divorce and refused to be treated by anyone as though I was the bad guy.

     

    My suggestion is that if you are picking up or delivering the child for visitation to stop doing it. Let the biological PARENTS of the child work it out among themselves. And then just trust in your husband's love and trust for you to not be swayed by what this person says about you. Hold your head high, don't stoop to her level and then the child will see that what he/she hears about you is wrong as well. And again, quit trying to make "everyone" happy, because it can't be done. You're the only one YOU need to make happy.

     

    Again, good luck with this. It's a tough situation to be in, but acting like you should be on the Jerry Springer Show won't do anything to improve the image of you this person seems to be trying to give to people.

     

    i deal with her because im the one he is with 90% of the time....i take him to daycare and pick him up all because his father works he gets to work at 5:30 am and works sometimes till 10:00 pm...when i take him to daycare i dont have to see her the court set it up so he is picked up by her on monday after 9 am and she drops him of the next monday by 9 am and i pick him up that afternoon so i dont have to see her and neither does he.. i do trust his love and i know he dosnt believe her..i will never stoop to her level that is why i am the nice one. the only reason this is really bothering me is because she told me she would rather talk to me then turns around and lies to the his parents about me :wacko: :unsure: , and then didnt have to descency(i think thats how its spelled) to call me and ask waht was said.

    i need advice

    in Internet Cafe

    Posted

    Ok, this is classic baby mamma drama. If your boyfriend/husband isn't going to stand up for you and end this drama then he isn't worth the hassle.

     

    My boyfriend has baby mamma drama too but it doesn't involve me as I had nothing to do with the child being born or them breaking up. I have no reason to speak to her or see her so I don't. Plus, she lives out of the state.

     

    If you have no reason to see her or speak to her then don't. If she is telling your bf/husband things that aren't true then it's up to him to trust that they aren't true.

     

    If that doesn't work, stand up to that Bit@h and tell her to eff off!

    he does stand up for me but his parents are so fed up with her she calls them and runs her mouth not just about me but him and his brothers....i wish she lived out of state.....he dosnt believe anything she says but it starts to get old after a few phone calls

    i need advice

    in Internet Cafe

    Posted

    Avoid her as much as you can. When you can't avoid her, don't approach her to talk. If she approaches you, tell her in a calm manner and a soft but firm voice, "since we can't get along, it is best we don't try" and walk away. And quit worrying about making "everyone" happy. You are the one that matters. Stand up for yourself. She is obviously a toxic person and you need to minimize your exposure to her. Treat her as though she was a toxic chemical and when ONLY absolutely, positively necessary have the least possible to do with her. As Dear Abby has always said, people only treat you the way you allow them to treat you.

     

    Good luck. I know for first-hand experience this is not an easy situation to be in.

     

    thanks....no it sure isnt...sorry you had to deal with this to

    i need advice

    in Internet Cafe

    Posted

    Ok, that was funny. Most people can't do that. I can only offer that most of the people that she talks to already know she is lying when her lips begin to move, so I wouldn't worry about it too much.

    yeah that is true..if her mouth is open she is lying

    i need advice

    in Internet Cafe

    Posted

    Now that we have more information I can tell you what I did when my ex wife wouldnt leave me alone....I moved to California, that worked miracles.

    i wish we could just up and move but a child is involved

    i need advice

    in Internet Cafe

    Posted

    Well being an Ex- Yankee, and living here in Georgia since 1985 (feel like this is home!) I have to say that I would stand up for myself and tell her to go somewhere else with her trashy mouth.

     

    You can only be nice to people when they treat you with respect. If they don't you only speak to them when you absolutely have to, and in this case you might.

     

    Other then that, I would just ignore the woman since she sounds ignorant in the first place and only seeks attention by putting others down.

     

    Don't let her make you feel less of a person. You know who you are and what you are and that should make you hold your head high. If anyone wants to believe her stories, so be it. If they know you, they should know she is a liar. End of subject. :)

     

     

    thanks i appreciate what you just posted i makes me feel a lot better

    i need advice

    in Internet Cafe

    Posted

    Whoever cares the least wins, trust me on this one. By you caring what she says it just fuels her to do it more. She apparently has a resentment toward you in some way. Sounds like there is much more to the story, its hard to help in general terms. Most of the advice you have gotten so far has been quite good.

    yeah the adive ya'll are giving is great but wont work in my case but please keep posting i could use all the help i can get

    i need advice

    in Internet Cafe

    Posted

    If they are divorced, I think there should only be discussions about the issues related to the child and that should be done with the mother of the child and the daddy. You would be wise to stay away from even talking to her.

    they cant talk to each other beacuse of this exact reason..she calls me and says hes cheating on me with her and then tells him im cheating on him....she dosnt want him back she just dosent eant him happy

     

    they were never married they never even dated

    i need advice

    in Internet Cafe

    Posted

    But you can't change her behaviour, you can only control your reaction to it.

    I knew it was something...she's jealous. A woman scorned....

     

    but they were never anything and she knew that i didnt take him from her he wanted to be with me

    i need advice

    in Internet Cafe

    Posted

    Ditto. I would still be nice though. If you aren't nice because she makes it to where you can't be, then she is manipulating you. Don't let her change who you are. That is what she wants. She is an A88, you aren't . She just wants to try to manipulate you into being like her. She may be jealous of something. Like the fact that she is an A88 and you're not .

    she's jealouse because im with the father or her child...they were never anything but she thinks they were.

    i need advice

    in Internet Cafe

    Posted

    Try not to be alone with the person. That way there is a witness so if anything else comes up you wont be alone in your position. If this isn’t possible, out side of prayer and getting away from that person, there isn’t much you can do.

    i really never see her but i do have to talk to her on the phone and thats all so thats why she can lie because there is no witness

     

    Quit "trying to be nice". Sometimes when one tries so hard to be nice, we are trying to be liked. Stand up for yourself and demand respect instead of seeking acceptance.

    the only problem is i have to be nice if i am not i get....well even when i am i still get yelled at

    i need advice

    in Internet Cafe

    Posted

    Try to avoid talking to her and only about whatever is at hand that has to be discussed. Don't make any small talk and if you do, make it as little as possible. She will move on to somebody else when she doesn't have anything to feed on.

     

    i do avoid talking to her and when i did have to she lied and said i cussed her out when i didnt..i know better becasue if i did then it would look bad on me

     

    see my problem now even when i dont do anything she still makes it seem like i did

    i need advice

    in Internet Cafe

    Posted

    i wouldnt associate with that person, especially if there gonna be two faced liers........id just avoid them all together and sooner or later they will realize that it was them all along....

     

     

    but like i said i have to have something to do with her ther is no getting away form her she is makeing my life a living H***

    i need advice

    in Internet Cafe

    Posted

    i just dont know what to do anymore i try to be nice to a certain person (not a pcommer) and then she turns around and tells a completely different story to everyone else so i look like the bad person.

     

    i cant just not have anything to do with her because i have to there isnt a choice. :( i am about at my wits end i cant take this stress and having to walk on eggshells to make everyone happy...

     

    what am i supposed to do am i doing something wrong

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