New house, new life, new ME?
Yep, I've cleaned my physical house so to speak and have gotten many things in order over the past year. It has certainly been a year of changes for me, but what of the non-physical--i.e. "spiritual" house? That, too, needs cleaning, and I feel it is time to tackle it.
Most of you know that I've been on this board for a little over two years. I'm sure that some of you were displeased with some of the changes you've noticed over the past year, especially in my behavior and attitudes toward some of you. I have been in a very dark place emotionally given all that has been transpiring in my personal life, and whether you be Christian or Pagan, you know that those are the times when the "dark side" will strike b/c you are susceptible for attack. Mind you, that coming under the influence of a dark force is not something that you ever really see coming or for which you can necessarily prepare yourself--regardless of how well you think you ARE prepared for such a time. Nevertheless, I embraced this new force. It provided an outlet for all of the anger and frustration I was feeling; it allowed me a freedom that I should not have taken, but I did take it. That is a key statement, BTW,: I took it--no one forced me or cajoled me, I did it of my own free will. It is important to understand that I do accept full responsibility for MY own actions, which is why I feel such remorse for them now.
I have already my apologies in person to some who needed them; however, there are countless others who came under my attacks without provocation and without any good reason to whom I've not yet apologized. To you, who do not know me in "real life," I do apologize, and you will simply have to take my word that I deeply regret my actions over the past year and with the utmost sincerity apologize for them. I suppose the lesson in all of this is that regardless of your age, you're never too old to "fall into the wrong crowd."
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