I realize this is a little long but I am looking for unbiased opinions her... Please be honest and give me your thoughts
To baby daddy-
Baby Mama has just started experiencing contractions late this morning and has began to dilate. Her doctor says she could deliver our daughter at anytime over the next day or so. We will be keeping the girls home this weekend so they are able to share in the birth of their baby sister. If delivery goes well and both baby mama & our daughter come home as planned, we would be happy to just trade weekends with you and you can have your time with the girls next weekend. Thanks,
Baby Mama and Step-Dad
To baby mama-
It is almost impossible for me to swap weekends right now. My employer makes arrangements for me to be off every other Friday since my mom can no longer pick the girls up and bring them to me. I have no had visitation with the girls in over a month since they were not allowed to participate their last scheduled weekend. I understand you wanting them there for the birth of their sister. I will be happy to bring them to the hospital to visit but I am unwilling to give up my weekend yet again. Baby Daddy
To baby daddy
Dad this is baby grandma, baby mama's mom. I understand that this is your weekend for visitation with child A and Child B. However, like step dad said in his email to you- baby mama is in labor and her doctor expects her to deliver at anytime. The girls will be staying with our family and y'all can work out make-up details later. The girls WILL be with their parents during the birth of their baby sister. This is a happy occasion for them all and it will stay that way. If you have follow up question/concerns you are welcome to call me but you will not bother baby mama and step dad during this time.
To baby mama It just seems ironic that when I ask for a special events weekend a week in advance or ask to swap weekends for some reason I am denied that but when you need it I am expected to bow down and give in to what ever it is you say. Bit that goes back to you being a control freak- whatever....
To baby mama
Since you have offered to trade weekends I would like to pick the girls up Saturday AM and return them on Monday since they do not have school. Please let me know. Thanks Dad
To baby mama
It has now been 48 hours since my original email about swapping and getting the girls this weekend. You are the one that decided they could not come the weekend of August 8- when you were supposedly having a baby and I even offered to bring them to the hospital should you have her, which by the way you didn't.
Now to get any kind of response on trying to swap that weekend as you offered has gone ignored. I have been denied by you for every "special events" weekend I have asked for, you have never allowed me to swap a weekend when it was needed, you have never been the least bit co-operative in anything when it comes to the girls being with me. I'm not sure why I even bother asking. I got exactly what I expected when I requested to have them this weekend NOTHING. Thanks baby daddy
To baby Daddy
I do apologize! I was unaware there was a time limit on replying to emails and have been a little busy. However, you do have my husband's contact information should you have wished for a faster response instead of sending nasty emails with time lapse updates. Step-Dad offered you the following weekend as a make-up weekend for August 8th, which was August 15th. We heard nothing of you on August 15th and you never showed. Same as you did this past weekend, and it was your weekend! The children were left sitting here waiting on you. We heard NOTHING from you until 6:37pm when you finally texted my husband. By that point we were already on our way to dinner. This weekend is a holiday weekend. You have never been denied a "special events" weekend when requested. I do believe you should actually execute your true weekends without drama (IE: not showing up at all, showing up without car seats & expecting if not to be an issue, bring them home after they haven't been properly taken care of all weekend, etc.) before you should EVEN feel like we should work with you. Baby Mama
To baby mama
First off I wasn't "nasty" I simply was trying to get an answer, YOU are the one that has started yet again throwing mud, second off, I do NOT feel that I should have deal with your husband for MY children anymore then you wish to deal with my mother for OUR children. I simply asked for a timely answer so that I could make arrangements. As for my regularly scheduled weekend- I did call during my 15 min window however no one would answer the phone as is the norm and even if you had of you would not have allowed me to pick them up even though things were out of my hand in getting there on time. As I have stated on numerous occasions I drive a truck for a living. You can never control when you will be sitting in traffic for 3 hours as I was on Friday. I have made every possible arrangement with my employer to be here and in town on my regular weekends. I can not ask him to guarantee me to be home every weekend. To have asked him to give me the following weekend guaranteed at home would have been impossible; hence me asking for this weekend. That is the life of a truck driver and you know this; you are just unwilling to work with me when something of this nature happens. As for requested "special events" weekends I will be glad to provide you with text and emails where you have denied those stating that you had to have a minimum of 2 weeks notice even though you have never yourself followed that rule. I will consider the birth of your new daughter your 2nd "special events" weekend for this year. Even though in the grand scheme of things doesn't really make a damn since when you don't want them to come over they will "be to sick to participate in visitation". Considering you have made them miss their own birthday party at stars and strikes, successfully kept them from me since before their birthday, I will consider this request as being denied as well. Have a great evening Baby Daddy
To baby Daddy
Not real sure why you don't feel you should be communicating with step dad at this point?!?! Your communication being with the girls DADDY is no where even remotely equal to you asking us to deal with a grandparent. Also, considering step dad is the ONLY person supporting the girls financially (since he considers it rather important I be home with the children full time)- I'd say he is the perfect one for communication regarding the girls to go through. When you begin to be the father he is to the girls, you can throw it up that they're YOURS. Until then, all I consider you to be is a sperm donor that we do wish for them to at least know so they can form their own opinion and don't have to take our word for your ways. I'm a little tired of you bashing my husband because they're not biologically his children. He entered their lives LONG before you did (BY YOUR CHOICE MIGHT I ADD) and has been a perfect parent to them since day one. He has loved them, provided for them, cared for them when they were sick, taught them right from wrong, etc. Until you can say the same (WHICH WILL BE NEVER- because you can't even seem to do the minimum required of you by our state) I believe he is the perfect one for you to communicate with regarding the girls because honestly I don't like putting up with your drama & sorry excuses all of the time. He is a retail manager and deals with people like you all of the time & is MUCH better at doing so. Special events weekends should be requested 2 weeks prior UNLESS something happens that is unavoidable such as a death! THE ONLY time we've requested a special events weekend that was not notified 2 weeks prior was the last weekend my grandfather was alive. The times you have requested have always been "week of" because of "out of town family coming in" which could EASILY be requested 2 weeks prior. And typically those requests come after weekends like this past weekend where you don't execute your time with them as you should and once again expect everything to be rearranged for you because you fell short and didn't do what you should. We offered to swap weekends with you when Mary Kate was born because you hadn't seen them in as long as you had instead of requesting a special events weekend. That weekend WILL NOT be considered a special events weekend as you were offered the weekend of August 15 as a make-up so they could visit with you, when you left them sitting on the sofa waiting again! A phone call would have been appreciated in that case as well. As far as the girls not being allowed to come if they're not feeling well, that will continue and is your own fault we choose to handle visitations as such. You're not responsible and do not properly take care of them when they're well- so I sure the hell won't be letting them go if they're even the slightest bit under the weather! Denver & I have to pay their doctor bills and we can't afford a doctors visit every time they come home from your house because you can't use good judgement and take care of them so they don't get worse. But you can go ahead and think what you want to. You can turn every little thing into my fault if you feel like it. I'm used to it by now and have come to accept that this is just how your mother raised you and people like you WILL NEVER TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THEIR OWN ACTIONS! No matter what you say to them. PS Not real sure who you called on 8/8 at 6:15 as you're claiming, but it wasn't my husband! (And you're blocked from calling me as you knew already). Next time at least a phone call would be lovely so the girls aren't left sitting on the sofa waiting! You've done that to them to many times to count and last weekend will be the last! My girls deserve MUCH better than that!
To baby daddy
I am not going to keep arguing baby-mama I simply asked if I could have the girls this week-end in place of the last week-end you took.
However- to address some of your accusations:
1. Step-Dad is not their Daddy he is their step-dad. Yes, he lives with them full time and he has taken care of them. I have not degraded him nor have I "bashed" him. I simply said that I should have communication with their mother not their step father.
2. I have financially supported my children since they were born; yes, I have arrears I know this. I have been forced to take a lessor paying job so that I can be home to get them every other week-end as scheduled since you are unwilling to work with me and let their grandmother pick them up and bring them to me. Even with that there are times when because of my job things happen and I don't get there by the 6:15 mark and when that happens in your eyes I just am neglecting to pick up my children and be a daddy to them. Not at all the case but you refuse to see anything else and there is not changing your opinion and I won't continue to try.
3. Considering I was there for the birth of my children and their step-dad wasn't I think I was there first. Had I of known that I could obtain visitation with my children without an attorney it would have been done much earlier then it was. As of now; I have been there with parental rights for more then 1/2 there life. I'm NOT going anywhere and you will have to put up with me for at least another 11 years like it or not. I do take full responsibility for not have seen them the first 31/2 years they were alive; having said that though there were many times that I asked, my mother asked, and you would agree only to leave either one or both of us standing looking like a dumb ass waiting on you to show up when you knew full well that you were not going to allow me to see them. At some point I decided to give up on it until I learned that I could do this without an attorney. I'm sorry that your fantasy world of me just paying child support and you never having to deal with ME personally didn't pan out.
4. Special events week-ends we have been over and again I will not continue to argue over them. Yes, I have asked for them a week out never to any avail. As I said before it doesn't really matter when you want them I am expected to bow down to you and accept whatever it is you want but when I ask for something this is the typical conversation that we have. ie: I am a piece of cheeze, I should NEVER expect you to consider the life that MY children have with me or my family.
5. Swapping the week-end that new baby was SUPPOSE to be born for the following week-end- first off she wasn't even born then, secondly I can't always just get off of work according to YOUR schedule. Remember, I drive a truck for a living and sometimes (most of the time) my schedule is planned for 2 weeks out. But then again, I am expected to bow down to what baby mama wants because she is the ruler.
6. I have no problem with you taking care of them when/if they are sick. Every child wants their mommy when they are sick. What I would like to see if that you offer a make-up week-end when they are. I don't get to see my children all that often and believe it or not when you deny them visitation with me and their daddy's family you are just hurting them more then anyone.
7. I am not trying to turn anything in to "your fault" I have simply stated facts about (a) not being allowed to talk to my children when I call since according to you step-dad works out of town and isn't even at home to allow me to talk to them and as you said you have me blocked so that I can't call. ( being denied visitation and you refusing to work with me on pick up of the girls.
8. I can promise you this though when/if we go back to court there will be things changed in the visitation order or we will just take it in front of a judge. Until then; I will continue to do what I can to have a relationship with my children and you can continue to tell them I am their "sperm donor" as you have so pleasantly put it. I hate to think what opinion they will have of their mother when they find out what "just after a sperm donor" entails. Unfortunately it says just as much about your morals and ethics as it does mine!
9. I have decided that the next week-end the girls are "to sick to participate in visitation, or a family emergency comes up I will pack my bags and come to them since they are not allowed to come with me.