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In the beginning, there was fun, there was news, and there was opportunity.

Forums seemed a good idea, after all we are all different and we like different things.

We could talk with others that had similar interest.

Some topics were should we say not everyone's cup of tea. We will put those behind a clearly marked curtain in the back. But with all things hidden and murky and dark, dark things were said and done.

Well dark things cause dark emotions, dark emotions shared in the sunlight of the common forums.

The grudges and anger at the dark characters looked quite different in the light with no explanation as to how people could behave that way towards someone on the internet, what did they do to cause such hatefulness.

Forums indeed were not the answer. 

Back porch topics should stay on back porches in real life.

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Perhaps some guidance is needed. Not everyone knows how far to take it, not everyone's boundaries are the same.

The clue being boundaries will not be tolerated by the special people we would rather have scorched earth than to tolerate boundaries. 

And scorched earth they created.

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What horse, I was musing to myself about the demise of social media. How's the view down there? Surprised to see anyone even bothering to stop by. I suspect that a few might have notifications turned on. They sometimes drop by to say Look we destroyed it come play in our sandbox. Maybe they will pop in with and invitation for you to stroll on the righteous side.

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Tribalism, as a last resort there is a stab at tribalism. Like is attracted to like. On the internet you can't see the tribe clearly. What costumes do they wear. What is the color of their hair, their skin? is their an accent to clue you in? How do you identify your tribe on a computer screen. Do you take clues from what they type, do they self identify as friend or foe. Perhaps they can be persuaded to somehow Identify themselves so you can label them if only in your own mind as friend or foe. And then what, you carve out your territory, you control it, you landscape it accordingly. Then what do you do your own thing, in your territory having what you call fun and doing your thing? When all the like folks are doing all the like things they always get bored, what is the fun of tribalism without enemies. 

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Familiarity breeds contempt. I never understood that one when I was young. I never understood it until I was on p.com for a few years. It is why tribalism is full of so many pitfalls.

What we do behind the closed door in our home is not just our business, it is where we are comfortable. It is where we build a world of comfort and acceptance. When we communicate with others in that environment we communicate from that place. The place where we make the rules, where we decide what behaviors are acceptable. We post on line many times from our safe place, our soft place, the place we protect from outsiders. The internet brings the outsiders to our inner sanctum.

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Justification is a slippery slope .We had a neighbor years ago that kept a pristine lawn. I would have coffee from time to time. She had a neighbor on the other side that I barely knew just to wave or smile. She could not stand this neighbor for some reason. Finding fault all the time. She complained to me about the little dog piddling on her lawn turning it yellow. I never saw a spot. She told me she was going to pour something on the neighbors ;awn to make yellow spots on hers. I said that is a little extreme just talk to her. Some time later she started complaining about the dog barking so she wanted to start playing her music loudly to get back at the neighbor. I pointed out that the other neighbors would be effected, she said once I tell them about the barking they will want me to teach her a lesson. The next claim was poop on the lawn she just knew came from the dog. She was going to dump her cat box on the neighbors lawn to show her. Next the dog chased her cat near to death, she was going to shoot the neighbors dog with pellets. I am coming around to her side obviously the owner has allowed the little dog to become a nuisance. She is ranting constantly about the hell the little dog and owner has become. I am on her side at this point something has got to be done. The last straw is when she tells me the dog has come into her yard viscously trying to attack her. Surely the neighbor got the message after all her lawn has been burned, music blasted, cat litter dumped on her lawn. The ladies in the coffee circle are suggesting outrageous retaliation, run it over, feed it rat poison, call animal control. Their friend is in hell with this neighbor and dog.

I being a loyal friend decide that when the women gets home from work I am going over their to tell her off and threaten to get animal control to take the dog. I ring the bell and in a few moments I hear this persistent raspy sound on the other side of the door. I can't quite make it out. A voice yells just a minute. I hear this gentle voice as talking tenderly when the door opens. The neighbor is holding a tiny dog, obviously extremely old with no teeth. It is barking at me in a tiny raspy voice as the lady says can I help you. I sit there just looking at the dog and her. She sets the little thing down and it totters a away on crooked arthritic legs. I ask her if she has another dog to which she replies no. This was her mothers dog that had passed away. I tell her I am sorry about her mom, tell her thank you and just walk away.

 

I learned about justification that day I and our friends were being manipulated to justify our friends nasty behavior towards this woman. I drifted away from that women, a few of the others too. I guess once you believe you believe, once you have pitched in with the justified persecution there is no turning back or turning inward.

I got to know the lady with the old dog later, It seems she had been sun bathing on her deck one afternoon. The ladies husband had persisted in trying to talk to her. When the lady came out and saw she was very nasty, not towards her husband but the women for sunbathing.

She had been nasty ever since. 

That is justification.

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