Trust Issues
I can openly admit that I have trust issues. As much as I would love to be more open and allow people to come closer, I simply can not bring myself to do it. I'm suspicious by nature. I've been burned too many times by people whom I thought I could trust, and I'm simply not willing to allow myself to be vulnerable like that again. I suppose the "once bitten/ twice shy" rule applies.
Now, I don't think that makes me a "bad" person or even an unusual person in today's society, but it does have me thinking. How often do we miss out on a great opportunity b/c of the trust baggage we continue to lug with us? How often do we push someone away or snap up a wall emotionally because of those trust issues? I know, speaking for myself, it's quite frequently. I just can't help myself although it IS something on which I've been working--self-improvement if you will. I do realize that this suspicion/lack of trust is a choice, and I suppose it's something with which I am willing to live... for now...or else the behavior would have been abandoned. However, it doesn't make me doubt myself any less. (Perhaps my suspicious nature extends even to myself--I've certainly given myself enough reasons NOT to trust me. )
In any event, I guess I just have some regrets with respect to trusting/ not trusting, and I was wondering if others did as well. If nothing else, perhaps this is an area in which more reflection/ meditation is needed.
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