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Cabe

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Posts posted by Cabe

    Here's a thought to ponder..

    in Internet Cafe

    Posted

    So,you counsel or litigate or did???not sure,maybe you can answer my last ques. what is usually the last straw???besides the obvious affairs abuse and so forth?

     

    My job involves litigating the divorce, I call it working out the business deal. Before anyone gets offended, that's basically what you are doing in real life. You have to set aside the emotional issues and work things out.

    Here's a thought to ponder..

    in Internet Cafe

    Posted

    So.knowing what we all know about marriage....at what point do you throw in the towel if that actually is your thoughts????When is it the last of the last straw???

     

    This would be a hard one for me to answer, since I've had very few days where I thought it wasn't worth it anymore . . . maybe when the bad days are outweighing the good days, when the marriage begins to affect you and your spouse negatively, when it negatively affects the children, and when there's not enough emotion left to cry, for example, you've had a really big fight, someone walks out, are you glad they are gone, or do you think you said too much and went to far . . . there's a different threshhold for everyone, no one else could tell you it's over.

     

    I can tell you, just based on my own observations, that women are more likely to walk away when they feel like the love is gone.

    Here's a thought to ponder..

    in Internet Cafe

    Posted

    Didn't there also used to be a 6 month reconcilliation period before you could file for divorce?

     

    Not in my 15+ years.

     

    I heard that and kinda wondered wow that sounds true in a fairytale I suppose but here in the real world not really

    Well, I dont know about that but I believe you have to attend counseling before you can divorce

     

    and, no.

    Ann Coulter

    in Internet Cafe

    Posted

    Thanks for your input Pubby. I was almost scared to admit I didn't know anything about her. :unsure: I'll still, at some point, take the time to formulate my own opinion, but I appreciate your input.

    Here's a thought to ponder..

    in Internet Cafe

    Posted

    Thanks for the kind words...actually I was a bit unsure of this topic because most people dont like to talk about it but it was buggin me because i wondered how other marriages were in general ofcourse..I mean i see so many people i know with the social mask on and i wonder what the .... you know.I have also heard that true freedom comes from never having to say your sorry...do you agree???

     

    I talked with a lot of people who are probably in a situation similar to yours, some don't understand how I do what I do and remain happily married, my reply is always that I couldn't do it if my marriage was miserable. I certainly have an easy "out" on a daily basis.

    I

    No, I don't agree. I've had to say it many times when I've overstepped the boundaries. I think when you no longer feel the need to say you are sorry, or when an argument doesn't make you sad, then you have a problem.

    Here's a thought to ponder..

    in Internet Cafe

    Posted

    I think the roomate syndome is common so how do you fix it?I think the key is to get both spouses interested at the same time i guess....and how do you do that???When one want to connect the other doesnt and visa versa

     

    There's the give and take . . . and finding the common ground, look back to what got you together to start with

     

    O.K heres one,,,,when you go out and if you pay attention how many couples do you see holding hands,cutting up,having fun???with each other....I think most are kinda just going through the motions because its what they did yesterday..

     

    I personally don't do the "public displays of affection" very often. But we laugh a lot.

     

     

    Having a good relationship with your spouse is one of the BEST gifts you can give your children. They will feel more secure and happier.

     

    Very, very good post.

     

    Wow thats a point I didnt think of...I have heard the second marriage usually goes better maybe because people know better of what they want ..I dont know

     

    Now I once heard someone say that the secret to their marriage success was that divorce was never on the table

     

    It really shouldn't be. If you have that "out" in the back of your head . . . you'll use it, and some people use it before they try anything else.

     

    My husband says that with my background he can't divorce me! :lol: :lol: :p

    Here's a thought to ponder..

    in Internet Cafe

    Posted

    WOW....Ditto, sounds just like my marriage!!

    We have been through hell and back, and we still love each other, and still very much in love. :wub:

    I think because we have been through hell, it is what has made us stronger, not on our own, but together.

    Does that make sense?? :wacko:

    This is my theory, and I know it's warped, but here it is....

     

    I think there is love.....you love each other, you get married, you grow apart, sheeze happens and you divorce.

    There's LoVe......you love each other, get married, grow apart and stay married because it's convenient.

    Then there is LOVE...You love, each other, get married, grow apart, find your way back, sheeze happens, you stand together, and you decide that there is no love but what you feel for each other, work it out and here you are.

     

    We fall in the LOVE category. :wub:

     

    I agree completely. My marriage, quite frankly in largest part due to my husband, survived the loss of a child. The stats on that one are staggering. 85%+ do not survive. He stood beside me and brought me back to the world.

     

    This is kinda a sub topic question??? Should marriage actually be work?Or should it come natural?????

     

    Maybe "work" isn't the right word, but it is a lot of give and take. I've used this analogy before, take 2 siblings, same parents, raised in the same house, can have very different view points. How much different could two people, possibly from different ends of the earth, expect to view life. You pick the battles, find your mutual ground, and work from there.

     

    See because my wife has said that it shouldnt be this hard and Im like it really is sometimes you take the good with the bad...when its good its good but when its bad its bad

     

    I agree.

    Ann Coulter

    in Internet Cafe

    Posted

    I'm surprised at the number who simply will not read the book. I will admit that prior to P.com, I didn't even know who she was. :rolleyes: But since we recently discussed the Davinci Code (I followed the thread, but didn't post since I have read it, but wouldn't say I'd never read it), I would think I would see more "open mindness" on here. Maybe I'm out of line since I really don't know that much about her, just my .02.

    Here's a thought to ponder..

    in Internet Cafe

    Posted

    Does counseling really work?if so what percent appx

     

    Hard to answer for me, most of the people I come into contact with have already made up their mind, but I will tell them, if they are expressing doubt, to go home and think about it.

     

    Wow! I miss the "in love" feeling. I don't know what a hug, kiss, love letters or any of that is anymore...that all flew out the window with the "skinny" me. That is what I miss...the "newness, tingly feeling". We got married and it seems like we are roomates rather than husband and wife. We NEVER do anything together :(

     

    I think that is when most people bail out, they believe the feeling should last forever. I'm not saying it always goes away, but it does come and go (for me too). It's hard to get the "butterflies" when you are holding a puking child (sorry best one I could come up with), but you know what I mean, sometimes life issues hold the butterflies at bay, that's where the work comes in, and you bring them back. (I hope this makes sense.)

    Here's a thought to ponder..

    in Internet Cafe

    Posted

    I've worked for a divorce ("family law") firm for about 5 years and I've just about seen it all. It's a wonder that anyone gets married anymore.

     

    Wait until you've been doing it 15+! My biggest story came in the last year! Like I said in an earlier thread, if some people knew what I saw in the course of doing my job, it would curl their hair! :wacko:

    Here's a thought to ponder..

    in Internet Cafe

    Posted · Edited by Cabe

    I must add, prior to getting married I got some great advice, my grandmother told me to marry someone who made me laugh. My Dad told me that when he got married he only thought he was in love, then after 25+ years of ups and downs, then he knew he was in love. I thought it was good advice.

     

     

    :) Edited because my grandmother said "laugh", not "life" . . . sorry

    Here's a thought to ponder..

    in Internet Cafe

    Posted

    This will be a very interesting topic for me to follow since I spend my days helping people get divorced, I think that people think it is easy to get out of, but add children to the mix, and it really isn't. Part of the job requires a lot of "counseling" and I think some people get married for the wrong reasons, then get divorced for the wrong reasons.

     

    But, I must say I've been happily married for almost 17 years, and dated my husband for two prior to marriage. Sure it has it's ups and downs, but so does anything worth working toward.

    BLACK BEAR SIGHTED- tuesday

    in Archive of Four Legged Friendzy

    Posted

    I heard that this time of year male bears are looking for females and new territories. Since the mountains are becoming so populated, they are coming south. When they don't find females, they wander on back to the mountains. Also heard the they like to travel power lines and pipeline. They make better time that way. Who knows though...but it made sense to me.

    . . . maybe he travelled the tunnels . . .

    I'm thinking of . . .

    in Internet Cafe

    Posted

    Meeting Misty has got me to thinking that maybe a paid membership here is for me . . . however, I need to clear up a few things before I take that leap . . .

     

    #1 - so being a freck is a good thing right? :p

     

    #2 - being a troll is bad? (please, someone define troll) :o

     

    #3 - I can't join until someone shows me how to post my pictures, I tried to post a picture of my wonderful dog in the pet thread, and it didn't work :(

     

    I'll let you know if I have more questions . . .

    question about cashing a check

    in Internet Cafe

    Posted

    The person who wrote the check would be the responsible party.

     

    You could contact the friend, tell him/her that you are not going to cash it -- that you'd like to rip it up and have him/ her purchase a Postal-Money-Order from their POffice and send that to you instead. That way you're sure to get the money owed. :)

     

    Hate to bear bad news, but I've heard of money orders being rejected as well.

    Pump It Up ROCKS!

    in Internet Cafe

    Posted · Edited by Cabe

    we had my son's birthday party there, and have attended several others and loved it, great fun for all ages, and yes, they take care of everything. would definitely do it again.

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