Guard dad

I have dog ears, I can hear extremely high frequencies that are usually above the range of human hearing. Women adore and worship me. OK, I lied about the second one.

Go to www.kbb.com. I think they run a bit high, but it will give you a good idea.

Time to play Slim Whitman songs.

Read the fine print, a low score doesn't necessarily mean unsanitary. One of my customers got a very low score a couple of months ago because the inspector came in while an A/C unit was broken and a section of wall in the back was torn out where a plumber had fixed a broken pipe the day before. Nothing at all that was food safety related, yet they got a 50 something on their inspection. Another thing we often see is when an inspector shows up during lunch when the personnel is constantly in/out of the refrigerators, and the temp will read warm on the thermometer. This is a temporary con

You and freezers!

Put a hot wiener in them.

I've used Open Office and it seems to work very well.

Virtually all the tournaments come out of Highland, after the weigh-in they release all the fish there. The area stays stacked full of fish.

Highland Marina. Really nice, and the fishing is very good. http://www.highlandmarina.com/

I'm trying to talk wifey into cutting the cord, all we get on the land line are sales calls anyway.

I was gonna suggest coco butter since that's what Guard mom used, but that's been covered. The trick is to stay "buttered up" all during the pregnancy, it improved the elasticity of you skin so you don't get stretch marks to begin with.

And Miss Uranus was disqualified for acting like a butt hole. (somebody had to say it)

You know who I work with.

Girl farts are the stinkiest.

What should I call you?

RNG -- She pull's my finger. Just kidding. She does a good job and she's a friend as well. Actually, we were friends long before we worked together. Lotsa nice folks on here.

Need a Crocodile Dundee test

Gas attack?

Some of the safety features make sense, some are ridiculous. Unfortunately, we now live in a society where it's always someone else's fault. If I spill hot coffee in my lap, it's Mickey Dee's fault. If I drag my lawnmower over my foot, it's the manufacturer's fault. If I use a hair dryer while in the bathtub and electrocute myself, it's the maker's fault. We don't take responsibility for being stupid anymore. Given this, the manufacturers have to protect themselves by sticking as many crazy safety gadgets on their stuff as they can. And we pay for this; not only are these things a

True story About 25 years ago I complained about a Taco Bell in Smyrna. About a week later several of their employees showed up at my apartment to thank me for complaining; seems that they had been trying to tell corporate for a long time how bad the manager was, and my complaint finally got them to come see what was going on. The manager was fired and a new one sent in to clean up the mess. Sometimes things work out.

I didn't know they still made them. They first came out in the 60's or 70's.

Now you're showing your age. So am I for knowing what you meant. LOL

...were on this car. Look at the car on the bridge. http://www.jsonline.com/news/wisconsin/53222642.html

Would you expect any less of me?