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A Friend Passed Today

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This is for me. It's long and it's sad and you shouldn't read it.


This one hit close to home when I realized that Eddie probably won't be memorialized anywhere else in the world, if I don't do it here. His family isn't sure if there will be a service, Eddie didn't have many friends you see. That's what comes so close to home, 'cause Eddie was a lot like me.

There's no way I could tell you when our paths crossed for the first time. Eddie was just another face in the crowd. It was a face that would become a little more familiar than the rest. Actually that's not true. I knew Eddie mostly by the back of his head. You might ask how that was. You see, Eddie was a drunk. I don't mean your common ordinary drunk that's looking to get a snoot full and live life like that. Eddie's first and only objective was oblivion. He was going down for the count sooner or later every time he started. There was no other possible outcome. I had to "lay my hands" on Eddie many times before I ever knew who he was. That's how I knew the back of his head so well. The only time I ever saw his face was on his way in. The next time he would be in front of me would be his back to me on the bar stool, up off the stool and out the door, nothin' but back. As a matter of fact, at this point I didn't even know his name. He was just one more eventual problem to handle every time he walked in the door. That's the simplified version, it was a tussle every time. Eddie wanted to be a mean drunk, he just wasn't good at it.

One night, one of the girls I was dating (who later helped me to understand that love is indeed a four letter word, but that's another long tale) takes me to a bar because she wants me to meet her brother and he's supposed to be there. As we walk in and start towards the bar, there is a very familiar back of a head getting closer, and closer. I'm thinking, "Well, maybe he won't recognize me and I'll get her and her brother across the room away from him. Of course she walks up to and turns around the familiar back of a head and introduces me to her brother, Eddie. He had just started, so I got to talk to him the first time ever semi-sober. Turns out, Eddie was a great guy, right up to a point.

I came to know and understand Eddie a little better over the next 3 decades. Like I said, Eddie was a great guy up to a point. Over the years he meet a woman at work, where he was mostly sober. The problem was that she was mostly sober at work too. After work was several years of mutual hell, mostly at home with just the two of them and sometimes his family, until that didn't work anymore. then it was just him in his own hell for a long while.

Last year while working out of town he was diagnosed with a brain tumor. He did the chemo and radiation "mostly for momma" is what he told me. It hurt and made him sick, but it seemed to work, until it didn't. He'd sworn that he wouldn't do the treatment again, but when it came back, momma talked him into it again. This time it was just pain and sickness, but no better. Things are worse from there, but both I and you can imagine. and it's best left at that.

Today that ended. His family isn't sure if there will be a service, Eddie didn't have many friends you see. That's what comes so close to home, 'cause Eddie was a lot like me.

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After reading this, please know you're not crying alone. I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend and the pain you're feeling now. :cray:

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May your friend found peace .....

May you find the positive of the friend being in your life and it helps ease the grief of his passing.








and I understand the friend situation ...... know that you have friends here.

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I have a belief that most drunks are more fragile than the rest of us.

If you look hard enough or at the right time you will see it.

The family often struggles with the feeling of relief that causes them guilt and pain in the end.

It is often difficult to memorialize them. The fact that you did so says so much about you as a person.

It reminds us that everyone is at least the child of someone and maybe a brother, or father.

I hope he has finally found that soft place to fall and rest.

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