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Third grader handcuffed.


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Well we will just have to disagree on this. Whipping, and I assume we are not talking about a light slap on the rear, is by definition an act of violence. It's simply a way of beating a child into submission. It's kind of a shortcut to get a favorable result and one that a child will carry into adulthood.

No it's not.

 

And we do disagree.

 

They got a whipping on their butt, three times.

 

I got whippings. I'm neither violent or submissive. I just learned what I shouldn't do.

 

Beatings are entirely different and cause a lot of psychological damage. I don't think a whipping on the butt hurt anyone, at least not for long.

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No it's not.

 

And we do disagree.

 

They got a whipping on their butt, three times.

 

I got whippings. I'm neither violent or submissive. I just learned what I shouldn't do.

 

Beatings are entirely different and cause a lot of psychological damage. I don't think a whipping on the butt hurt anyone, at least not for long.

 

 

I don't know, Lo!

 

I thought I knew you better.

 

I believe you would cower to a cop just based on what he is, and not based on your constitutional rights.

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You're wrong Eddie.

 

 

Why, hell, according to E Z, Lo, I'm "ALWAYS" wrong.

 

Lo!

 

You made no response to the fact that violence is down among citizens of this country, EXCEPT FOR COP.

 

Why?

 

It's not because you can't see it, you just want it hid from the public eye.

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Why, hell, according to E Z, Lo, I'm "ALWAYS" wrong.

 

Lo!

 

You made no response to the fact that violence is down among citizens of this country, EXCEPT FOR COP.

 

Why?

 

It's not because you can't see it, you just want it hid from the public eye.

 

 

You're off topic Eddie, you just can't help yourself :p

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I dunno, low. My son was diagnosed with ADD when he was in the fifth grade. He graduated last year. He wasn't considered special needs and doesn't receive any kind of benefits. I wouldn't accept them even if he were eligible, he's not disabled. Maybe it depends on the severity of the condition. Maybe someone who knows more will chime in. I do know that it can be very complicated.

 

 

 

The Boston Globe did an excellent series on the abuse of

disability payments for children with ADD / ADHD last year...

 

 

;)

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Well then LPPT then you might be a big fan of Mexico's approach to dealing with the disabled and the unruly child.

 

 

Just curious did you tie you children up with rope or did you keep a set of handcuffs around the house ?

I had a 4 year old that chased everyone in the house with hand cuffs and bits of rope for about 6 months begging us to tie him up. LOL! It was quite weird. I am in no way in favor of being cruel to anyone. I don't think you should cruelly treat even the worse people. I guess I don't see this as exceptionally cruel to a child with his condition, many grow out of or control this condition and grow up to be very productive people. I found raising children that you have to create a synapse that over rides the compulsion to disobey or throw a tantrum. My grandmother would go get a glass of water when you threw a tantrum,and opened your mouth to scream she pitched it right in your face. Children do not like the feeling of being out of control and they are not born knowing how to control themselves. Obedience is also about safety. You create the consequence so they don't experience the worse consequences. My 4 children were all very different and responded to different forms of discipline. Once I found that thing I only had to threaten with it. I never liked corporal punishment and used it very little.

What if this is experience created that for this young man? What if all the teacher had to do was mention the resource officer. Do you know how much this would change his life from that day forward. Fear of consequences is what keeps us all in line and safe.

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I was diagnosed as an adult with ADD. I know I had it as a kid too. I had the hardest time paying attention in school and it takes me forever to clean my house!! But no, I would never consider myself disabled.

I was labeled hyper. I have always had more energy than most people. I think mostly nervous energy, I grew up with constant screaming and hitting. I think it had a lot to do with it. I have also found that people don't appreciate hyper people, they like it when they want to get something done but want it turned off when not. I also have the ability to literally turn everything around me off, pretty sure it was a survival mechanism when you live with screaming and raging all the time. Every child is different and knowing you, you are doing the absolute best with your child. All kids regardless of disabilities need compassion and understanding. Very few actually get it.

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I had a 4 year old that chased everyone in the house with hand cuffs and bits of rope for about 6 months begging us to tie him up. LOL! It was quite weird. I am in no way in favor of being cruel to anyone. I don't think you should cruelly treat even the worse people. I guess I don't see this as exceptionally cruel to a child with his condition, many grow out of or control this condition and grow up to be very productive people. I found raising children that you have to create a synapse that over rides the compulsion to disobey or throw a tantrum. My grandmother would go get a glass of water when you threw a tantrum,and opened your mouth to scream she pitched it right in your face. Children do not like the feeling of being out of control and they are not born knowing how to control themselves. Obedience is also about safety. You create the consequence so they don't experience the worse consequences. My 4 children were all very different and responded to different forms of discipline. Once I found that thing I only had to threaten with it. I never liked corporal punishment and used it very little.

What if this is experience created that for this young man? What if all the teacher had to do was mention the resource officer. Do you know how much this would change his life from that day forward. Fear of consequences is what keeps us all in line and safe.

 

 

Just do it with no uniform. The child's father is better than any resource officer, if he loves his child. Of course, some fathers just don't love their child.

 

I just think anything is better than allowing a police officer to restrain a child. And, damn sure don't call 911, because the police might come out and hill your child. Some of them want even bother their pepper spray, nor their taser, and want even shoot your child in a place that want kill him. They will go straight for the heart, with a deadly pistol. .

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I'm thinking it was probably the resource officer at the school TP. Isn't it odd that for several years now we've had to have resource officers (cops, deputies, ect) at our schools now to be available for trouble.

That is because if threee incidents. Columbine, Rockdale high, and ZERO tolerance. Nothing else. My original statement stands. Do not treat my little boy like that. I'd rather give the devil my soul than to live knowing I allowed that individual to cast another fake smile at any person, especially a child.

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A kid that ain`t cried hasn`t been disciplined.

If a child lives with criticism,

he learns to condemn.

If a child lives with hostility,

he learns to fight.

If a child lives with fear,

he learns to be apprehensive.

If a child lives with pity,

he learns to feel sorry for himself.

If a child lives with ridicule,

he learns to be shy.

If a child lives with jealousy,

he learns what envy is.

If a child lives with shame,

he learns to feel guilty.

If a child lives with encouragement,

he learns to be confident.

If a child lives with tolerance,

he learns to be patient.

If a child lives with praise,

he learns to be appreciative.

If a child lives with acceptance,

he learns to love.

If a child lives with approval,

he learns to like himself.

If a child lives with recognition,

he learns that it is good to have a goal.

If a child lives with sharing,

he learns about generosity.

If a child lives with honesty and fairness,

he learns what truth and justice are.

If a child lives with security,

he learns to have faith in himself and in those about him.

If a child lives with friendliness,

he learns that the world is a nice place in which to live.

If you live with serenity,

your child will live with peace of mind.

With what is your child living?

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This is wrong on so many levels. No kid should be placed in handcuffs at school. There is no excuse for this. Kids with ADHD lack impulse control and no, they may not always know what they're doing. There is a proper way to deal with kids like this and this is NOT it. So now this kid with ADHD and a lack of impulse control will be scared of cops the rest of his life, I'm sure that will benefit us all. I find this highly disturbing.

 

A runaway train doesnt know what it's doing either but that doesnt mean it should be allowed to continue what its doing. You know who else lacks impulse control? Rapists. If a guy has Ebola, it might not be his fault but im not going to let him cough on me either. Being handcuffed while in a room with observing professionals done according to procedure is NOT ABUSE. And if little Jimmy gets traumatized by THAT he better learn to grow a pair because life is going to throw far worse things his way.

Aren't ADD and ADHD different from one another? If not, why not call them both the same thing?

 

ADD was eliminated in the DSM, everything is under the ADHD spectrum now.

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A runaway train doesnt know what it's doing either but that doesnt mean it should be allowed to continue what its doing. You know who else lacks impulse control? Rapists. If a guy has Ebola, it might not be his fault but im not going to let him cough on me either. Being handcuffed while in a room with observing professionals done according to procedure is NOT ABUSE. And if little Jimmy gets traumatized by THAT he better learn to grow a pair because life is going to throw far worse things his way

You must have been outraged at the woman that was recently arrested in Georgia for confining her mentally challenged children in a makeshift cage. Just good a good mother trying to teach her children a little self control right ?

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You must have been outraged at the woman that was recently arrested in Georgia for confining her mentally challenged children in a makeshift cage. Just good a good mother trying to teach her children a little self control right ?

 

Considering that she wasnt a trained professional, nor following a set procedure for dealing with them, No I wasnt. There are places with experts who have specially made "cages" to deal with children like that and she should have referred those children accordingly. Strawman argument there.

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You must have been outraged at the woman that was recently arrested in Georgia for confining her mentally challenged children in a makeshift cage. Just good a good mother trying to teach her children a little self control right ?

You know what, I have never owned a play pen. My children were never in one.

I can tell you if they were monitoring a lot of mothers with play pens a lot would be in big trouble.

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Was the officer trained in psychological problems? Does anyone remember the horrors of central state hospital? Was the kids being that aggressive? I know extreme cases require extreme force, but let me ask all of you parents that don't have a problem with this handcuffed third grader, the next time your child acts out will you handcuff him/her like that. Maybe the parents would whip their kids behind of the police wouldn't lock the parents up.seems to be a catch 22.

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Was the officer trained in psychological problems? Does anyone remember the horrors of central state hospital? Was the kids being that aggressive? I know extreme cases require extreme force, but let me ask all of you parents that don't have a problem with this handcuffed third grader, the next time your child acts out will you handcuff him/her like that. Maybe the parents would whip their kids behind of the police wouldn't lock the parents up.seems to be a catch 22.

We don't have all the facts on either story. We simply know we don't like what we see.

I have never been able to see children be whipped or yelled at.

I used other types of discipline.

Mt first child at the age of 4 became obsessed with anything of mine. She would pull my night gowns out of the drawer and roll in them. No harm there, then she began to use anything she could find to stand on to get up high to decorative and glass objects I had out of reach. One day I found one broken behind the couch.

I showed it to her, talked about how it was special to me, a treasure like her toys. I went to her room got her favorite toy then told her I am going to break it. I want you to know how it feels to have your things broken.

She begged and cried for me not to do it. I put it on the floor and stomped it and broke it.

My first husband said that was the cruelest punishment he had ever seen.

 

Not only did she never touch my treasures again she guarded them from her siblings and other kids that came to play. To this day she takes good care of her things.

 

 

So was it more cruel than time out or a smack on the hand or butt. I didn't see it as cruel but he did. Maybe I should have continued to beg her for years not to handle or break my things. In the real world your not begged or ask not to break the law again. Nor does your boss beg you over and over to follow company policy.

 

I have never dealt with special needs children but I come from a long line of strong headed females, even my nieces are the same as my girls were. When I visit and these girls test me, it only happens once. I am always fair, they can play have fun, talk, cook, clean with me. I often play with them. They enjoy me because they know the boundaries and I make sure life is good when you stay in them. ADHD children need more reinforcement of boundaries and consistency than other children.

 

Their energy most often gets on the nerves of the adults around them. Children can not comprehend irritating adults because it is never the same thing twice, some expect their children to read them and stop getting on their nerves. This causes a lot of anxiety in these children when they can not comprehend what they are doing wrong most of the time.

It is not just special needs children, what is a normal amount of time for a child to sit quietly and stay engaged. I can tell you that our education system has not got a clue. They have to create sedentary children to educate them. If you can't be turned into a sedentary person then you have ADHD. Because no matter what they do they can not turn you into a good student.

These children have got to master their frustration and anger.

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Was the officer trained in psychological problems? Does anyone remember the horrors of central state hospital? Was the kids being that aggressive? I know extreme cases require extreme force, but let me ask all of you parents that don't have a problem with this handcuffed third grader, the next time your child acts out will you handcuff him/her like that. Maybe the parents would whip their kids behind of the police wouldn't lock the parents up.seems to be a catch 22.

 

 

Restraining a child is different than tasking some material thing from him, I think!

 

I know you can't please everybody, and you must do what you think is right. If a child lives with fear, he learns to be apprehensive. But, I think a certain amount of apprehensiveness is beneficial.

 

Kids learn what they live.

 

Maybe children can learn this:

 

Edited by The Postman
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Yes, ADHD can be considered a disability but not necessarily special needs. My oldest was diagnosed with AD/HD combined type secondary to oppositional defiance disorder when he was 5. I received a LOT of criticism from people for even getting him tested, called everything from a lazy person to a horrible mother, by people who did not know my son or the situation. He was thoroughly evaluated, not just handed a prescription for Ritalin by his pediatrician. Anyway, children with ADD and ADHD do lack impulse control--that's part of the definition. The area in the brain that is responsible for activity and impulse control matures later in ADHD kids than in non-ADHD kids. Yes, they should still be held accountable for their actions and face consequences but being placed in handcuffs by a cop (or resource officer) in front of the classmates is NOT the answer. Parents should be called way before it gets to this point and REMOVE THE CHILD FROM THE ENVIRONMENT! Many times I'd send my son to his room when he was starting to go into meltodwn mode and he'd come out a short time later, calm and ready to talk. He knew what he said/did and why it was wrong, he just needed a change of scenery to help decompress, and to not be stared at by everybody. He's now in 8th grade and taking honors algebra and is a solid A/B student. There are ways to handle situations but this was the wrong one.

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