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Things that make you go, hmmmmm.


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There are a lot of things in life that I don't understand, why the dog goes outside to do it's business, yet within 10 minutes of it coming back in I find poop, why whatever lane of traffic I am is always the slowest, why my wife married and stays married to me (ok, that is one that nobody understands), but here is a new one that occurred to me.

 

Why can the amusement parks take a clear photo of you on a rollercoaster, going 70 mph, but banks can't take a good picture of a robber?

 

 

What are some things that make you go, hmmmmm?

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After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?

 

After they make Styrofoam, what do they ship it in?

 

How come wrong numbers are never busy?

 

How do you get off a nonstop flight?

 

If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?

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After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?

 

After they make Styrofoam, what do they ship it in?

 

How come wrong numbers are never busy?

 

How do you get off a nonstop flight?

 

If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?

I can answer the Styrofoam one. Duh, they wrap it in plastic, then put it in a box lined with Styrofoam.

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Huuuummmmm?

The movie Paddington Bear.

People in England are not surprised to see a talking bear.

Creepy.

 

Huuuuummmmm?

People who can't pronounce my name.

It's only four letters.

 

Hummmmmmmm?

The fact that my dog toots, then turns around in circles to sniff his creation.

 

Hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?

OBAMA.

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Why are cold water faucets always on the right?

Because of habit. Most people do not look for the red or blue indicators and habit makes us use our dominant hand to utilize things. Most people are right handed therefore cold on right. Mixing valves and tempered water are relatively new, and water heaters use to get really hot. Not good to get 140 degree water on your skin.

Edited by afewcardsshy
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Why do hotdogs come in packs of 10 and buns in packs of 8?

 

Why do you cut a tree down, then cut it up?

 

Why do weeds grow like crazy in my yard, but grass dies within weeks?

 

Why do the networks put the good shows on at 10:00 when I need to go to sleep?

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After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?

Nope,,, they're half and half, so they only have to wait 30 minutes to get in or out.

After they make Styrofoam, what do they ship it in?

A double wall cardboard box, so the peanuts don't get bruised.

How come wrong numbers are never busy?

Um, um, um,,, cause if they were busy, you wouldn't know they were wrong???? Am I right? Am I right?

How do you get off a nonstop flight?

Hopefully, you wait for it to land, (it should eventually run out of fuel), or just pull a D B Cooper!

If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?

Easy peasy,,, the IRS!!!!!!

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Time for more....

 

Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

 

Can you get cavities in your dentures if you use too much artificial sweetener?

 

Do vampires get AIDS?

 

Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?

 

How does a person with a lisp pronounce that word?

 

Was the pole vault accidentally discovered by a clumsy javelin thrower?

 

What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?

 

Who opened that first 'oyster' and said "My, my, my. Now doesn't 'this' look yummy!"

 

Why do we have hot water heaters when hot water doesn't need to be heated?

 

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

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Time for more....

 

Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

 

Can you get cavities in your dentures if you use too much artificial sweetener?

 

Do vampires get AIDS?

 

Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?

 

How does a person with a lisp pronounce that word?

 

Was the pole vault accidentally discovered by a clumsy javelin thrower?

 

What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?

 

Who opened that first 'oyster' and said "My, my, my. Now doesn't 'this' look yummy!"

 

Why do we have hot water heaters when hot water doesn't need to be heated?

 

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

 

Anybody else want to take a shot at this,,, I'm worn out from the other one....

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If a zombie bites a vampire, does the vampire become a zombie vampire?

 

 

If silver kills a werewolf and a stake through the heart kills a vampire, why does a silver stake through the heart just make my ex mad?

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Why is a pair of pants referred to as a pair? It's one piece of clothes.

 

Because the first tailor was one-legged and so when he first invents pants, it started out with one pant leg. He realized that the market was bigger if he put two pant legs on his creations and to increase the perceived value of his offering, he called it a pair of pants.

 

Why do hotdogs come in packs of 10 and buns in packs of 8?

 

Why do you cut a tree down, then cut it up?

 

Why do weeds grow like crazy in my yard, but grass dies within weeks?

 

Why do the networks put the good shows on at 10:00 when I need to go to sleep?

 

#1 ... cause you got to tip the dogs ... two sausages less the buns is 15%

 

#2 ... you cut it up either typically into fire wood, which when it burns goes up from your fireplace or you put the pieces into a structure which comes up from the ground.

 

#3 ... Because you call things that grow naturally in a place weeds. They grow well because they are well adapted to the environment whereas you expect a particularly ill-suited plant that has as its only attribute the absurd desire of a human being to show his or her conformity by altering the environment at great cost and effort to make a plant totally unsuited to the place grow there.

 

#4 ... Because they figured you're not only tired, but buzzed, not thinking straight and if they can capture your attention long enough while you're in that zone between being awake and asleep - they can sell you something using subliminal communication techniques. (You're critical thinking skills are at a low point and drug manufacturers actually prefer these moments to introduce new kinds of maladies like restless leg syndrome. In any case, you are more likely to ask your doctor to prescribe that medication that they warned you would kill you to solve the problem that doesn't exist because you weren't paying attention because you were actually half-asleep trying watch the good show they put on at 10 when you really should be going to sleep.

 

Time for more....

 

Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

 

 

Caves

 

Can you get cavities in your dentures if you use too much artificial sweetener?

 

No

 

Do vampires get AIDS?

 

Yes, this is what how the walking dead happened. All those folks - everyone is a vampire.

 

 

Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?

 

Yes but they pray for them before they do.

 

 

How does a person with a lisp pronounce that word?

 

The same way they always did; with a lisp.

 

 

Was the pole vault accidentally discovered by a clumsy javelin thrower?

 

No, it was invented by the guy who was running from a jealous husband and hoped to hop over the fence

 

 

What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?

 

Free gift's are those you get; you'll find in life, most gifts are those you give and they aren't free.

 

 

Who opened that first 'oyster' and said "My, my, my. Now doesn't 'this' look yummy!"

 

The cave men were sexual perverts... I thought everyone knew that.

 

Why do we have hot water heaters when hot water doesn't need to be heated?

 

We don't have hot water heaters where I come from ... we just have water heaters ... I think hot water heaters are a Mississippi thing.

 

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

 

You've never lived in a tourist trap; there is more than one way to skin a cat or scalp a tourist. Indeed it is considered armed robbery if you shoot 'em. Conning them is arguably legal.

 

 

 

Hope that helps.

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