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​I realize this is a little long but I am looking for unbiased opinions her... Please be honest and give me your thoughts
To baby daddy-
Baby Mama has just started experiencing contractions late this morning and has began to dilate. Her doctor says she could deliver our daughter at anytime over the next day or so. We will be keeping the girls home this weekend so they are able to share in the birth of their baby sister. If delivery goes well and both baby mama & our daughter come home as planned, we would be happy to just trade weekends with you and you can have your time with the girls next weekend.
Thanks,

Baby Mama and Step-Dad

 

 

 

 

 

 

To baby mama-

It is almost impossible for me to swap weekends right now. My employer makes arrangements for me to be off every other Friday since my mom can no longer pick the girls up and bring them to me.
I have no had visitation with the girls in over a month since they were not allowed to participate their last scheduled weekend.
I understand you wanting them there for the birth of their sister. I will be happy to bring them to the hospital to visit but I am unwilling to give up my weekend yet again.
Baby Daddy

To baby daddy
Dad this is baby grandma, baby mama's mom. I understand that this is your weekend for visitation with child A and Child B. However, like step dad said in his email to you- baby mama is in labor and her doctor expects her to deliver at anytime. The girls will be staying with our family and y'all can work out make-up details later. The girls WILL be with their parents during the birth of their baby sister. This is a happy occasion for them all and it will stay that way. If you have follow up question/concerns you are welcome to call me but you will not bother baby mama and step dad during this time.



To baby mama
It just seems ironic that when I ask for a special events weekend a week in advance or ask to swap weekends for some reason I am denied that but when you need it I am expected to bow down and give in to what ever it is you say. Bit that goes back to you being a control freak- whatever....

To baby mama

Since you have offered to trade weekends I would like to pick the girls up Saturday AM and return them on Monday since they do not have school. Please let me know.
Thanks
Dad


To baby mama

It has now been 48 hours since my original email about swapping and getting the girls this weekend. You are the one that decided they could not come the weekend of August 8- when you were supposedly having a baby and I even offered to bring them to the hospital should you have her, which by the way you didn't.

Now to get any kind of response on trying to swap that weekend as you offered has gone ignored.
I have been denied by you for every "special events" weekend I have asked for, you have never allowed me to swap a weekend when it was needed, you have never been the least bit co-operative in anything when it comes to the girls being with me.
I'm not sure why I even bother asking. I got exactly what I expected when I requested to have them this weekend NOTHING.
Thanks
baby daddy



To baby Daddy

I do apologize! I was unaware there was a time limit on replying to emails and have been a little busy. However, you do have my husband's contact information should you have wished for a faster response instead of sending nasty emails with time lapse updates. Step-Dad offered you the following weekend as a make-up weekend for August 8th, which was August 15th. We heard nothing of you on August 15th and you never showed. Same as you did this past weekend, and it was your weekend! The children were left sitting here waiting on you. We heard NOTHING from you until 6:37pm when you finally texted my husband. By that point we were already on our way to dinner. This weekend is a holiday weekend. You have never been denied a "special events" weekend when requested. I do believe you should actually execute your true weekends without drama (IE: not showing up at all, showing up without car seats & expecting if not to be an issue, bring them home after they haven't been properly taken care of all weekend, etc.) before you should EVEN feel like we should work with you.
Baby Mama

 

 

 

To baby mama

First off I wasn't "nasty" I simply was trying to get an answer, YOU are the one that has started yet again throwing mud, second off, I do NOT feel that I should have deal with your husband for MY children anymore then you wish to deal with my mother for OUR children. I simply asked for a timely answer so that I could make arrangements.
As for my regularly scheduled weekend- I did call during my 15 min window however no one would answer the phone as is the norm and even if you had of you would not have allowed me to pick them up even though things were out of my hand in getting there on time. As I have stated on numerous occasions I drive a truck for a living. You can never control when you will be sitting in traffic for 3 hours as I was on Friday. I have made every possible arrangement with my employer to be here and in town on my regular weekends. I can not ask him to guarantee me to be home every weekend. To have asked him to give me the following weekend guaranteed at home would have been impossible; hence me asking for this weekend. That is the life of a truck driver and you know this; you are just unwilling to work with me when something of this nature happens.
As for requested "special events" weekends I will be glad to provide you with text and emails where you have denied those stating that you had to have a minimum of 2 weeks notice even though you have never yourself followed that rule. I will consider the birth of your new daughter your 2nd "special events" weekend for this year. Even though in the grand scheme of things doesn't really make a damn since when you don't want them to come over they will "be to sick to participate in visitation".
Considering you have made them miss their own birthday party at stars and strikes, successfully kept them from me since before their birthday, I will consider this request as being denied as well.
Have a great evening
Baby Daddy

 

 

To baby Daddy

Not real sure why you don't feel you should be communicating with step dad at this point?!?! Your communication being with the girls DADDY is no where even remotely equal to you asking us to deal with a grandparent. Also, considering step dad is the ONLY person supporting the girls financially (since he considers it rather important I be home with the children full time)- I'd say he is the perfect one for communication regarding the girls to go through. When you begin to be the father he is to the girls, you can throw it up that they're YOURS. Until then, all I consider you to be is a sperm donor that we do wish for them to at least know so they can form their own opinion and don't have to take our word for your ways. I'm a little tired of you bashing my husband because they're not biologically his children. He entered their lives LONG before you did (BY YOUR CHOICE MIGHT I ADD) and has been a perfect parent to them since day one. He has loved them, provided for them, cared for them when they were sick, taught them right from wrong, etc. Until you can say the same (WHICH WILL BE NEVER- because you can't even seem to do the minimum required of you by our state) I believe he is the perfect one for you to communicate with regarding the girls because honestly I don't like putting up with your drama & sorry excuses all of the time. He is a retail manager and deals with people like you all of the time & is MUCH better at doing so. Special events weekends should be requested 2 weeks prior UNLESS something happens that is unavoidable such as a death! THE ONLY time we've requested a special events weekend that was not notified 2 weeks prior was the last weekend my grandfather was alive. The times you have requested have always been "week of" because of "out of town family coming in" which could EASILY be requested 2 weeks prior. And typically those requests come after weekends like this past weekend where you don't execute your time with them as you should and once again expect everything to be rearranged for you because you fell short and didn't do what you should. We offered to swap weekends with you when Mary Kate was born because you hadn't seen them in as long as you had instead of requesting a special events weekend. That weekend WILL NOT be considered a special events weekend as you were offered the weekend of August 15 as a make-up so they could visit with you, when you left them sitting on the sofa waiting again! A phone call would have been appreciated in that case as well. As far as the girls not being allowed to come if they're not feeling well, that will continue and is your own fault we choose to handle visitations as such. You're not responsible and do not properly take care of them when they're well- so I sure the hell won't be letting them go if they're even the slightest bit under the weather! Denver & I have to pay their doctor bills and we can't afford a doctors visit every time they come home from your house because you can't use good judgement and take care of them so they don't get worse. But you can go ahead and think what you want to. You can turn every little thing into my fault if you feel like it. I'm used to it by now and have come to accept that this is just how your mother raised you and people like you WILL NEVER TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THEIR OWN ACTIONS! No matter what you say to them.
PS
Not real sure who you called on 8/8 at 6:15 as you're claiming, but it wasn't my husband! (And you're blocked from calling me as you knew already). Next time at least a phone call would be lovely so the girls aren't left sitting on the sofa waiting! You've done that to them to many times to count and last weekend will be the last! My girls deserve MUCH better than that!
Baby Mama

 

 

 

To baby daddy

I am not going to keep arguing baby-mama I simply asked if I could have the girls this week-end in place of the last week-end you took.

However- to address some of your accusations:
1. Step-Dad is not their Daddy he is their step-dad. Yes, he lives with them full time and he has taken care of them. I have not degraded him nor have I "bashed" him. I simply said that I should have communication with their mother not their step father.
2. I have financially supported my children since they were born; yes, I have arrears I know this. I have been forced to take a lessor paying job so that I can be home to get them every other week-end as scheduled since you are unwilling to work with me and let their grandmother pick them up and bring them to me. Even with that there are times when because of my job things happen and I don't get there by the 6:15 mark and when that happens in your eyes I just am neglecting to pick up my children and be a daddy to them. Not at all the case but you refuse to see anything else and there is not changing your opinion and I won't continue to try.
3. Considering I was there for the birth of my children and their step-dad wasn't I think I was there first. Had I of known that I could obtain visitation with my children without an attorney it would have been done much earlier then it was. As of now; I have been there with parental rights for more then 1/2 there life. I'm NOT going anywhere and you will have to put up with me for at least another 11 years like it or not. I do take full responsibility for not have seen them the first 31/2 years they were alive; having said that though there were many times that I asked, my mother asked, and you would agree only to leave either one or both of us standing looking like a dumb ass waiting on you to show up when you knew full well that you were not going to allow me to see them. At some point I decided to give up on it until I learned that I could do this without an attorney. I'm sorry that your fantasy world of me just paying child support and you never having to deal with ME personally didn't pan out.
4. Special events week-ends we have been over and again I will not continue to argue over them. Yes, I have asked for them a week out never to any avail. As I said before it doesn't really matter when you want them I am expected to bow down to you and accept whatever it is you want but when I ask for something this is the typical conversation that we have. ie: I am a piece of cheeze, I should NEVER expect you to consider the life that MY children have with me or my family.
5. Swapping the week-end that new baby was SUPPOSE to be born for the following week-end- first off she wasn't even born then, secondly I can't always just get off of work according to YOUR schedule. Remember, I drive a truck for a living and sometimes (most of the time) my schedule is planned for 2 weeks out. But then again, I am expected to bow down to what baby mama wants because she is the ruler.
6. I have no problem with you taking care of them when/if they are sick. Every child wants their mommy when they are sick. What I would like to see if that you offer a make-up week-end when they are. I don't get to see my children all that often and believe it or not when you deny them visitation with me and their daddy's family you are just hurting them more then anyone.
7. I am not trying to turn anything in to "your fault" I have simply stated facts about (a) not being allowed to talk to my children when I call since according to you step-dad works out of town and isn't even at home to allow me to talk to them and as you said you have me blocked so that I can't call. ( B) being denied visitation and you refusing to work with me on pick up of the girls.
8. I can promise you this though when/if we go back to court there will be things changed in the visitation order or we will just take it in front of a judge. Until then; I will continue to do what I can to have a relationship with my children and you can continue to tell them I am their "sperm donor" as you have so pleasantly put it. I hate to think what opinion they will have of their mother when they find out what "just after a sperm donor" entails. Unfortunately it says just as much about your morals and ethics as it does mine!
9. I have decided that the next week-end the girls are "to sick to participate in visitation, or a family emergency comes up I will pack my bags and come to them since they are not allowed to come with me.
Baby Daddy
Edited by fasn8nmom
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I suggest using a different color for each person's comments, I found it confusing.

Example:

Person A in Black

Person B in Red

Person C in Blue

 

(If there is a Person D, then that is just too many persons :) )

Just kidding.

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I honestly stopped reading about a third of the way down.

 

If you're looking for empathy, I know it's frustrating to balance time with an ex.

 

If you're looking for an opinion, I'd give the girls the chance to share this exciting time and work out a way to trade weekends when it's good for both sides.

 

If you're looking for parental rights justification, consult with your lawyer.

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Well- for the record I am not in this scenario at all lol....

Yes it does sound like a jerry springer episode. I posted because one of the parties was going to post it FB- where there is no privacy. He/She was just trying to get some honest opinions as to what to do.

This is an ongoing thing for them and the birth of the new baby is simply what this one episode is about.

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I didn't read all of it, I got confused. That's not a new experience for me. :)

 

At the end of the day, and it may sound simple, do what's best for your girls. Always put their well being and happiness first. You will never regret it, I promise!

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Here's my opinion. The baby daddy should never have to deal with the step-father regarding the visitation of his children. It's between him and baby momma. If she was in labor and it was his weekend to have the kids and he didn't want to change weekends, that's his right as it is his weekend. If this is the schedule of the visitation order, then she was in contempt of court for not allowing the visitation to take place.

 

I think baby momma was creating a lot of unnecessary drama by getting her husband and mother involved in the situation. Granny was wrong telling baby daddy he couldn't have them on his weekend because they were going to be staying with her.

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If an opinion is what you want . . .

 

The dynamic of every family is different.

 

Some people will do what they must to make things good when children are involved, while others are more concerned with their own wants.

 

There will be people who take one side or the other in this situation, but I take neither.

 

Based on the text, it seems the kids have been used as leverage in the past - and it seems their presence (or denial of it) is being and/or has been used as revenge.

 

And, regardless of the current circumstances, using the kids is wrong.

 

The children need at least one of the parents to start being an honest, responsible adult.

 

Somebody needs to take that first step.

Edited by cmorg
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I feel sorry for these little girls, it doesn't seem that anyone has their best interests at heart. However, the grandma had NO right to dictate ANYTHING to dad. I'd call a lawyer before I'd share any of this on any social media sight.

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Family drama shouldn't be posted on FB ever. Mom and Dad should be mature enough to handle custody and visitation of their children. Dad shouldn't have to ask stepdad to see his own kids. It's not stepdad's decision. Grandma should butt out. It's not her decision either. People with children who get a divorce often pay a lot of money for their attorneys to iron out a visitation schedule. That's what Dad & Mom should abide by but it sounds like Mom doesn't see it that way.

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A long time ago, I read about a nasty divorce where there was a big squabble around who got the house and what nights and weekends the kids would be spending with whom.

 

The judge's decision was that somehow he had the house put in the names of the children and the parents had to find their own separate living arrangements and take turns spending the night in the house. The judge said it wasn't fair for the kids to be shuttled back and forth just because the parents were acting like idiots.

 

As for the OP's story, if I were baby daddy, I'd be dealing with baby mama and baby mama ONLY. If baby mama isn't living up to the terms of the visitation I'd be heading to court.

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I believe it's in the best interest of the children to be there when their sibling is born. I for one can't understand why mom wouldn't want to have her hands free of little ones while dealing with a newborn. Let them be there for the birth and so on and then let them go home with dad. There is obviously a lot of bitterness going on. And I agree, grandma needs to stay out of it.

Edited by jenilyn
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I believe it's in the best interest of the children to be there when their sibling is born. I for one can't understand why mom wouldn't want to have her hands free of little ones while dealing with a newborn. Let them be there for the birth and so on and then let them go home with dad. There is obviously a lot of bitterness going on. And I agree, grandma needs to stay out of it.

I disagree it's in the children's best interest to be there when their sibling is being born, when it's their father's weekend. For one thing, unless the delivery is a scheduled C-section, there's no guarantee the baby will be born during that weekend. If it's not, what happens when she goes into labor the following weekend; again the children's father gets screwed out of having his kids?

 

The children's father was more than willing to take the girls to the hospital if the baby was in fact going to be born. I think he was being very accommodating to the situation.

 

BTW, was the baby born on that weekend?

Edited by El Zorro
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My advice to these two? GROW THE HELL UP and behave like adults. Damnation!!! You don't like the ex? Well, look in the mirror, honey, 'cause you picked him/her. I'd be ashamed. I really would. These kids did not ask to be brought into the world, but they are asked to pay the price for grown idiots' mistakes/bad judgment. PUT THE KIDS FIRST. PERIOD.

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I disagree it's in the children's best interest to be there when their sibling is being born, when it's their father's weekend. For one thing, unless the delivery is a scheduled C-section, there's no guarantee the baby will be born during that weekend. If it's not, what happens when she goes into labor the following weekend; again the children's father gets screwed out of having his kids?

 

The children's father was more than willing to take the girls to the hospital if the baby was in fact going to be born. I think he was being very accommodating to the situation.

 

BTW, was the baby born on that weekend?

I don't think you do you disagree with me. You misunderstand my post. He seems to be willing to be very accommodating. I'm all for his plan. I think it would be wrong to keep the kids away from the birth of their sibling, that's all. I'm assuming it's a scheduled c-section.

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I don't think you do you disagree with me. You misunderstand my post. He seems to be willing to be very accommodating. I'm all for his plan. I think it would be wrong to keep the kids away from the birth of their sibling, that's all. I'm assuming it's a scheduled c-section.

 

Must not have been; he says later in the dialogue that she didn't have it that weekend.

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Must not have been; he says later in the dialogue that she didn't have it that weekend.

Yep, he gave up the weekend of the 8th. Baby wasn't born. I like the way the kids are always sick. What's up with that? How old are the girls anyway?

 

No matter the child support issue (which is apparently an issue) the kids should see their dad. A parent shouldn't have to pay ransom to see their child.

Step-dad knew what he was getting when he got with this girl. He needs to get over himself.

Granny needs to butt out.

 

But all in all they need to grow the hell up, or the kids will turn into hellions.

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My advice to these two? GROW THE HELL UP and behave like adults. Damnation!!! You don't like the ex? Well, look in the mirror, honey, 'cause you picked him/her. I'd be ashamed. I really would. These kids did not ask to be brought into the world, but they are asked to pay the price for grown idiots' mistakes/bad judgment. PUT THE KIDS FIRST. PERIOD.

I couldn't possibly have enough likes for this post!!! :clapping: :good:

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My opinion is that this father appears to be caring. I will admit i stopped reading halfway down due to the drama but i feel i read enough to state my mind on this subject since i raised my children without their dad visiting due to he didn't want to pay child support. Being a nurse i have worked in several fields and i can tell you that to have a well rounded child they should be able to know their parents, grandparents even if they are not the best people because they deserve to be loved and know that they are loved. These parents should work out their own problems without the grandma strong arming either of them. This father did state he would bring them to the hospital if the mom went into labor and he missed out on his weekend due to this. And if the father is paying his child support he should see his children. I never got child support from my childrens father and they still to this day love him but do not support him because he didnt visit. The parents of these children should work out their differences. I smell a little of agressiveness from baby mom and grandma. Lots of drama. I say be fair with all holidays. This is for the children not you. They should be able to love their dad as well as their mom. Hope the drama of this doesnt bleed over to the childrens relationship with their father or mom.

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OH DEAR, Gag me! Here's what I offer. (I use "you" as this needs to be addressed the the Baby Daddy)

 

Give baby mama a calender with your work schedule. You keep one too.

When weekends are swapped, make arrangements for the make-up weekend then.

Do not let her say the girls are sitting waiting for you on a weekend she knows you are working.

 

Good grief!

 

She is in contempt when you are not allowed to get them on your weekend.

You have to keep the records. Make small notes on the reasons for the swaps. You will need them in court, and it does appear you will be going there.

Poor girls.

For their sake, you need to be extra cautious to not talk about this when they are around. Please, be the stable one, in this awful situation.

Hopefully someday they will want relief from the drama. (and don't just follow its pre-planned tracks)

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Thank you so much for sharing. This is a teaching moment. While the father is not squeeky clean, clearly the mother is the aggressor and an alienating parent. From the maternal grandmother's response, it's a recurring problem over family generations. Clearly the mother believes "what's mine is mine and what's yours is negotiable."


To baby daddy
Dad this is baby grandma, baby mama's mom. I understand that this is your weekend for visitation with child A and Child B. However, like step dad said in his email to you- baby mama is in labor and her doctor expects her to deliver at anytime. The girls will be staying with our family and y'all can work out make-up details later. The girls WILL be with their parents during the birth of their baby sister. This is a happy occasion for them all and it will stay that way. If you have follow up question/concerns you are welcome to call me but you will not bother baby mama and step dad during this time.



Red flag for alienation here to say "the girls will be with their parents" as if to say the father is not a parent. I guess this means the father is just a paying visitor for every other weekend. There are too many red flags for alienation from the maternal side to name. This behavior is NEVER a concern for SOME courts as long as it's the mother doing it to the father.

...I'm sorry that your fantasy world of me just paying child support and you never having to deal with ME personally didn't pan out.



WOW!!!!! That's a common theme that SOME attorneys try to pull off. I'd love to know the name of her attorney.

Here's my opinion. The baby daddy should never have to deal with the step-father regarding the visitation of his children. It's between him and baby momma. If she was in labor and it was his weekend to have the kids and he didn't want to change weekends, that's his right as it is his weekend. If this is the schedule of the visitation order, then she was in contempt of court for not allowing the visitation to take place.

I think baby momma was creating a lot of unnecessary drama by getting her husband and mother involved in the situation. Granny was wrong telling baby daddy he couldn't have them on his weekend because they were going to be staying with her.


Really can't add much to what El Zorro said. He's spot on, especially with the clear triangulation of other's by the mother into a situation that is not their place to interject.

 

Maybe the dad should have used an attorney after all...

 

Sometimes you can afford an attorney or you can afford child support, but you can't afford both.

Edited by Domestic Violence by Proxy
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My advice to these two? GROW THE HELL UP and behave like adults. Damnation!!! You don't like the ex? Well, look in the mirror, honey, 'cause you picked him/her. I'd be ashamed. I really would. These kids did not ask to be brought into the world, but they are asked to pay the price for grown idiots' mistakes/bad judgment. PUT THE KIDS FIRST. PERIOD.

 

The problem is an 80/20 split not a 50/50 split. The mom successfully shut the father out of the kids life for 3.5 years. I think the father is handling himself rather well. The mother holds all of the cards so she dictates ALL of the terms. The buck stops with her. She has an axe to grind and she is hitting him over the head with it. Because he was a crappy boyfriend/husband doesn't make him a crappy father. Well it does in the mother's eyes.

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They need to grow up and do what is right for their children, whether they get along or not has nothing to do with the children. Also, baby mama should not have baby daddy blocked on her phone, that is very irresponsible and childish. Those two really need to learn some proper communication skills, they will all be the better for it.

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I read the whole thing. NO WAY should the father have to deal with anyone else besides the mother. The fact that the mother has the father's phone blocked is RIDICULOUS. What if there was an emergency??? The mother is using the children as leverage. She seems unwilling to accommodate the father yet expects him to accommodate her. I think it was very important for the kids to share in their sibling's birth, but it sounded like the father's plan would have been fine. I'm sure the father is probably no perfect angel, but the mother sounds like she has a couple of loose screws. The stepfather may take more of a father role, but that does not mean that the father is not the father.

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I had this same problem with the mother of my children after our divorce. I had them every other weekend and the schedule included picking them up at 6pm. If I knew I was going to be late because of work, I would call her and let her know. She'd say it was ok. I'd show up to pick them up and then she would say they couldn't go because the order says to pick them up at 6pm and it's now 6:15. I'd go to the nearest pay phone (no cell phones then) and call the police who would meet me at the house. Though he couldn't do anything about it because it was a civil matter, it would be recorded on his patrol log which could be obtained with a subpoena at a later date. BTW the visitation order said if I was going to be late picking them up, to call and let her know.

 

There were times when I would arrive and she would say the kids didn't want to go. Other times when she would say they were sick, or if one was sick none of them could go because they might come down with what the other had. Regardless of the excuse, I always called the police.

 

I took her to court for a show cause hearing. I had the patrol logs from the police department showing I was there to pick the kids up each time. The judge told her it didn't matter if the kids didn't want to go with me, she had to make them go. She admitted she wouldn't let them go if I was late picking them up, even after calling her. He told her the order said if I knew I was going to be late, to call. He said she was to still let them go with me. He also told her if the doctor didn't order the child to stay home when it was my weekend, she had to let them go.

 

I took her to court at least once a year for this stuff. After each court appearance, she would cooperate for six months and then start the BS again.


I read the whole thing. NO WAY should the father have to deal with anyone else besides the mother. The fact that the mother has the father's phone blocked is RIDICULOUS. What if there was an emergency??? The mother is using the children as leverage. She seems unwilling to accommodate the father yet expects him to accommodate her. I think it was very important for the kids to share in their sibling's birth, but it sounded like the father's plan would have been fine. I'm sure the father is probably no perfect angel, but the mother sounds like she has a couple of loose screws. The stepfather may take more of a father role, but that does not mean that the father is not the father.

Actually, under the law she cannot block his phone. Most visitation rights allow the father to call and talk to his children between visits. Also, she has to maintain a convenient form of communication with him. Email can be argued as not being convenient because people don't always check the email like they do phone messages.

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I appreciate everyone input into the situation. It is my hope that after both parents and grandparents read some of your opinions that perhaps they will do as some have said and "grow up"!! I truly believe that the children are the ones that are suffering the most and just want what is best for them!! (On both sides)!!

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Okay, you came here for opinions, here is mine.

 

The mother is in the wrong, she is controlling and she was just looking for an argument.

She will do what ever she has to, to stop the children from seeing their REAL FATHER.

As for the Step-father, he needs to butt out, he has no say in this. It's her problem that

She blocked the REAL FATHER on her phone. She is doing everything she can to be

hard headed and controlling. She seems that she changes the rules when it fits her

needs and wants. As for him being late to get the girls, to bad, he should up, let him

have the girls for his weekend. If this woman can cause this much problems over a weekend,

then you can just imagine what she tells the girls about their father.

Suck it up, keep your mouth shut and let the girls father see them. She turned this into

drama when she didn't need too. And stop using the girls to fight your battles. He will never

go away, and you and your husband need to deal with it. Grow up, stop being so controlling.

If you don't, I hope he takes you to court and keeps documenting every word that comes out

of your mouth.

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Some great feedback and a lot of good insight here. I will add a little more.

 

Children are NOT STUPID!! They can usually detect when their parents are deceiving them, behaving irrationally, or are not acting within the child's best interest. And if they don't realize it while it's happening, don't worry they'll figure it out eventually. When they grow up and finally realize the truth of what was going on, it will weaken the relationship between the children and the parent that was creating all the drama. They will come to have no respect for that parent. So while you think you may be protecting your children from their 'worthless father' or using your kids as leverage to 'get back' at your ex, your only creating a negative portrayal of yourself towards your children.

 

I feel so sorry for the children in this situation. They sure as hell did not ask for this shiit.

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Edited by Domestic Violence by Proxy
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Some great feedback and a lot of good insight here. I will add a little more.

 

Children are NOT STUPID!! They can usually detect when their parents are deceiving them, behaving irrationally, or are not acting within the child's best interest. And if they don't realize it while it's happening, don't worry they'll figure it out eventually. When they grow up and finally realize the truth of what was going on, it will weaken the relationship between the children and the parent that was creating all the drama. They will come to have no respect for that parent. So while you think you may be protecting your children from their 'worthless father' or using your kids as leverage to 'get back' at your ex, your only creating a negative portrayal of yourself towards your children.

 

I feel so sorry for the children in this situation. They sure as hell did not ask for this shiit.

I am working closely with several advocacy groups, locally and nationally, and I really wish this were true. Alienated children don't always have the strength of conviction, that is why they were alienated and emotionally manipulated in the first place. Often times they take the path of least resistance because they have grown financially dependent upon the alienating parent. They fear losing that financial crutch so alienation continues into adulthood. In better than 50% of alienation cases, the child is NEVER reunited with the family members they've been alienated from.

 

This is the fault of the Courts on whose watch this occurs and under whose supervision this conduct is allowed to continue. Courts and judges that are trusted to uphold the law but instead try to suppress and conceal the facts from ever reaching the public by exerting threats and pressure on the targeted parent/family members to remain silent through gag order injunctions and false allegations where the accusations are the evidence.

 

Courts and lawyers want the maximum amount of money spent for the minimal amount of headache. It is a common theme for courts throughout the country however many don't believe it until they see it for themselves. By then it's too late. We have major problems in our court system and until people stop giving the Courts blind trust and hold Court Officers accountable things will only continue to get worse.

 

Fox 54 (Augusta, Georgia) investigates courts and custody battles

 

SPECIAL REPORT (Augusta, Georgia): Radio reporter says judge scared him off from covering allegations against Doug Nelson

 

Who guards the guardians?

Court's 'ad litem' program suffers from shocking lack of accountability, responsibility

 

Augusta Father found innocent after being jailed for seeing his daughter.

 

Columbia County judge resigns over misconduct allegations

 

Katie Couric: How False Accusations Affect Families

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