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And I also know my son... If I want something removed from him where he can't get to it, I send it to a relative. He has gotten the car keys and went into the vehicles to get things that he wanted . Again, it only takes a minute. Mom leaves her keys out I do not. mine are always in my pocket. If he new the printer was in her trunk and did not have a key he would grab a screwdriver or hammer to get in. I'm not an idiot. It is not an excuse, it is the truth. I told you the alternatives I tried which were rather extensive just to keep a small child from getting into something he was told to leave alone. And how many other objects that are currently under lock and key should I also put in my trunk? I also have major issues with him getting into my tools. I would need a uhaul to put all of those away.

 

But my assumption with you is that you can not accept the fact that, given the knowledge I have about my son and all the issues he has and causes at this point in our lives, I would not knowingly repeat the act that brought him into being. But even as I say that, I still realize that the future has not yet been written and his potential future could very well be worth all of the aggravation. And that is not the same as saying I would rather he had been "discontinued" or that I wish he were dead now.

 

 

 

 

Dang... You're good.:drinks:

 

 

 

 

Thank you.:drinks:

 

I doubt anyone is ever going to understand or empathize with that statement.

I've thought the same thing, more than once.

It was never a 'If I had known the trouble she'd cause me...' thought, though. Definitely more of a 'If I had known the struggle she would endure...I don't know I would have put her through this voluntarily.' I thought that a lot, actually, when we were going through Tourettes testing. We didn't know it was an auditory tic - all we knew was that there was a 'voice' in her head repeating the same phrase. We thought she was schitzo, on top of everything else. It was devastating, and scary. Tourettes came as a huge relief.

 

But when you watch your child struggle to exist, and think about how their future could be, parents in our situation often ask themselves 'Would I do this again? Knowingly?'. As a matter of fact, HR was diagnosed with the bulk of her disorders when Mini'er-Me was just a few months old and I blatantly remember holding him, crying, and thinking 'Why did I do this again? What if he has to go through the same thing she did?'.

 

There are chapters about it in many, many behavioral disorder books, on many support websites, etc. As one psychologist put it: if they never existed, they never would have hurt. By existing, they often hurt. It's normal for parents to think about things they could have done to keep their child from hurting.

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Wow. Let me know if you need volunteers. I will GLADLY kick you in the nuts for this statement.     And his father wishes he was never born...so he has that going for him too.

You are aware that you can celebrate birthday's without parties, gifts, etc. RIGHT? Life is about consequences. It's a shame he has to learn a lesson at that age, but it won't scar him. They don't

Could you maybe buy him his own little printer and make him work for the money to buy more ink? I've never met your kid but it sounds like he might have some obsessive compulsive tendencies with the p

How about...stop focusing on the printer and all of the various reasons you can't get your kid to leave it alone, and go to kinkos the few times a month you need to print something out. Much cheaper, and a lot less stressful.

 

Again, the printer is what brought on the punishment in question. So many here are focused on trying to fix that problem.Tthe main question of this post was do the Pcom folks think that not giving him his Birthday present and not allowing a party with his friends was too much of a punishment? He will still get a cake with his family and a dinner of his choice. And family means only those in our home. The rest of the family was going to be gone anyway but we were going to do a friends party. Gifts from the relatives will still be given as arrangements were made prior to their leaving town. The point we were trying to make was that actions have consequenses. Because dad had to once again buy new ink, that cost will now be covered by the cost of his gift. And the party was cancelled due to blatant disobedience.

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Again, the printer is what brought on the punishment in question. So many here are focused on trying to fix that problem.Tthe main question of this post was do the Pcom folks think that not giving him his Birthday present and not allowing a party with his friends was too much of a punishment? He will still get a cake with his family and a dinner of his choice. And family means only those in our home. The rest of the family was going to be gone anyway but we were going to do a friends party. Gifts from the relatives will still be given as arrangements were made prior to their leaving town. The point we were trying to make was that actions have consequenses. Because dad had to once again buy new ink, that cost will now be covered by the cost of his gift. And the party was cancelled due to blatant disobedience.

 

 

Taking his gift for the day, will make him think...for that day! The minute you leave for work, your wife will give him a gift.

 

I would remove all printers from your home, and start working on the main issue. Next week you will have to take something else from him, and so on....because you are not taking care of the root of the problem.

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He has been under a doctor's care since Kindergarten. He is diagnosed with ADHD / ODD and now with the printer issues the doctor is adding in OCD tendancies. We go every 4 weeks to see his doctor. He is taking medications to help him with hyperactivity and basically assuage his anxiety which is supposedly what feeds the OCD and / ODD.

 

As far as my comments to time travel go. 1. I can not do that and I know that. 2. I would never wish a child like mine on anyone else in the world. It is beyond frustrating and exceedingly taxing on mine and my entire family's physical, mental and economic health. 3. Knowing the current situation and the likely outcomes would lead many to accept that this particular path woul not be the path choosen in life to take voluntarily. 4. Since I can not change history then I have to accept the current reality and give it my utmost in order to best maximize his potential and minimize the negatives.

 

And yes, we (his doctor, my wife and myself) have and are continuing to discuss the possibility of placing him in an institution like Devereux.

 

Devereux is wonderful. A friend of mine works there and she speaks very highly of what they do to help kids like yours. Please, at the very least, take him there to be evaluated.

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Again, the printer is what brought on the punishment in question. So many here are focused on trying to fix that problem.Tthe main question of this post was do the Pcom folks think that not giving him his Birthday present and not allowing a party with his friends was too much of a punishment? He will still get a cake with his family and a dinner of his choice. And family means only those in our home. The rest of the family was going to be gone anyway but we were going to do a friends party. Gifts from the relatives will still be given as arrangements were made prior to their leaving town. The point we were trying to make was that actions have consequenses. Because dad had to once again buy new ink, that cost will now be covered by the cost of his gift. And the party was cancelled due to blatant disobedience.

 

I've taught HR that hateful kids don't get extra treats. A birthday party, with friends, is an extra treat - just one most kids have, unfortunately, come to expect.

With the early puberty thing comes the early attitude and hormones, so HR and I have had our battles. When she's giving me attitude, I ignore her, but only after reminding her that I don't allow people to speak to me in that tone and will be happy to talk when she can be civilized. On the flip side, I'm extra friendly when she's being her normal, sweet self. She's getting the point, after a year of sticking to my guns. Outright disrespect (like the what Dis, Jr. gave you) gets more severe punishment. I've canceled many a sleepovers or plans due to outright disrespect...but it's been atleast four months since I've had a problem with it (and there were only a handful of hateful/disrespect issues beforehand). Consistency is key - they'll learn they can't get away with it if you don't let them, and if you don't react in an emotional way, they give up. Those words were said to have an effect on you, and they did. So, he thinks he's won, for now.

 

 

Devereux is wonderful. A friend of mine works there and she speaks very highly of what they do to help kids like yours. Please, at the very least, take him there to be evaluated.

 

I used to volunteer at Devereux. It really is a wonderful program.

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honey, no. my parents didn't have to sit on me when i was his age. but...i didn't have oppositional defiance disorder. you child isn't like you, or me. your child has special needs....needs that cannot be met with ordinary measures.

 

and i keep telling mr dis about his son...i love my son even though he drives me bonkers!!!

Edited by Snow White
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and i keep telling mr dis this...i love him even though he drives me bonkers!!!

 

If I could wrap you up in a hug, I would. You've got a tough road ahead, and the two of you are gonna hafta come to some sort of agreement about how your gonna parent the little guy.

Normal expectations are totally unrealistic in your case.

Please know that I'm not now, now will I ever judge whatever measures you have to take to do what's best for your child, and the rest of your family.

Here if you need me!

Robin

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1. Go to EXPERTS who can help your family with the OCD issues.

 

2. Get counseling for the family from someone who has a record of success. You may want to take your time and find the right one for your family.

 

3. Stop hitting the kid and stop hating the kid. When I read your posts it appears that hate and self-righteousness are being used to fill the wounds of a troubling situation. As someone has already said, this can be a self-fulfilling prophecy.

 

4. Let the kid go out and see 'his world' a bit. The first thing I thought of when I read up on all the Star Wars hobbies is that maybe, perhaps, the kid would love Dragoncon. Some kids need to drill deep before they get tired of a given subject and move on to something else. Let him drill deep and challenge his mind a bit. There is an old saying that, "Idle hands are a devil's hands." and rarely is this more true than a kid who is deprived of pursuing the very things he loves.

 

I could be wrong. I apologize if I offended you in any way. But both of you need a productive activity that the two of you can enjoy together. Better yet, find three of them. Repair the relationship and get off the high horse of always judging the kid. At 10, he's not even halfway there yet.

 

Good luck!

Edited by Steven Lang
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Mr.Dis,

 

I spent five years teaching SEBD (Severe Emotional Behavior Disorder) children and two years as a counselor in a locked juvenile residential treatment facility. I have seen children act in ways that would blow the minds of most. I have also helped many of those children learn to cope and adjust to living otherwise normal lives.

 

I don't have all of the answers, however, feel free to PM me if you would like to talk. I will be happy to offer any advice/direction I can; you would be surprised the difference a few proven behavior modification techniques can make.

 

 

 

-sat

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Again, the printer is what brought on the punishment in question. So many here are focused on trying to fix that problem.Tthe main question of this post was do the Pcom folks think that not giving him his Birthday present and not allowing a party with his friends was too much of a punishment? He will still get a cake with his family and a dinner of his choice. And family means only those in our home. The rest of the family was going to be gone anyway but we were going to do a friends party. Gifts from the relatives will still be given as arrangements were made prior to their leaving town. The point we were trying to make was that actions have consequenses. Because dad had to once again buy new ink, that cost will now be covered by the cost of his gift. And the party was cancelled due to blatant disobedience.

 

 

Personally, I think punishing him by jacking up his birthday is something that will stick with him through adulthood. I'm not saying that in some sort of psychologist, "how do you feel about that" kind of way but rather that, as adults, we have an easier time remembering childhood special occasions, especially those marred by a bad memory or boosted by a great memory.

 

In the short-term, I'm fearful that by doing this you're going to do nothing more than increase his animosity toward you and cause him to act out like you've never seen before. I mean I know little about ODD but, by it's very definition, I'd have to believe that an increase in authoritative behavior by you and your wife would do nothing but intensify his opposition. I'd venture to say that half the reason the printer is so important to him has less to do with making paper dolls than it does pissing you off and getting your attention.

 

mrnn

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Personally, I think punishing him by jacking up his birthday is something that will stick with him through adulthood. I'm not saying that in some sort of psychologist, "how do you feel about that" kind of way but rather that, as adults, we have an easier time remembering childhood special occasions, especially those marred by a bad memory or boosted by a great memory.

 

In the short-term, I'm fearful that by doing this you're going to do nothing more than increase his animosity toward you and cause him to act out like you've never seen before. I mean I know little about ODD but, by it's very definition, I'd have to believe that an increase in authoritative behavior by you and your wife would do nothing but intensify his opposition. I'd venture to say that half the reason the printer is so important to him has less to do with making paper dolls than it does pissing you off and getting your attention.

 

mrnn

 

 

I understand the whole any attention is better than no attention concept. I have tried many different interests with him. Most wind up the same way. Not following rules (safety or by game design), Loss of interest, anger (his), material destruction. We tried soccer. Team sports are not well suited to his "ME" attitude. He always loved trains. I like them too so we tried Lionel Trains. That I determined was a set up for failure on my part. While he had the interest, he would not follow reasonable handling instructions and at $50 for a boxcar, I was unwilling to take the risk. I did take them away but offered an HO scale in its place. That was demolished before it was even set up. I had to go to work day after purchase and it was utterly destroyed when I returned. Although we did spend hours playing with Thomas and GEO Traxx trains that he out grew. Scouting was a bust. He has to actually work to advance and that did not set well with him. All he wanted to do was go play with the other boys. When it came to the pinewood derby, he was to help me with his car but he was nowhere to be found. He went behind the shop and was building Army man forts. The actual race was a mixed revue. He was very upset that "his" car did poorly but it did when best in show for his class. He later got mad and threw that trophy and broke it. I tried getting them into riding 4 wheelers. Now that is just something that is up his alley. Unfortunately, his lack of adhearance to the safety rules resulted in a busted up 4 wheeler and no more riding. I am still in hopes that we will ride again in the near future even though. As to safety and rules. He knows how to ride, we spent a lot of time going over the basics of control. He has a big problem with riding safely. We were riding single file and he was leading my daughter next then me. That was great but when it was her turn to lead he immediately became angry and since he could not go around he simply rammed her from behind wrecking her and causing minor damage to both units. He lost the privledge and had it restored last spring. took him out behind the concrete plant across the RR tracks at Metromont. So the rules of riding were again gone over and agreed to. If you can imagine the survey mounds in the open area that is where he went wrong. I started him out first and reminded him specifically NO JUMPING. Since that was one of the last comments he made while in the truck. I got sister started on her's just in time to se him approach a 3' high mound and roll up to it and stop. I knew what he was going to do and immediately yelled for him to STOP and began running towards him. He looks right at me and turns around and guns it, jumps over the mound to a height of 6' and lands flat on his back and the tail of the for wheeler which rolled on top of him. I checked him for injuries and noted a few bruises and little else. We do make them wear safety equipment. his 4 wheeler did not fair as well. It sustained some minor suspension damage and a busted up shroud on the back end. He had alread jumped into a tree last year coming out of a ditch busting up the front end. That was not his fault per se, he was learning to negotiate a ditch and gave too much throttle causing the wreck. So it is now pretty much unridable. I do have a new shroud and have fixed the suspension so hopefully next year might work better. We play video games together that he likes as well as other things. This evening he wanted to throw the Frisbee and we did that for about an hour. So i do things with him as long as he behaves. When he starts to misbehave or not follow rules, I stop. Mostly to set a precedent. no one plays with you when you cheat, disregard rules or act ugly.

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I understand the whole any attention is better than no attention concept. I have tried many different interests with him. Most wind up the same way. Not following rules (safety or by game design), Loss of interest, anger (his), material destruction. We tried soccer. Team sports are not well suited to his "ME" attitude. He always loved trains. I like them too so we tried Lionel Trains. That I determined was a set up for failure on my part. While he had the interest, he would not follow reasonable handling instructions and at $50 for a boxcar, I was unwilling to take the risk. I did take them away but offered an HO scale in its place. That was demolished before it was even set up. I had to go to work day after purchase and it was utterly destroyed when I returned. Although we did spend hours playing with Thomas and GEO Traxx trains that he out grew. Scouting was a bust. He has to actually work to advance and that did not set well with him. All he wanted to do was go play with the other boys. When it came to the pinewood derby, he was to help me with his car but he was nowhere to be found. He went behind the shop and was building Army man forts. The actual race was a mixed revue. He was very upset that "his" car did poorly but it did when best in show for his class. He later got mad and threw that trophy and broke it. I tried getting them into riding 4 wheelers. Now that is just something that is up his alley. Unfortunately, his lack of adhearance to the safety rules resulted in a busted up 4 wheeler and no more riding. I am still in hopes that we will ride again in the near future even though. As to safety and rules. He knows how to ride, we spent a lot of time going over the basics of control. He has a big problem with riding safely. We were riding single file and he was leading my daughter next then me. That was great but when it was her turn to lead he immediately became angry and since he could not go around he simply rammed her from behind wrecking her and causing minor damage to both units. He lost the privledge and had it restored last spring. took him out behind the concrete plant across the RR tracks at Metromont. So the rules of riding were again gone over and agreed to. If you can imagine the survey mounds in the open area that is where he went wrong. I started him out first and reminded him specifically NO JUMPING. Since that was one of the last comments he made while in the truck. I got sister started on her's just in time to se him approach a 3' high mound and roll up to it and stop. I knew what he was going to do and immediately yelled for him to STOP and began running towards him. He looks right at me and turns around and guns it, jumps over the mound to a height of 6' and lands flat on his back and the tail of the for wheeler which rolled on top of him. I checked him for injuries and noted a few bruises and little else. We do make them wear safety equipment. his 4 wheeler did not fair as well. It sustained some minor suspension damage and a busted up shroud on the back end. He had alread jumped into a tree last year coming out of a ditch busting up the front end. That was not his fault per se, he was learning to negotiate a ditch and gave too much throttle causing the wreck. So it is now pretty much unridable. I do have a new shroud and have fixed the suspension so hopefully next year might work better. We play video games together that he likes as well as other things. This evening he wanted to throw the Frisbee and we did that for about an hour. So i do things with him as long as he behaves. When he starts to misbehave or not follow rules, I stop. Mostly to set a precedent. no one plays with you when you cheat, disregard rules or act ugly.

 

Sounds like he's 100% boy, that's for sure!

 

I wasn't implying that you ignore him unless he's in trouble, Dis....I apologize if my post came across that way. My point was simply that if he feeds on opposition to authority then it only stands to reason that he recognizes that you show the most authority when he does something he knows is wrong....almost as if it's a challenge. Of course, as I mentioned, I know very little about ODD so I'm pretty much talking out of my ass :p but, you asked for opinions and the armchair psychologist in me thinks that your son feeds on your anger. Taking a bold step like taking away birthday gifts from an 11 year old could really up the ante in the showdown between the two of you if he takes it as a cue of "game on".

 

mrnn

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Sounds like he's 100% boy, that's for sure!

 

I wasn't implying that you ignore him unless he's in trouble, Dis....I apologize if my post came across that way. My point was simply that if he feeds on opposition to authority then it only stands to reason that he recognizes that you show the most authority when he does something he knows is wrong....almost as if it's a challenge. Of course, as I mentioned, I know very little about ODD so I'm pretty much talking out of my ass :p but, you asked for opinions and the armchair psychologist in me thinks that your son feeds on your anger. Taking a bold step like taking away birthday gifts from an 11 year old could really up the ante in the showdown between the two of you if he takes it as a cue of "game on".

 

mrnn

 

 

NP , I did kinda ramble on. Got to thinking about what SL said and it just kind came out in my reply to you. A multi-reply with out the multi-poster reference if you will.:drinks:

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He will still get a cake with his family and a dinner of his choice. And family means only those in our home. The rest of the family was going to be gone anyway but we were going to do a friends party. Gifts from the relatives will still be given as arrangements were made prior to their leaving town. The point we were trying to make was that actions have consequenses. Because dad had to once again buy new ink, that cost will now be covered by the cost of his gift. And the party was cancelled due to blatant disobedience.

 

I think kids need to know there is a household budget....and most purchases mean there were two or three other things that are no longer an option to purchase.

 

Most families have a set amount of money - once used; one must wait to save more before the next "want" can be fulfilled.

 

I would go with your plan. Also, I recently heard about Michael Phelps...perhaps you and Snow White have too.

 

Just a thought - swimming there is little that can be destroyed, no powerful engines to propel one to ones death - or over a three foot jump! :pardon:

 

Michael Phelps ADHD is not an attention deficit

<snip>

Many people have no idea that Michael Phelps has ADHD, yet he hasn’t kept it a secret. In an August 13, 2008 TimesOnline article, his mother is quoted as saying, “In kindergarten I was told by his teacher, ‘Michael can’t sit still, Michael can’t be quiet, Michael can’t focus.’ I said, maybe he’s bored. The teacher said that was impossible. “He’s not gifted,” came back the reply. “Your son will never be able to focus on anything.”( Bold by Far West) How many people with ADHD are told just that – you’ll never be able to focus on anything! Obviously after Michael Phelps’s summer of 2008 performance, it’s clear that ADHD does not have to stop you from focusing on and reaching your dreams.

http://www.edgefoundation.org/blog/2008/08/15/michael-phelpss-adhd-is-not-an-attention-deficit/

 

Look at how persistent Dis Jr is - that IS a fine skill...just not about using up all the ink making copies. ...If you can find another thing he is passionate about that will enrich his life.... I know it is not easy (and I know there is more than just the ADHD)... keep looking. :wub:

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NP , I did kinda ramble on. Got to thinking about what SL said and it just kind came out in my reply to you. A multi-reply with out the multi-poster reference if you will.:drinks:

 

I am still leaning towards an Asperger's diagnosis.. the hyper focus is ridiculous! be it a printer, a car, a tv show, cartoon, etc.. wish I had a quick fix but I don't. We both have experienced what doesn't work.. I am praying that time will help.. Also, jsyk.. Church and TaeKwando are both very helpful for my son.. though I recognize and appreciate not all children respond the same... :)

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I think kids need to know there is a household budget....and most purchases mean there were two or three other things that are no longer an option to purchase.

 

Most families have a set amount of money - once used; one must wait to save more before the next "want" can be fulfilled.

 

I would go with your plan. Also, I recently heard about Michael Phelps...perhaps you and Snow White have too.

 

Just a thought - swimming there is little that can be destroyed, no powerful engines to propel one to ones death - or over a three foot jump! :pardon:

 

Michael Phelps ADHD is not an attention deficit

<snip>

Many people have no idea that Michael Phelps has ADHD, yet he hasn’t kept it a secret. In an August 13, 2008 TimesOnline article, his mother is quoted as saying, “In kindergarten I was told by his teacher, ‘Michael can’t sit still, Michael can’t be quiet, Michael can’t focus.’ I said, maybe he’s bored. The teacher said that was impossible. “He’s not gifted,” came back the reply. “Your son will never be able to focus on anything.”( Bold by Far West) How many people with ADHD are told just that – you’ll never be able to focus on anything! Obviously after Michael Phelps’s summer of 2008 performance, it’s clear that ADHD does not have to stop you from focusing on and reaching your dreams.

http://www.edgefoundation.org/blog/2008/08/15/michael-phelpss-adhd-is-not-an-attention-deficit/

 

Look at how persistent Dis Jr is - that IS a fine skill...just not about using up all the ink making copies. ...If you can find another thing he is passionate about that will enrich his life.... I know it is not easy (and I know there is more than just the ADHD)... keep looking. :wub:

 

Michael Phelps self medicates with pot.

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I think kids need to know there is a household budget....and most purchases mean there were two or three other things that are no longer an option to purchase.

 

Most families have a set amount of money - once used; one must wait to save more before the next "want" can be fulfilled.

 

I would go with your plan. Also, I recently heard about Michael Phelps...perhaps you and Snow White have too.

 

Just a thought - swimming there is little that can be destroyed, no powerful engines to propel one to ones death - or over a three foot jump! :pardon:

 

Michael Phelps ADHD is not an attention deficit

Many people have no idea that Michael Phelps has ADHD, yet he hasn't kept it a secret. In an August 13, 2008 TimesOnline article, his mother is quoted as saying, "In kindergarten I was told by his teacher, 'Michael can't sit still, Michael can't be quiet, Michael can't focus.' I said, maybe he's bored. The teacher said that was impossible. "He's not gifted," came back the reply. "Your son will never be able to focus on anything."( Bold by Far West) How many people with ADHD are told just that – you'll never be able to focus on anything! Obviously after Michael Phelps's summer of 2008 performance, it's clear that ADHD does not have to stop you from focusing on and reaching your dreams.

http://www.edgefound...ention-deficit/

 

Look at how persistent Dis Jr is - that IS a fine skill...just not about using up all the ink making copies. ...If you can find another thing he is passionate about that will enrich his life.... I know it is not easy (and I know there is more than just the ADHD)... keep looking. :wub:

 

That is exactly what I keep saying. If I could only channel his energies for good then we would have something amazing. :pardon:

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Again, the printer is what brought on the punishment in question. So many here are focused on trying to fix that problem.Tthe main question of this post was do the Pcom folks think that not giving him his Birthday present and not allowing a party with his friends was too much of a punishment? He will still get a cake with his family and a dinner of his choice. And family means only those in our home. The rest of the family was going to be gone anyway but we were going to do a friends party. Gifts from the relatives will still be given as arrangements were made prior to their leaving town. The point we were trying to make was that actions have consequenses. Because dad had to once again buy new ink, that cost will now be covered by the cost of his gift. And the party was cancelled due to blatant disobedience.

 

Dis,

I, too have followed your posts and I keep your whole family in my prayers. What I bolded above: Here's my answer. Take back his gift and give him two ink cartridges (one black & one color). Tell him those are HIS to copy or print how he wants and when it's out, it's out. Maybe he'll get more for Christmas. I'm with those who say "lock up the ink" when not in use. If that means taking it to the station, then take it with you. I don't feel you are saying that you will ignore his birthday. I totally agree with the cancelled party (that's a privilage, one that cost $$ and should be a reward, not a right). I also agree with the dinner and cake with only family. His special day is still acknowledged, but he's not given "extra" unless he earns it.

 

As for your feelings about your son. I feel your love in your words. I feel the frustration and I also feel the desperation. You want so badly to get him help and I have read repeatedly about how much effort you've put into to seeking appropriate help for him. Despite the need to vent once in a while, which EVERY parent needs to do, you are an AWESOME dad and your son is very lucky to have someone continue to fight for him...even through the exhaustion. What I take away from your posts is not that you wish he wasn't born, but that you wish you didn't have these problems. That is a legitimate and healthy thought, especially with what you're going through on a daily basis. I have two special needs kids, one has behavioral issues (but "easier", but that's not a good word for it) and many times I admit to myself that this is not the life I wanted....but it's the life I have. It took me a very long time to accept it, and another long time for me to be happy about it. I am not the same person I was five years ago and while I don't handle every situation perfectly, I have absolutely no regrets. I am praying for you AND your son to reach that place of peace. Soon. Until then, hang in there and keep fighting for your family. We'll keep praying for you.

 

It seems like the decisions you face are hard ones, but neccessary. I wish you and your family success, healing, and peace.

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I have no advice for you, I personally have never had to deal with what you are going through, but i can tell by your post and not just this one you are trying what you have to try.. parents are not given a hand book when a child is born, we learn as we go... and having a child with issues does not make it any easier. you get to a point where you just want to throw your hands in the air and say I give up... but as a parent you know you can not do that.

 

I know that as a parent we sometimes have to make decisions that are heart breaking, putting your son in a place that can help him, and at the same time restore your family maybe the best thing to do at this point.

 

I really hope that your son and your family can find some peace with this issue and your son gets the help he needs.. what that help is? I guess you just need to keep trying until you find out what is best for him.

 

Good Luck

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I'm not certain, but If I take the ink out. the cartrides and the inkjets will dry out. That would at the least render the cartridges useless. That is why I haven't done that. I do not if I mentioned it but I did take the power cable away but he found another one to use.

 

 

With HP printers, you can remove the cartridges and place them in a ziploc bag. As a teacher, we had to take the cartriges out at the end of the year and store them. The HP reps said that the inkjets would be fine.

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Michael Phelps self medicates with pot.

:rofl:

 

True...

 

Ironically I was told by a physiologist once that many with ADHD, who are not diagnosed, do end up "self medicating" ... not always the best way to have a productive society... :pardon:

 

My ADHD child had pain medication for wisdom teeth removal, and was bouncing off the walls. It would have put most people to sleep ... for days... not him. Wonder how Phelps acts with pot?

 

Speed- Ritalin- improves concentration and slows down ADD/ADHD ... what would pot do?

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:rofl:

 

True...

 

Ironically I was told by a physiologist once that many with ADHD, who are not diagnosed, do end up "self medicating" ... not always the best way to have a productive society... :pardon:

 

My ADHD child had pain medication for wisdom teeth removal, and was bouncing off the walls. It would have put most people to sleep ... for days... not him. Wonder how Phelps acts with pot?

 

Speed- Ritalin- improves concentration and slows down ADD/ADHD ... what would pot do?

 

 

 

That made me think of this episode of WKRP in Cincinatti. Fever Vs Venus on a reflex timer from sober to drunk. I can't find a compilation video of just their scenes so you can watch the entire episode here

 

http://www.hulu.com/watch/290:drinks:

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Buy his gift wrap it and give it to him on his birthday as any parent should do. Once he opens it get into the car and make him return it. And have him explain to the clerk he doesnt listen and now has to pay for printer cartridges. The only other thing to save cartridges is hide them in your car. I would also take all of his copies and burn them or cut them up. My oldest son was very much like this. He is now in college on Hope scholarship and Deans list. its a LOOOOOOONG road but hang in there

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That made me think of this episode of WKRP in Cincinatti. Fever Vs Venus on a reflex timer from sober to drunk. I can't find a compilation video of just their scenes so you can watch the entire episode here

 

http://www.hulu.com/watch/290:drinks:

Cute... :D

 

 

 

This is impossible!!!! ...This test has been given to hundreds of people NO ONE EVER got BETTER!

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Barry and AP, I have locked it away in another room. He defeated the regular locking knobs so I swapped to Keyed. He can now defeat those (it really isn't hard) in a minute or 2. All he wants is the copy function anyway and he doesn't need a computer to do that.

 

And to all, Thanks very much for your assistance and help. It does seem that we have put this monster to rest now. He has not touched it since the begining of this topic even though it is right there in the dining room. Yes our dining room seems to be a catchall area for us. We seldom use it as we eat in the kitchen. I am very proud of him.:drinks: I think it has been about a week now with not a single attempt made. But he does still think he is getting a gift.:rolleyes: He saw his Kreo Sideswipe transformer (plundering again) and keeps asking for it. NO is the only answer he will get. I will not make him return it (I thought that might be a little on the mean side) and I found it on clearance and would rather give it as a Christmas gift than return it. So now the question is where to hide it? I'm thinking my neighbor's house is best. He has plundered at both Grandparents and our house. I'm here to tell you NOTHING can stand between that boy and what he wants, even if he doesn't know what he wants and he is just looking to see what he can find.:rolleyes:

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I didnt read all of the replies, but i can understand the impulse. I have a difficult time with creative impulses, if i get an idea, or am simply bored, it is difficult to resist the urge to create something. in my case i usually end up painting. you could try encouraging him to simply draw what he is wanting to print, he would be involved in the process for a longer period of time and it may help as an outlet for him. he would only be using pens, pencils and paper which is inexpensive. i would be careful that he understands he is being punished for using the ink without permission as opposed to being punished for what he is doing with it. if that makes sense. for me a creative outlet is absolutely necessary, it really is similar to a disorder, i will find myself wandering (pacing) around the house just itching for something to do with my hands.

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I think LGM is a wealth of information when it comes to some of the issues your dealing with. Obviously, since she's going through the same situation.

 

As far as the birthday party with friends, I think cake with family only, would be appropriate. JMHO

 

Love and hugs to you and your family, this takes it's toll on everyone. All you can do is keep trying. :wub:

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Wow Mr. Dis. All i can say is that we're all here for you if you just want to vent every once in a while.

 

You already realize that you're trying to destroy the bad behavior and not the good kid. He sounds like an impulsive hands-on type of kid who needs boundaries. Just keep on fighting the fight and, when needed, find professionals who can help you navigate through the truly rough spots.

 

 

All the best!

Edited by Steven Lang
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