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Wow. Let me know if you need volunteers. I will GLADLY kick you in the nuts for this statement.     And his father wishes he was never born...so he has that going for him too.

You are aware that you can celebrate birthday's without parties, gifts, etc. RIGHT? Life is about consequences. It's a shame he has to learn a lesson at that age, but it won't scar him. They don't

Could you maybe buy him his own little printer and make him work for the money to buy more ink? I've never met your kid but it sounds like he might have some obsessive compulsive tendencies with the p

i kind of touched on it in the above post....

 

and i'm not trying to be aggressively offensive. you and your wife are not capable of raising this child, not in the capacity that you've shown so far. that's been made clear by your numerous posts.

your son is completely different than your daughter. your son is not ok. your son is a danger to himself and your family.

expecting your son to behave/learn/respond like other 'normal' children is completely unrealistic. yet you're doing nothing out of the norm to compensate for his mental/behavioural issues.

this is setting him up for failure.

Wow, this is a really good post even though it's a sad one. I think you hit the nail on the head, but as a parent this is a last resort. But it seems from previous posts that there is nothing left to do. Not a good situation to be in.

 

I also question the amount of unsupervised time he has on his hands. It's takes more than a minute or two to unlock or jimmy doors, get something to climb on, climb on it, get the said printer, lug it down, set it up and start printing. I know what 5th grader is doing at all times, maybe our house id just smaller and the commotion would alert me.

Edited by momof 3
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Buy a safe. You can get one for under $200 at Lowe's or Home Depot. Take the ink cartridge out of the printer and put it in the safe where he can't get to it. You can use the safe for other things so it's not as if you would be purchasing it just to store print cartridges. Besides, if you are going through alot of ink cartridges, it will pay for itself in no time. I have a floor model at home that cost me around $150 and I use it for a ton of things.

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Do NOT take advice from pcommers. Just trust me on that one. Go to the professionals. Please.

 

I have a decent network of orgs that have worked with troubled youth, I am happy to try and connect you? Don't go this alone.

 

 

The only advice I asked for here was

 

1. Was taking his birthday gift and party away too strong? (he had not recieved the gift yet)

2. I aske LGM what programs she liked for her daughter.

 

I always take all advice and analyze it for my own use. I never blindly accept advice even from my own family. The last time I did (with family) I lost out on a potentially lucrative ROI after Delta went into bankruptcy and I wanted to buy lots of $1 shares. Oh well.

 

Thanks for you offer and concern

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locking rooms with keyed locks, padlocking others. moving dangerous items to relatives homes, never leaving him alone without adult for more than brief periods and always having an adult present when he is at home. Monthy doctor appointments, medication, placement in special classes. Realizing that corporal punishment has only limeted affect on him and always searching for a new leverage point. Encouraging good behavior with specific rewards taylored just to him. (where do you think this printer thing started? By allowing him to print pages for him to color. That being one of his best loved rewards. It unfortunately came back to bite us in the @$$ later on) Those are not going out of the "norm" trying to compensate for his needs.

 

 

I never stated I was a professional with this stuff. I will say that I have done more, studied more, paid more than most of you would ever guess. And if we determine it to be in his best interest to be institutionalized then there will be no arguement nor regrets from me. As long as he gets the help he needs to become a healthy, productive citizen then I will happy.

 

 

Did you mention he was at Nebo? I ask for the fact Mr. Murry is the SEBD teacher. He is fantastic! If Dis jr. has him this year, ask him for help and suggestions.

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It won't let me quote you, for some reason. dry.gif

 

HR sees Dr. Davillier at EP Pediatrics - she's an absolute godsend, but she's also been with us since Nev was about 2.5. She wasn't there for the initial evaluation, but she was there when HR was older and things started getting harder. We do only see her once a month for the medication appointment and, if there are *any* other issues throughout the month, we're always free to call and see her.

 

Dr. Davillier hooked us up with our team of doctors. HR has an allergist, behavioral therapist/ADHD psychologist, neurologist, psychiatrist, and a couple other doctors. Some of those won't apply to Dis, Jr - like possibly the allergist. We discovered that HR has a *high* allergy to over a dozen foods, but she doesn't have an anaphylactic reaction like most people. You should have seen her back when they did the test....it looked like she had been attacked by bees or had the measles. Her doctors said that many people are like this...they have a reaction that isn't visible inside of the body somewhere. Hers is in her brain, which is where all of her other disorders are located. We removed the allergens, and many of her behavioral issues stopped, as did her tics. You'd never guess she has tourettes. If she puts cow's milk (one of her allergies) in her breakfast four or five days in a row, though, the tics come back and some of her behavioral issues resume. You might look into having an allergy panel done. It definitely doesn't hurt (well, much) to give it a shot. If you decide to go that route, we use these people: http://www.caageorgia.com/

 

At minimum, I would get him to a psychologist that handles behavior disorders. Dr. Dudley in Acworth is amazing - he's the one who gave HR her final diagnosis of ODD, OCD and Anxiety Disorder. She has come leaps and bounds in the year we've been seeing him. You may need a referral from the pediatrician.

http://www.atlantapsych.com/services

 

For Psychiatrists, we're set up with this guy: http://www.docloch.com/

We only saw him a couple of times, because we did the allergy panel right around the same time and most of her behavioral issues went away. He was awesome, though, and HR still goes in for occasional appointments just to stay up-to-date with him.

 

I doubt he would need a neurologist. Even if he did, I wouldn't suggest ours...he tried to put my kid on klonopin and valium. We're shopping for a new one.

 

Like I said before, it isn't easy. At all. It's worth it, though. HR has 2-3 times weekly allergy shots, weekly appointments with the behavior specialist, did have weekly with the psychiatrist, on top of monthly check ups with three other doctors and then a whole team of help at school because she's behind. She is, however, doing amazingly. The past year has been one of the hardest in my life (she was dignosed with all but the SPD and speech last July), but she has come so far that most can't even tell she has any kind of disorder, much less eight of them. ♥

Edited by LGM
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Wow, this is a really good post even though it's a sad one. I think you hit the nail on the head, but as a parent this is a last resort. But it seems from previous posts that there is nothing left to do. Not a good situation to be in.

 

I also question the amount of unsupervised time he has on his hands. It's takes more than a minute or two to unlock or jimmy doors, get something to climb on, climb on it, get the said printer, lug it down, set it up and start printing. I know what 5th grader is doing at all times, maybe our house id just smaller and the commotion would alert me.

 

You would be surprised. He can "slip" a latch in about 1-2 min. These are interior not exterior doors. As for the printer 200 pages will deplete the ink and all he has to do is plug it in for the copy function.

 

And in case ya'll are wondering he is watching TV right now.:rolleyes:

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Have you tried password protecting the computer(s) and only allowing him access when he can be supervised?

 

Could you use printouts (instead of "gold stars" or money) as rewards for good behavior and chores? Wait until the week is done before letting him print. So if he earns 20 during the week, he can print all 20 on Saturday... and will have to choose wisely which ones he wants to print. It sounds like he could use a controlled creative outlet.

 

Have you looked into buying a printer with more economically priced cartridges? I know there's a Kodak printer that has cartridges that run $10-15. I believe the printers run about $100.

 

Do you have a friend or neighbor who could keep the cartridges for you? I know it's a pain in the butt, but it beats driving to the store to BUY new ones.

 

Do you know why he enjoys doing this? Is it the coloring itself... or watching a blank sheet of paper be transformed into something new? Does he sit and watch the printer as the paper starts coming out with ink on it? If it's primarily the coloring, get him some coloring books.

Here's 400 coloring pages for $6: Coloring Book

If he is artistic, there are also books that teach kids how to draw Star Wars characters: Drawing Book

There are lots to choose from: Star Wars Books

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Did you mention he was at Nebo? I ask for the fact Mr. Murry is the SEBD teacher. He is fantastic! If Dis jr. has him this year, ask him for help and suggestions.

I second that regarding Michael Murray. My son was in his class for 5 years at Nebo. He was the best teacher for my son. Although my son did not have behaviour issues, he needed a small group, consistent approach to teaching. He got that with Mr. Murray. He is not a warm fuzzy, everything will be OK type of teacher. He is honest, straight forward and if you don't want the truth, you better not ask him. My son was part of the Northwest Georgia Educaton Program. Ask about it, they might be able to help you.

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All the therapy, doctors, and medication in the world can't fix broken parents.

 

That's tr sad truth of it.

 

So many parents underestimate the value of modeling.

 

Again, good luck mr. Dis. I somehow doubt taking away more displays of love will work, but what do I know?

Edited by dumbestgirlintheworld
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It won't let me quote you, for some reason. dry.gif

 

HR sees Dr. Davillier at EP Pediatrics - she's an absolute godsend, but she's also been with us since Nev was about 2.5. She wasn't there for the initial evaluation, but she was there when HR was older and things started getting harder. We do only see her once a month for the medication appointment and, if there are *any* other issues throughout the month, we're always free to call and see her.

 

Dr. Davillier hooked us up with our team of doctors. HR has an allergist, behavioral therapist/ADHD psychologist, neurologist, psychiatrist, and a couple other doctors. Some of those won't apply to Dis, Jr - like possibly the allergist. We discovered that HR has a *high* allergy to over a dozen foods, but she doesn't have an anaphylactic reaction like most people. You should have seen her back when they did the test....it looked like she had been attacked by bees or had the measles. Her doctors said that many people are like this...they have a reaction that isn't visible inside of the body somewhere. Hers is in her brain, which is where all of her other disorders are located. We removed the allergens, and many of her behavioral issues stopped, as did her tics. You'd never guess she has tourettes. If she puts cow's milk (one of her allergies) in her breakfast four or five days in a row, though, the tics come back and some of her behavioral issues resume. You might look into having an allergy panel done. It definitely doesn't hurt (well, much) to give it a shot. If you decide to go that route, we use these people: http://www.caageorgia.com/

 

At minimum, I would get him to a psychologist that handles behavior disorders. Dr. Dudley in Acworth is amazing - he's the one who gave HR her final diagnosis of ODD, OCD and Anxiety Disorder. She has come leaps and bounds in the year we've been seeing him. You may need a referral from the pediatrician.

http://www.atlantapsych.com/services

 

For Psychiatrists, we're set up with this guy: http://www.docloch.com/

We only saw him a couple of times, because we did the allergy panel right around the same time and most of her behavioral issues went away. He was awesome, though, and HR still goes in for occasional appointments just to stay up-to-date with him.

 

I doubt he would need a neurologist. Even if he did, I wouldn't suggest ours...he tried to put my kid on klonopin and valium. We're shopping for a new one.

 

Like I said before, it isn't easy. At all. It's worth it, though. HR has 2-3 times weekly allergy shots, weekly appointments with the behavior specialist, did have weekly with the psychiatrist, on top of monthly check ups with three other doctors and then a whole team of help at school because she's behind. She is, however, doing amazingly. The past year has been one of the hardest in my life (she was dignosed with all but the SPD and speech last July), but she has come so far that most can't even tell she has any kind of disorder, much less eight of them. ♥

 

 

He has an Allergist for his Eosonphillic Esophogitus. He is lactose intollerant and trying to pin down the allergen responsible for the EE is a royal pain. But we are already well versed in the dairy issues and he does not get dairy at home or school.

 

He has a Neurologist for his Chiari Malformation. he said his ODD / ADHD / OCD are not related to that. Ironically that was found because he had to have a MRI of his Pituitary gland for his Pediatric Endocrinologist for his growth hormones.

 

If it isn't 1 Dr. Appt. it is another.:wacko:

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Some of you folks have heard me talk about him and his defiance issues. One of "our" big problems is with printers. He LOVES to copy Star Wars stuff to color and play with. While I woud encourage his creativity we do have to balance that against the shear cost of doing this and the problems it creates. There have been multiple times where he has run a BRAND NEW cartridge out overnight. I buy a new one and go to work only to find it depleted when I get home. At $60 a set that adds up for just a bunch of "dolls". That is what he is basically doing, making figures to play with by copying them out of his books. That leads to cut paper everywhere, no printer paper and no ink when I need it. So we have ordered him to put a stop to this activity. He has continued to do it and gone through all levels of punishment. We have removed the printer's paper only to have him take some from school (yes it is stealing and was addressed) or find it here. we have removed the cables only to have him destroy the house looking for and finding them. We have removed the printer to multiple locations only to have him find it. We have locked it up. that has worked but he now knows how to defeat locks with a card. Well anyway, it has been fairly quite in this regard as of late and I thought we had finally worked through this. well yesterday I find out that was not the case. I had bought yet another set of cartridges and it appeared that he had not gotten into them. Well my wife needed the printer and I pulled it out of the last hiding place. When I brought it out he says it is out of ink. WHAT?!? Sure enough, he had used it all up again and hid the evidence to where we did not know. He had got it out and did the "damage" in the basement bathroom while we thought he was down there playing. So yet again, we need to print something and I first have to go buy new cartridges before we can start. Talk about blowing a gasket!! So I go get it and we do what has to be done. Now I have to figure out what to do about him. As you can see he just will not listen. He has experience all levels of punishment for this already especially since it is a recurring infraction. I just can not see beating him any harder than I already have and on multiple occasions. And yes this is even a primary issue when he goes to counseling for his behavior issues and his new school staff has already been made aware of the "no more printing" rules. His birthday is Sunday. I decided that since he has cost me yet another $60 for doing something that he is well aware is wrong and he will be punished for I will get creative. I have spent hundreds of dollars on ink cartridges over the last year or so. I told him that since he has again cost me money I do not have and should not have to spend, I wil just return his birthday present that I had already purchased. It seems fair to me. He immediately went balistic and pronounced me the "worst dad ever!!". Ahaa!! does that mean I finally got your attention on this? Now I fully intend to hold true to my word. No party, no gifts from us. My wife says it is wrong but I don't see it.

 

What do you guys think?

 

And CRB... before you try to butt in... Notice again, he has already been severly punished with a 2" leather belt on multiple occasions for this AND related actions so "beating him harder" just really is not an option. If that is all you got, then just stay out of this.:glare:

 

Military School works wonders.

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All the therapy, doctors, and medication in the world can't fix broken parents.

 

That's tr sad truth of it.

 

So many parents underestimate the value of modeling.

 

Again, good luck mr. Dis. I somehow doubt taking away more displays of love will work, but what do I know?

 

Displays of love? Are you refering to his party? He has always had them and I have never resorted to this tactic. At this point it just was very well timed for the issue. That being less than a week from the infraction to the party. It just seems reasonable. You "take" something against the rules after multiple corrections and knowing full well it is wrong, then you should loose / pay for it with something. In this case it could be argued that I gave him the print cartridges and paper for a gift of HIS choosing.:pardon:

 

Military School works wonders.

 

 

Not for these kids. It has been studied time and again, behavioral disorders are not the same as bad behavior. sending him to a military school would be setting him up for failure. I have researched this point in depth.

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First, if he is using a computer to set up these prints...lock the computer, put parental locks on the websites he is using.

 

Second, the next time he wants something..tell him you can't afford it due to the continuous purchases of ink and paper.

 

Obviously the taking of the printer and hiding it is not working, so now new motions.

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First, if he is using a computer to set up these prints...lock the computer, put parental locks on the websites he is using.

 

Second, the next time he wants something..tell him you can't afford it due to the continuous purchases of ink and paper.

 

Obviously the taking of the printer and hiding it is not working, so now new motions.

 

 

He is only using the copy function. no computer required. Turn on printer insert original push copy.:pardon:

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He has an Allergist for his Eosonphillic Esophogitus. He is lactose intollerant and trying to pin down the allergen responsible for the EE is a royal pain. But we are already well versed in the dairy issues and he does not get dairy at home or school.

 

He has a Neurologist for his Chiari Malformation. he said his ODD / ADHD / OCD are not related to that. Ironically that was found because he had to have a MRI of his Pituitary gland for his Pediatric Endocrinologist for his growth hormones.

 

If it isn't 1 Dr. Appt. it is another.:wacko:

 

Right? Last Summer/Fall my Mon-Friday week went doctor/class/doctor/class/doctor...every week! It was worth it, though. Nev has had multiple MRI's over her pituitary and pineal glands - neither function correctly. Her body doesn't produce melatonin as it should, but it compensates by overproducing hormones. She's seven, and has started puberty. mellow.gif

 

Have you tried removing all allergens and then introducing one at a time for a few weeks at a time? Nev came back allergic to citrus and tomatoes, but when we introduced them for three weeks, nothing changed. She's happy she can still have orange juice and spaghetti.

 

 

You mentioned play therapy - Dr. Dudley does play therapy. Nev's favorite thing to do with him is 'talk and play chess'. rolleyes.gif Whatever works! He also gives us lots and lots of advice and things to do at home. We've always been on schedules and routines, but the way we handle everything has been changed in some way in the past year. We have Nev and all of her issues, and then a 3 year old insulin-dependent diabetic. Everything is scheduled nearly to the minute, every bit of food is calculated and measured.

 

Have your or Mrs. tried one on one time with him? That helps her alot as well. We read a story together, alone, every night. During summer we go to the pool a few times a week together (just me and her, or OH and her) or one of us takes her hiking. She gets lots of positive attention, so she seeks much less negative. Also, if she's hiking, swimming, or reading, she can't get into the paper.. biggrin.gif ..which she now uses to draw instead of eat, very similarly to Dis, Jr. and his printing. We can go through a ream of paper in a day, with her and her markers. Drawing is theraputic to her, though, so the printing/doll making may be theraputic to Dis, Jr. - you just need to find something theraputic that doesn't cost you an arm and a leg. We let her draw for 30 minutes before dinner.

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While I am not a professional therapist, I did stay in a Holiday Inn last night and that means I am qualified to say this:

 

God Bless and keep working the professionals who stayed at school and not a hotel to learn about how to deal with these problems.

Edited by stradial
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It's easier to take the INK out of the printer instead of moving and hiding the printer

 

 

:drinks:

 

 

Get a printer that doesn't make copies? They are really cheap these days.

 

 

 

Genius ideas for short term, but both of them are temporary fixes for a bigger issue. If he has ODD and OCD (I'd say he does, just from my experience with them), there will be another compulsive activity or habit after this one. The 'fix' would be to address the issue, and the issue is within Dis Jr., not the printer.

 

 

p.s. GeorgiaTornado - I laughed out loud when I read your post. I didn't even consider that. I would have hidden the whole thing, too! blush.gif

Though, with his rage issues, I would be scared that Dis Jr. would take his lack-of-ink (or lack of copier, if they got a new printer) frustration out on the printer itself.

Then they'd have to buy new ink, and a new printer (again).

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You would be surprised. He can "slip" a latch in about 1-2 min. These are interior not exterior doors. As for the printer 200 pages will deplete the ink and all he has to do is plug it in for the copy function.

 

And in case ya'll are wondering he is watching TV right now.:rolleyes:

Bless your heart, I have no great advice for you. It scares me for your child and even for your family. :(

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Genius ideas for short term, but both of them are temporary fixes for a bigger issue. If he has ODD and OCD (I'd say he does, just from my experience with them), there will be another compulsive activity or habit after this one. The 'fix' would be to address the issue, and the issue is within Dis Jr., not the printer.

 

 

p.s. GeorgiaTornado - I laughed out loud when I read your post. I didn't even consider that. I would have hidden the whole thing, too! blush.gif

Though, with his rage issues, I would be scared that Dis Jr. would take his lack-of-ink (or lack of copier, if they got a new printer) frustration out on the printer itself.

Then they'd have to buy new ink, and a new printer (again).

I certainly realize the the issue is much deeper than the printer... and this would not fix the root of the problem. But I also think it wouldn't hurt to get the non-copying printer and make sure the child knows WHY there is no longer a copier and that because of his behavior, he will no longer have the ability to make copies. Actions and consequences. The other consequences didn't seem to phase him. Apparently, making copies is something that matters to him.

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It's easier to take the INK out of the printer instead of moving and hiding the printer

 

 

:drinks:

 

 

I'm not certain, but If I take the ink out. the cartrides and the inkjets will dry out. That would at the least render the cartridges useless. That is why I haven't done that. I do not if I mentioned it but I did take the power cable away but he found another one to use.

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Some of you folks have heard me talk about him and his defiance issues. One of "our" big problems is with printers. He LOVES to copy Star Wars stuff to color and play with. While I woud encourage his creativity we do have to balance that against the shear cost of doing this and the problems it creates. There have been multiple times where he has run a BRAND NEW cartridge out overnight. I buy a new one and go to work only to find it depleted when I get home. At $60 a set that adds up for just a bunch of "dolls". That is what he is basically doing, making figures to play with by copying them out of his books. That leads to cut paper everywhere, no printer paper and no ink when I need it. So we have ordered him to put a stop to this activity. He has continued to do it and gone through all levels of punishment. We have removed the printer's paper only to have him take some from school (yes it is stealing and was addressed) or find it here. we have removed the cables only to have him destroy the house looking for and finding them. We have removed the printer to multiple locations only to have him find it. We have locked it up. that has worked but he now knows how to defeat locks with a card. Well anyway, it has been fairly quite in this regard as of late and I thought we had finally worked through this. well yesterday I find out that was not the case. I had bought yet another set of cartridges and it appeared that he had not gotten into them. Well my wife needed the printer and I pulled it out of the last hiding place. When I brought it out he says it is out of ink. WHAT?!? Sure enough, he had used it all up again and hid the evidence to where we did not know. He had got it out and did the "damage" in the basement bathroom while we thought he was down there playing. So yet again, we need to print something and I first have to go buy new cartridges before we can start. Talk about blowing a gasket!! So I go get it and we do what has to be done. Now I have to figure out what to do about him. As you can see he just will not listen. He has experience all levels of punishment for this already especially since it is a recurring infraction. I just can not see beating him any harder than I already have and on multiple occasions. And yes this is even a primary issue when he goes to counseling for his behavior issues and his new school staff has already been made aware of the "no more printing" rules. His birthday is Sunday. I decided that since he has cost me yet another $60 for doing something that he is well aware is wrong and he will be punished for I will get creative. I have spent hundreds of dollars on ink cartridges over the last year or so. I told him that since he has again cost me money I do not have and should not have to spend, I wil just return his birthday present that I had already purchased. It seems fair to me. He immediately went balistic and pronounced me the "worst dad ever!!". Ahaa!! does that mean I finally got your attention on this? Now I fully intend to hold true to my word. No party, no gifts from us. My wife says it is wrong but I don't see it.

 

What do you guys think?

 

And CRB... before you try to butt in... Notice again, he has already been severly punished with a 2" leather belt on multiple occasions for this AND related actions so "beating him harder" just really is not an option. If that is all you got, then just stay out of this.:glare:

Blame it on NASA and the technology that has evolved because of it. No moonshots no home pc and printers needing ink.

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I think he is ok without the ink. He was absolutely fine without the ink when HE knew it was all out and we did not know. At least he knew better than to try to get me to buy more ink. But as soon as the ink is in the printer, come Hell or high water he is going to find a way to make copies. Gaurd dad did provide him a printer earlier this spring and he promptly emptied the ink and broke it while trying to stuff in cartridges from a different printer. At the start of this summer we had 4 of our own. He broke the one that nnever worked right as a printer but the copy function worked. My old cable printerwhich I never used anymore because I could not get ink reliably and a regular black inkjet. 2 more were given to us for him. I only have the newest and the oldest at this point.

 

 

 

Remember also that this is the same kid that was going neighbor to neighbor asking to use their printers AND snuck into another neighbor's home, while he (the neighbor) was teaching my daughter's Karate class, and used his without permission.

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I'm not certain, but If I take the ink out. the cartrides and the inkjets will dry out. That would at the least render the cartridges useless. That is why I haven't done that. I do not if I mentioned it but I did take the power cable away but he found another one to use.

 

You know, I have empathy for your situation and my heart really breaks for your son, but do you really want advice? I mean, a monkey can figure out that the damn printer needs to go in the trunk of your car. Problem solved.

 

I think you wanted to vent and you wanted to validate taking away the celebration of this child's birth. You've made it painfully clear that this isn't something you celebrate. And, you've made excuses for every piece of reasonable advice that's been given to you thus far.

 

If this kid is such a bother, if his doctor visits are such a chore, then find an in patient facility. As it stands, the odds are sacked against him - throw in a dad that can't manage his anger and resentment and wants to make excuses for why things won't work - well, I'll be surprised if the kid makes 18 without a vacation in the prison system.

 

There's a half dozen solutions in this thread for the printer problem. Yeah, it might be inconvenient, get over it.

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Whoo hoo!! That is the best news I've heard all day. Well with the exception of keeping them in the fridge. something tells me they would go right back into the printer.:pardon:

Put them in the back of the fridge in a box of something he doesn't like? Like an empty box of wheat germ or baking soda?

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It won't let me quote you, for some reason. dry.gif

 

HR sees Dr. Davillier at EP Pediatrics - she's an absolute godsend, but she's also been with us since Nev was about 2.5. She wasn't there for the initial evaluation, but she was there when HR was older and things started getting harder. We do only see her once a month for the medication appointment and, if there are *any* other issues throughout the month, we're always free to call and see her.

 

Dr. Davillier hooked us up with our team of doctors. HR has an allergist, behavioral therapist/ADHD psychologist, neurologist, psychiatrist, and a couple other doctors. Some of those won't apply to Dis, Jr - like possibly the allergist. We discovered that HR has a *high* allergy to over a dozen foods, but she doesn't have an anaphylactic reaction like most people. You should have seen her back when they did the test....it looked like she had been attacked by bees or had the measles. Her doctors said that many people are like this...they have a reaction that isn't visible inside of the body somewhere. Hers is in her brain, which is where all of her other disorders are located. We removed the allergens, and many of her behavioral issues stopped, as did her tics. You'd never guess she has tourettes. If she puts cow's milk (one of her allergies) in her breakfast four or five days in a row, though, the tics come back and some of her behavioral issues resume. You might look into having an allergy panel done. It definitely doesn't hurt (well, much) to give it a shot. If you decide to go that route, we use these people: http://www.caageorgia.com/

 

At minimum, I would get him to a psychologist that handles behavior disorders. Dr. Dudley in Acworth is amazing - he's the one who gave HR her final diagnosis of ODD, OCD and Anxiety Disorder. She has come leaps and bounds in the year we've been seeing him. You may need a referral from the pediatrician.

http://www.atlantapsych.com/services

 

For Psychiatrists, we're set up with this guy: http://www.docloch.com/

We only saw him a couple of times, because we did the allergy panel right around the same time and most of her behavioral issues went away. He was awesome, though, and HR still goes in for occasional appointments just to stay up-to-date with him.

 

I doubt he would need a neurologist. Even if he did, I wouldn't suggest ours...he tried to put my kid on klonopin and valium. We're shopping for a new one.

 

Like I said before, it isn't easy. At all. It's worth it, though. HR has 2-3 times weekly allergy shots, weekly appointments with the behavior specialist, did have weekly with the psychiatrist, on top of monthly check ups with three other doctors and then a whole team of help at school because she's behind. She is, however, doing amazingly. The past year has been one of the hardest in my life (she was dignosed with all but the SPD and speech last July), but she has come so far that most can't even tell she has any kind of disorder, much less eight of them. ♥

 

I've posted a few times about you problems-mostly because I have a daughter who was just like him. YES, just like him. I feel for you in a big way. My sanity has only returned in the last few years, and she has been out of the house for quite a while.

MY 1st bit of advice, is that this person sounds like she has the best, and most current information on some, if not all, of the issues you are facing. What a great resource-use it as best you can.

And 2nd, do ANYTHING you can come up with to help him grow into a productive person, because if he doesn't, you will be the one dealing with his inability to join society. Of coarse, with a boy, you may not have to raise your grandkids like I have. Hopefully he won't choose a woman with his same issues to procreate with-God forbid!!!

Of coarse, that grandkid I'm raising is the ONLY reason I can stop myself from wishing she were never born. Funny how that worked out-probably helped to bring back my sanity too!!!!

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You know, I have empathy for your situation and my heart really breaks for your son, but do you really want advice? I mean, a monkey can figure out that the damn printer needs to go in the trunk of your car. Problem solved.

 

I think you wanted to vent and you wanted to validate taking away the celebration of this child's birth. You've made it painfully clear that this isn't something you celebrate. And, you've made excuses for every piece of reasonable advice that's been given to you thus far.

 

If this kid is such a bother, if his doctor visits are such a chore, then find an in patient facility. As it stands, the odds are sacked against him - throw in a dad that can't manage his anger and resentment and wants to make excuses for why things won't work - well, I'll be surprised if the kid makes 18 without a vacation in the prison system.

 

There's a half dozen solutions in this thread for the printer problem. Yeah, it might be inconvenient, get over it.

 

You are aware that you can celebrate birthday's without parties, gifts, etc. RIGHT? Life is about consequences. It's a shame he has to learn a lesson at that age, but it won't scar him. They don't have to make is birthday a miserable experience, but they can make the choice to not spend money on the event due to choices made.

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You know, I have empathy for your situation and my heart really breaks for your son, but do you really want advice? I mean, a monkey can figure out that the damn printer needs to go in the trunk of your car. Problem solved.

 

I think you wanted to vent and you wanted to validate taking away the celebration of this child's birth. You've made it painfully clear that this isn't something you celebrate. And, you've made excuses for every piece of reasonable advice that's been given to you thus far.

 

If this kid is such a bother, if his doctor visits are such a chore, then find an in patient facility. As it stands, the odds are sacked against him - throw in a dad that can't manage his anger and resentment and wants to make excuses for why things won't work - well, I'll be surprised if the kid makes 18 without a vacation in the prison system.

 

There's a half dozen solutions in this thread for the printer problem. Yeah, it might be inconvenient, get over it.

 

And I also know my son... If I want something removed from him where he can't get to it, I send it to a relative. He has gotten the car keys and went into the vehicles to get things that he wanted . Again, it only takes a minute. Mom leaves her keys out I do not. mine are always in my pocket. If he new the printer was in her trunk and did not have a key he would grab a screwdriver or hammer to get in. I'm not an idiot. It is not an excuse, it is the truth. I told you the alternatives I tried which were rather extensive just to keep a small child from getting into something he was told to leave alone. And how many other objects that are currently under lock and key should I also put in my trunk? I also have major issues with him getting into my tools. I would need a uhaul to put all of those away.

 

But my assumption with you is that you can not accept the fact that, given the knowledge I have about my son and all the issues he has and causes at this point in our lives, I would not knowingly repeat the act that brought him into being. But even as I say that, I still realize that the future has not yet been written and his potential future could very well be worth all of the aggravation. And that is not the same as saying I would rather he had been "discontinued" or that I wish he were dead now.

 

Put them in the back of the fridge in a box of something he doesn't like? Like an empty box of wheat germ or baking soda?

 

 

Dang... You're good.:drinks:

 

You are aware that you can celebrate birthday's without parties, gifts, etc. RIGHT? Life is about consequences. It's a shame he has to learn a lesson at that age, but it won't scar him. They don't have to make is birthday a miserable experience, but they can make the choice to not spend money on the event due to choices made.

 

 

Thank you.:drinks:

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Ok, if it was me here's what I'd do.

 

For my printer, I would hide away the power cord for the printer and only get it out when I needed it.

 

For the price of printers, I'd buy him his own printer. Make your selection of printers based on the cost of the refills. (It does make a difference)

 

Provide him his first set of printer ink and then let him do chores to earn money or credit to purchase additional ink and paper supplies as he needs them.

 

This will teach him personal responsibility (hopefully) so that he won't waste paper or ink since he has to 'pay' for them.

As with all entitlements, they become taken for granted and often abused.

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Its hard this is your child, try having to deal with this with a step daughter who is odd,ocd and no telling what else the multiple doctors we have paid for. growing up she has been an emotional time bomb with a micro fuse. Its been a nightmare that seems to be finally coming to an end with age she will be 14 in 5 months and the outbursts and mayhem are getting less and less, (home depot may have to go under for the lack of sheetrock and patches).. I have done all i could for her for the past 9 years and she respects it but still has anger issues when its just me and her she would paint the house for me but when little sis or mom is around my word means nothing.

:drinks:so here's to patience and puberty and hopefully over the next few years the problems will fix themselves.:drinks:

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