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I have so many its not funny.     Most of them begin with people. Stupid people. Most people are stupid.  

Mine is someone using wrong grammar. Like saying "seen" when it should be "saw". Or "knowed" when it should be "knew". And on and on. And yes I do say "ain't" sometimes. Lol

People who have a personal story for everything. You could ask a question about the worlds most obscure disease and you can bet someone they know has had it.      

I did think about that. Nobody corrected it until it got to me. It was just appalling to hear that business executive say "seen". BTW, she was the one who started play in that round.

 

I guess that was one of those times it was beneficial not to be from the same gene pool as everyone else playing the game. :rofl: We were two of the maybe seven church members not related to the rest of them.

 

Did it ever occur to you that was one of the 'tells' inserted? ... to see if the story told would retain the improper grammer.

 

Notably, it would have been a lot more embarrassing if it had started with proper grammar and ended with the grammatical faux pas.

 

pubby

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I never tail gate, it is a stupid behavior indulged in by people that don't know how to drive.

 

I will agree that it is stupid behavior (and dumb and every adjective you wish to use), but it is not true that all who tailgate do not know how to drive.

As someone who driving is a major part of my job and being a lifelong tailgater, I have to be a good driver to avoid all the accidents that I could have been in by tailgating so much.

 

I know I have a problem and have been working on not being a tailgater for many, many years.

I have been going to TA (Tailgater Anonymous) meetings for a long time, but I keep falling off the wagon (or tailgate as it were).

 

Of all the things that have been said (or yelled) at me over the years; and by the way, I always appologize and say they are right and I was wrong; the best I ever heard was from a friend who didn't know that it was me following her to a restaurant.

When she started complaining about the idiot who was tailgating her, I told her I was sorry and was trying to quit.

Her responce was; "I usually charge someone money to get that close to my azz".

 

Again, to all of you who I have and will tailgate, I appologize.

Got to go now, I have a TA meeting to get to.

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My biggest pet peeve is job listings that say "Marietta" but don't say WHERE in Marietta. It's a big place. I'd really like to know if the job is located in EAST Marietta before I send a resume.

 

My second biggest pet peeve is a job listing with no location at all and when you Google the number you find out it's in John's Creek or Gainesville. WTH is it doing in the MARIETTA paper?

 

then there are the people who park their grocery buggies right smack dab in the middle of the aisle and either give you a dirty look when you try to get by them or actually YELL at you.

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I will agree that it is stupid behavior (and dumb and every adjective you wish to use), but it is not true that all who tailgate do not know how to drive.

As someone who driving is a major part of my job and being a lifelong tailgater, I have to be a good driver to avoid all the accidents that I could have been in by tailgating so much.

 

I know I have a problem and have been working on not being a tailgater for many, many years.

I have been going to TA (Tailgater Anonymous) meetings for a long time, but I keep falling off the wagon (or tailgate as it were).

 

Of all the things that have been said (or yelled) at me over the years; and by the way, I always appologize and say they are right and I was wrong; the best I ever heard was from a friend who didn't know that it was me following her to a restaurant.

When she started complaining about the idiot who was tailgating her, I told her I was sorry and was trying to quit.

Her responce was; "I usually charge someone money to get that close to my azz".

 

Again, to all of you who I have and will tailgate, I appologize.

Got to go now, I have a TA meeting to get to.

At least you admit it and apologize for it. The next time I am being followed too closely, I will wonder if it's you. I'll wave with my whole hand instead of just my middle finger, That way you'll know it's me.

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then there are the people who park their grocery buggies right smack dab in the middle of the aisle and either give you a dirty look when you try to get by them or actually YELL at you.

Oh.hell.no! What kind of idiot would yell at a stranger? People are too crazy and that may be thing to make them snap.

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We were at Walmart a few years ago and a woman and her ENTOURAGE were blocking the aisle. We literally needed to be where she was standing. My husband very nicely asked her if she could move and pointed to the item we were interested in. She started yelling at us and cussing at us like we were in HER way. We ended up having to go down the aisle and come in to where we needed to be from another direction. As we walked away my husband said, loud enough for her to hear, that she should be ashamed to treat a stranger that way in front of her kids and that he hoped the kids were embarrassed by it.

 

Oh.hell.no! What kind of idiot would yell at a stranger? People are too crazy and that may be thing to make them snap.

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BS!! I'll bet nobody feels that way about you.

 

It bothers me when my husband faces me while we're sleeping. I don't mind as long as I'm facing the other way, But we cant be facing each other. It's so weird, I know.

 

 

Are you kidding?!?!?! Me too!!! Weirdness abounds!!!!!! :lol:

 

Me three! I don't like feeling like I'm breathing in his exhalation.

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When you order a burger and the meat is falling out the side of the bun. Then, you can't re-stack it because the cheese has melted to the bun and it tears all to hell.

 

When a server hands you a drink that she had been holding from the top instead of the side. Come on, I don't want to put my lips where your fingers have been.

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My big thing is people always in my business. We cannot do anything without the neighbor wanting to know what is going on. Cannot go out to our pool without them calling to see what we are doing or if they can come over. Hubby takes off work calls to see why he is at home. We went out of town for a few days they called every day and left messages on voice mail. Then wants to know personal finances information, what is your APR on your car, how do you afford that. When growing up I never had anyone in our business like that and you did not ask personal information.

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My big thing is people always in my business. We cannot do anything without the neighbor wanting to know what is going on. Cannot go out to our pool without them calling to see what we are doing or if they can come over. Hubby takes off work calls to see why he is at home. We went out of town for a few days they called every day and left messages on voice mail. Then wants to know personal finances information, what is your APR on your car, how do you afford that. When growing up I never had anyone in our business like that and you did not ask personal information.

 

Tell the neighbors you're having Donkey Show and that the donkey was a no show, would they be willing to wear a donkey costume. Tell the finance people you're not sure, you keep getting Bill's mail, and you keep paying his bills but Bill has never thanked you. Or when other companies call tell them you're to cheap to call sex lines and ask if they'll talk to you sexy and while touching themselves.

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They would only ask me that stuff once. After that, they would probably never speak to me again. I would tell them none of your damn business!

 

My big thing is people always in my business. We cannot do anything without the neighbor wanting to know what is going on. Cannot go out to our pool without them calling to see what we are doing or if they can come over. Hubby takes off work calls to see why he is at home. We went out of town for a few days they called every day and left messages on voice mail. Then wants to know personal finances information, what is your APR on your car, how do you afford that. When growing up I never had anyone in our business like that and you did not ask personal information.

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My big thing is people always in my business. We cannot do anything without the neighbor wanting to know what is going on. Cannot go out to our pool without them calling to see what we are doing or if they can come over. Hubby takes off work calls to see why he is at home. We went out of town for a few days they called every day and left messages on voice mail. Then wants to know personal finances information, what is your APR on your car, how do you afford that. When growing up I never had anyone in our business like that and you did not ask personal information.

WTF??? Like S&D's Nana said, none of their damn business.

 

Now if they persisted after that, I'd start messing with them....what are we doing out at the pool? Toilet's broke...when ya gotta go, ya gotta go (takes care of them wanting to come over.)

 

Why'd Hubby take off work? Explosive diarrhea....then describe in great detail.

 

What is the APR on your car? Don't know....cuz its stolen.

 

How do you afford that? Well....we sell organs on the black market. Got a kidney you want to sell?

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They would only ask me that stuff once. After that, they would probably never speak to me again. I would tell them none of your damn business!

 

I know that is what my mother keeps telling me to do. The only thing I can think the reason for wanting to know everything is because my husband is the only one that works. We have nice stuff but we do not try to keep up with the Jones'. If we want something we save up the money for it. I'm sure one day it will come out and it was not be pretty since I have been holding it in all this time.

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WTF??? Like S&D's Nana said, none of their damn business.

 

Now if they persisted after that, I'd start messing with them....what are we doing out at the pool? Toilet's broke...when ya gotta go, ya gotta go (takes care of them wanting to come over.)

 

Why'd Hubby take off work? Explosive diarrhea....then describe in great detail.

 

What is the APR on your car? Don't know....cuz its stolen.

 

How do you afford that? Well....we sell organs on the black market. Got a kidney you want to sell?

 

That is pretty funny... I will have to try that next time they call.

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Or:

 

Them: "....blah blah blah APR blah blah blah...."

Me: "What's APR"

Them: "Annual Percentage Rate"

Me: "Oh, ok, cool"

Them: ".. blah blah blah blah blah..."

Me: "Wait, what's the R for again?"

Them: "What R?"

Me: "In APR."

Them: "Rate"

Me: "Oh, ok.. I forgot."

Them: ".. blah blah blah blah blah..."

Me: "Wait, what's the P for again?"

Them: "Percentage"

Me: "Ok"

Them: ".. blah blah blah blah blah..."

Me: "Wait, what's the R for again?"

Them: "Rate"

Them: ".. blah blah blah blah blah..."

Me: "What's your name again."

Them: "It (name), blah blah blah."

Me: "I knew a (name) once, he's dead. He died of a stroke, on the toilet, he was really constipated. His wife found him, she wiped his butt before the ambulance showed up because she didn't want them to see him that way. But she dropped him and couldn't get him back on the toilet. So she put him in the shower but the water was too hot. Some of his skin came off and clogged the drain. She tried to clean it up and....."

Them: CLICK

Edited by i_have3dogs
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I will agree that it is stupid behavior (and dumb and every adjective you wish to use), but it is not true that all who tailgate do not know how to drive.

As someone who driving is a major part of my job and being a lifelong tailgater, I have to be a good driver to avoid all the accidents that I could have been in by tailgating so much.

 

I know I have a problem and have been working on not being a tailgater for many, many years.

I have been going to TA (Tailgater Anonymous) meetings for a long time, but I keep falling off the wagon (or tailgate as it were).

 

Of all the things that have been said (or yelled) at me over the years; and by the way, I always appologize and say they are right and I was wrong; the best I ever heard was from a friend who didn't know that it was me following her to a restaurant.

When she started complaining about the idiot who was tailgating her, I told her I was sorry and was trying to quit.

Her responce was; "I usually charge someone money to get that close to my azz".

 

Again, to all of you who I have and will tailgate, I appologize.

Got to go now, I have a TA meeting to get to.

 

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

 

Next time you drop by the office I will heal you from this affliction with a palm slapped smartly to the center of your forehead.

You can thank me by buying lunch at Baby Janes :D

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:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

 

Next time you drop by the office I will heal you from this affliction with a palm slapped smartly to the center of your forehead.

You can thank me by buying lunch at Baby Janes :D

 

If a slap to the head worked, I would have been cured a long time ago.

I really do try and watch it and I have got better at not doing it, at least I think I have.

I know it's bad, believe me, I know.

I will still buy lunch.

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If a slap to the head worked, I would have been cured a long time ago.

I really do try and watch it and I have got better at not doing it, at least I think I have.

I know it's bad, believe me, I know.

I will still buy lunch.

 

:yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo:

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Having a dropped call after I've been on hold FOREVER with a business! I honestly think some little guy at Sprint does it for fun. It happens ALL the time!I hate that little voice that reminds me "your call will be taken in the order it was received"! Grrrr!

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Having a dropped call after I've been on hold FOREVER with a business! I honestly think some little guy at Sprint does it for fun. It happens ALL the time!I hate that little voice that reminds me "your call will be taken in the order it was received"! Grrrr!

 

Some of those customer support lines will connect to a person a lot faster if you don't push any buttons (rotary doesn't beep and some people still have rotary), or swearing, some of the automated systems are designed to connect 'angry' people faster.

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It bothers me when my husband faces me while we're sleeping. I don't mind as long as I'm facing the other way, But we cant be facing each other. It's so weird, I know.

 

Ha! I'm the same way with my wife. Back when we were first dating we would be lying in bed and I would tell her I felt like a tree. She, not quite understanding my miserable sense of humor yet, had no clue wtf I was talking about. I had to remind her that trees feed on carbon dioxide which is also what humans exhale so, I felt like a tree when she would breath right in my grill. Yes...yes I do have mad game.

 

 

mrnn

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Some of those customer support lines will connect to a person a lot faster if you don't push any buttons (rotary doesn't beep and some people still have rotary), or swearing, some of the automated systems are designed to connect 'angry' people faster.

 

 

Ah! That makes sense. Thanks.

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How about those people with a full buggy going through the express lane for 15 items. Or those people with cell phones stuck in there ear driving off the road!:blink:

you know what those people are called? Expressholes ;)

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Those posters who use acronyms or initials constantly. You are aware that we do not all live in the same circle of life and may not be aware of the meaning. If you are hunting for assistance or whatever, a good chance I will not be aware of what is said and ignore it. If you have done any technical writing, you spell out the meaning of the saying first and then follow with

whatever your acronym or abbreviation you are going to use in the rest of the text

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