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We went to Kohl's last night to do a little shopping. Daughter needed some new shoes and my wife wanted some too. I had some Kohl's cash so off we went. Both are really picky about their tennis shoes. My wife can decide for herself what to get so I go to help 12 y/o daughter. She can mostly decide what she wants but she really wants someone else to make the ultimate decision.:pardon: So We look around. She wants some light weight white shoes and I want her to have some leather all purpose as well. So we find a couple of pairs. They only have the display of the White / Green light weight ones she likes. Luckily her size. She tries them on and likes them. Good. We find the others in her size as well. Then mom comes strolling up. Sees the W/G ones and says "oh those are for me right". :unsure: Um no... Why? Well those are the ones I like and they are my size. Ok... Now I know both wear the same size. That is the last pair and we picked those out for our daughter. But she is getting the others (leather) right. Well yes but... And here we go. Back and forth... I find another style for my daughter that she might like. Nope... don't like those. So they are like what are you (me) going to do? Well one way or another, we are getting the W/G pair for one of you. More looking and back and forth. So I get tired of being caught up in it. Remind my wife. "I am cleaning out the basement right now and have found at least 3 fairly new pairs of your tennis shoes that you lost in that chaos and did not even deem necessary to go find nor retrieve after I found them for you". So I go to look for some shirts. We meet back at ladies wear. I start going through the cart to see what the bill will be and what they picked out. "honey... wear are the W/G tennis shoes?" (Both in unison) "We just put them back since you didn't make a decision":unsure: :blink: :huh: :ninja:

 

You put them back after all the discussion over who gets them?!?

 

 

So ladies...

 

1. I am not the be all and end all of clothing decisions in the house but I do like to keep them within limits.

 

2. I already told them.. "one way or another we will be getting those".

 

So... WTH just happened?!?:pardon:

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#1- Wife was being a bit greedy! I would have stood my ground, said "these are for our daughter". Tell Wife to go find something else.. A Day late, A Dollar short honey :pardon: :rofl:

 

#2- If they are so indecisive as to blame you for them not getting the shoes, there is simple solutions: DON'T GO SHOPPING WITH THEM AGAIN. That's NOT normal!!

 

#3- Are you sure they didn't just put them back, then blame you, becuase they didn't want to feel bad about their indecisiveness? :wacko: As they say in the "Real" world, it's easier to point fingers than take blame!

 

My husband gives his OPINION on what I buy for me, him, and our daughter.

8) I am the kind of mom that would just let my DAUGHTER get the shoes..We could always share them ;)

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Why can't they share the shoes? :unsure: I share shoes with my 14 Year old.

 

That said, if my dd found them first and wanted them for herself, I would never consider taking them for myself. I find that odd.

 

Truthfully, I'm picturing white and bright green super light tennis shoes like all the kids are wearing. Is wifey rocking the Sperry's too??

 

Regardless, having mom or dad with anything more than veto power in fashion is setting yourself up for failure. She's 12, she can shop for herself.

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I'm really biting my tongue on this one so I'm just going to say what I should have said the last time you went through an ordeal with your wife.....I think she kept losing or locking her keys and you would ALWAYS rescue her.

 

I think your wife is selfish and spoiled. If you married her that way then you should have expected this. . If you made her that way too bad for you.

 

I would have let my daughter have the shoes she picked out and wanted and dealt with the wife later.

 

Ok. Don't hate me....it's probably something you already knew.

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WTH just happened, is your wife placed the blame on you for your daughter not getting new shoes...because she was being selfish. I would never do that to my husband or my daughter! Looks like you are raising 3 kids instead of 2! :blink:

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Truthfully, I'm picturing white and bright green super light tennis shoes like all the kids are wearing. Is wifey rocking the Sperry's too??

 

Regardless, having mom or dad with anything more than veto power in fashion is setting yourself up for failure. She's 12, she can shop for herself.

 

The extent of my involvement here is to A) Make sure she got the shoes she really needed. Not come home with a new pair of boots or some such B ) to make sure she looks at price and buys reasonbly priced shoes add C) make sure she actually gets some that fit. Other than that, it's her choice. :drinks:

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WTH just happened, is your wife placed the blame on you for your daughter not getting new shoes...because she was being selfish. I would never do that to my husband or my daughter! Looks like you are raising 3 kids instead of 2! :blink:

I was just thinking the same thing. Sounds like he is dealing with two children in that situation and not one.

???

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I'm really biting my tongue on this one so I'm just going to say what I should have said the last time you went through an ordeal with your wife.....I think she kept losing or locking her keys and you would ALWAYS rescue her.

 

I think your wife is selfish and spoiled. If you married her that way then you should have expected this. . If you made her that way too bad for you.

 

I would have let my daughter have the shoes she picked out and wanted and dealt with the wife later.

 

Ok. Don't hate me....it's probably something you already knew.

 

I was a bit surprised at her request as well. But anyway. Daughter got her shoes, I saw to that. Mom did not get them. But the big thing that got me was the failure of either party to initially agree to get the shoes to begin with. I had to tell my daughtet to go get them before we checked out.:rolleyes:

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We went to Kohl's last night to do a little shopping. Daughter needed some new shoes and my wife wanted some too. I had some Kohl's cash so off we went. Both are really picky about their tennis shoes. My wife can decide for herself what to get so I go to help 12 y/o daughter. She can mostly decide what she wants but she really wants someone else to make the ultimate decision.:pardon: So We look around. She wants some light weight white shoes and I want her to have some leather all purpose as well. So we find a couple of pairs. They only have the display of the White / Green light weight ones she likes. Luckily her size. She tries them on and likes them. Good. We find the others in her size as well. Then mom comes strolling up. Sees the W/G ones and says "oh those are for me right". :unsure: Um no... Why? Well those are the ones I like and they are my size. Ok... Now I know both wear the same size. That is the last pair and we picked those out for our daughter. But she is getting the others (leather) right. Well yes but... And here we go. Back and forth... I find another style for my daughter that she might like. Nope... don't like those. So they are like what are you (me) going to do? Well one way or another, we are getting the W/G pair for one of you. More looking and back and forth. So I get tired of being caught up in it. Remind my wife. "I am cleaning out the basement right now and have found at least 3 fairly new pairs of your tennis shoes that you lost in that chaos and did not even deem necessary to go find nor retrieve after I found them for you". So I go to look for some shirts. We meet back at ladies wear. I start going through the cart to see what the bill will be and what they picked out. "honey... wear are the W/G tennis shoes?" (Both in unison) "We just put them back since you didn't make a decision":unsure: :blink: :huh: :ninja:

 

You put them back after all the discussion over who gets them?!?

 

 

So ladies...

 

1. I am not the be all and end all of clothing decisions in the house but I do like to keep them within limits.

 

2. I already told them.. "one way or another we will be getting those".

 

So... WTH just happened?!?:pardon:

 

 

The answer is very simple; one man, two women, shopping.

If you try and make sense of it, it will drive you nuts.

Normal logic does not apply when two women are shopping.

Suggestion, find a nice bench and hold the purses of if you have to follow them around, a good stock answer is; "Whatever you think, honey. You know better about these things than I do".

Edited by stradial
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I was a bit surprised at her request as well. But anyway. Daughter got her shoes, I saw to that. Mom did not get them. But the big thing that got me was the failure of either party to initially agree to get the shoes to begin with. I had to tell my daughtet to go get them before we checked out.:rolleyes:

 

 

No ya didn't. She could have just gone without. Which is exactly what would happen in my world.

If your job is simply to approve the price/style of the purchase, why didn't you just wait by the checkout counter to begin with.

You feed in to the codependency. Nothing will ever change, until you change it.

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I'm really biting my tongue on this one so I'm just going to say what I should have said the last time you went through an ordeal with your wife.....I think she kept losing or locking her keys and you would ALWAYS rescue her.

 

I think your wife is selfish and spoiled. If you married her that way then you should have expected this. . If you made her that way too bad for you.

 

I would have let my daughter have the shoes she picked out and wanted and dealt with the wife later.

 

Ok. Don't hate me....it's probably something you already knew.

 

The only thing I didn't like about this post is the fact that I could only give it ONE +. :wub:

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I'm really biting my tongue on this one so I'm just going to say what I should have said the last time you went through an ordeal with your wife.....I think she kept losing or locking her keys and you would ALWAYS rescue her.

 

I think your wife is selfish and spoiled. If you married her that way then you should have expected this. . If you made her that way too bad for you.

 

I would have let my daughter have the shoes she picked out and wanted and dealt with the wife later.

 

Ok. Don't hate me....it's probably something you already knew.

I'm glad you went here and I didn't have to go out on this branch all alone. What the mom did was just plain mean. I'd give either of my girls the shoes off my feet if they wanted them bad enough and I sure as heck fire wouldn't snatch their shoes out of their hand if they had found them first. Who does that? And then to boot, won't buy them because Y-O-U didn't make the decision as to who would get them? Is your wife somehow younger than your daughter? Her behavior sure makes her seem so.

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Good grief! This reminds me of some of the stunts I grew up receiving from my own mom and it started when I was MUCH younger than 12. After decades of her progressively becoming much, MUCH worse in her actions towards me, I finally threw her out of my life when I was almost 43 and I haven't looked back. If your wife doesn't change how she is acting towards your daughter then this may be the future they will face.

 

If your wife is any type of regular Kohl's shopper then she probably already knows that she can order almost anything found in the store online at Kohls.com. In fact, in my experience, you can find any store item PLUS other additional items in their online store. I would suggest she order herself a pair there. From now on take your daughter shopping ALONE with you or let her go with her friends. If she is on a shopping trip with her friends and chooses something inappropriate then you can always return it to the store. Meanwhile, your wife needs to address WHY she would do something like this, does it happen on a regular basis and remind herself that she is the MOM. I wish you better shopping trips in the future.

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First, my daughter comes first. I have 2 girls, 20 months and 3 months. Between them they probably have 12 shoes. How many shoes does mom have? 2. I would gladly wear rags to make them happy. But I think that comes from being a person that is more concerned about the happiness and well being of my kids over my own. Seeing my daughter happy gives me all the happiness I need. Isn't that what being a mom is about? Second, while my husband is free to make comments on what I buy I would find it odd and of putting for him to have to babysit me shoe shopping. I'm a grown woman who can live within her means and make decisions.

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Good grief! This reminds me of some of the stunts I grew up receiving from my own mom and it started when I was MUCH younger than 12. After decades of her progressively becoming much, MUCH worse in her actions towards me, I finally threw her out of my life when I was almost 43 and I haven't looked back. If your wife doesn't change how she is acting towards your daughter then this may be the future they will face. If your wife is any type of regular Kohl's shopper then she probably already knows that she can order almost anything found in the store online at Kohls.com. In fact, in my experience, you can find any store item PLUS other additional items in their online store. I would suggest she order herself a pair there. From now on take your daughter shopping ALONE with you or let her go with her friends. If she is on a shopping trip with her friends and chooses something inappropriate then you can always return it to the store. Meanwhile, your wife needs to address WHY she would do something like this, does it happen on a regular basis and remind herself that she is the MOM. I wish you better shopping trips in the future.
This was a first. They apparantly just started wearing the same size shoe. as for the rest of the clothing, there is little way they could swap any of that yet. As much as my wife and I have gone out of our way for good shoes for my daughter ( she has always been hard to fit with shoes ) it was surprising to me that this happened. I understand where you ladies are coming from on the issue of her wanting the same shoes. However, my intent was not to get folks started on that but rather figure out how two folks who both wanted the same shoes got ready to check out with neither of them actually HAVING said shoes.:pardon: I generally take my daughter shopping without mom with us anyway. It is just the nature of my job that gives me the opportunity to do that. Besides, I look for bargains my wife not so much.

 

BTW

 

Kohl's.com does not have them anymore either.

 

I found these

http://www.kohls.com/kohlsStore/athletic_shoes/brands/avia/avia1/PRD~c26653/Avia+5024+Running+Shoes++Women.jsp

 

But those are the ones my daughter tried and did not like.

 

C'est la vie

 

or is it

 

C'est la gere :ninja:

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I quit reading when the wife bashing started. Simply put I would have given the shoes to the daughter and then called around until I found another pair at another Kohl's or anywhere really as long as they were within an exceptable price range. In fact if I had to go to another Kohl's and they were giving Kohl's cash it would have just been an excuse for me to spend just a little bit more to get to that nextg $50 :).

 

I am wondering why if those were the shoes your wife came in for why she didn't just go right for them when you got to the store. You may have mentioined she had some other shopping to do first but I remember you saying she had some shoes she was coming to get. And while I don't agree with your wifes actions I don't think you came on her looking to have people bashing her and I certainly wouldn't presume to know them enought to judge them by one or two incidents I read on a chat board posted. Actually, I thank God it is not my place to judge at all.

 

I am glad they both found some shoes. You have got to love Kohl's cash! Speaking of which I have a 30% coupon that is in need of some spending :)

 

 

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I quit reading when the wife bashing started. Simply put I would have given the shoes to the daughter and then called around until I found another pair at another Kohl's or anywhere really as long as they were within an exceptable price range. In fact if I had to go to another Kohl's and they were giving Kohl's cash it would have just been an excuse for me to spend just a little bit more to get to that nextg $50 :).

 

I am wondering why if those were the shoes your wife came in for why she didn't just go right for them when you got to the store. You may have mentioined she had some other shopping to do first but I remember you saying she had some shoes she was coming to get. And while I don't agree with your wifes actions I don't think you came on her looking to have people bashing her and I certainly wouldn't presume to know them enought to judge them by one or two incidents I read on a chat board posted. Actually, I thank God it is not my place to judge at all.

 

I am glad they both found some shoes. You have got to love Kohl's cash! Speaking of which I have a 30% coupon that is in need of some spending :)

But, when you come on a chat board and the end of your vent ask the question, 'So, WTH just happened'? verbatim, then you have set yourself up for the opinions that you were given. If those opinions weren't what you were looking for or what you wanted, then you should never have asked for them. Venting about a situation is one thing and may not call for an opinion, but when you specifically ask a question and it's answered, you need to be prepared for whatever those answers are or next time, keep the questions to yourself.

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