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19 yr old son depression


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I wanted to ask if anyone has had experience with a teenager with depression. I am just so worried about him and the things he says on Facebook. His Dad walked out on us when he was 12 yrs old and just starting middle school. For a whole week I could not get him to leave the chair that overlooked the driveway because he was waiting on him to come back. He was bullied in middle school which just made everything worse. Over the years he just gets angrier and unhappy and I am afraid for him. I have had a lot of health problems over the last few years so that's has taken up any extra money we have. He has never had a girlfriend and he thinks that no one will ever want him. I thought long and hard about putting this on here but if there is anyone out there that can help then its worth it. I haven't been on for a few weeks because since going back to work my back has been acting up and I will have to have another nerve block on Wens. So please don't get upset with me if I don't answer right away.

Thanks

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Don't hesitate to get him help. There are also low cost alternatives. If you need help in finding those, let me know and I'll see what I can find.

 

My daughter was seeing a psychologist during high school. She was in-patient for a while (2007) though she lived at home. I KNOW that Cobb County offers the in-patient and provides transportation. Not sure if it's available for Paulding County residents.

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I would welcome and help. I am really worried about him.

Don't hesitate to get him help. There are also low cost alternatives. If you need help in finding those, let me know and I'll see what I can find.

 

My daughter was seeing a psychologist during high school. She was in-patient for a while (2007) though she lived at home. I KNOW that Cobb County offers the in-patient and provides transportation. Not sure if it's available for Paulding County residents.

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I'm not sure if it's still there, but in the past there was a mental health treatment facility (not an inpatient, but an outpatient) on WI Parkway, behind the Krystal in Dallas. I can't even remember the name of it right now. I think the county health department ran it. I KNOW for a fact that Cobb County has a program through the health department but it is for Cobb and Douglas county residents, so if you live in Cobb, you're in luck. I would think Paulding (and perhaps Polk or Bartow) have a similar program for Paulding residents.

 

If he is covered by any insurance, you would need to go through them. Unfortunately, mental health is often not covered under insurance. He might benefit from going to see his primary care doctor and getting an anti-depressant and that likely *would* be covered by insurance but he also needs some kind of counseling.

 

You might also get some counseling for you because, quite honestly, it is exhausting dealing with a loved one who has depression. Been there, done that x 3. So, if you need someone to "talk" to, feel free to PM me. I've gone through that and understand.

 

I would definitely start with the county health department if looking for a low-cost alternative to private counseling. My next choice would be Wellstar.

 

I would welcome and help. I am really worried about him.

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I emailed a friend who works in the psychology field and she told me to tell you this: She can call the crisis line. They will help her set up an appointment somewhere, even somewhere that does not require insurance if she doesn't have any. They can also send out a crisis team if needed. The number is 1-800-715-4225.

 

Hope this helps!!!

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I have insurance coverage driving the bus but they co-payment has gone up to 45 dollars. I cant even get the care I need for my back because its gone up so much.

How old is he?

 

 

Sorry I see that in the title now, is he covered by any insurance plans?

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Thank You. He has worried me for a while. He just isnt getting better and the comments he makes he trys to pass off as jokes but they are not. I can see they are not.

I'm not sure if it's still there, but in the past there was a mental health treatment facility (not an inpatient, but an outpatient) on WI Parkway, behind the Krystal in Dallas. I can't even remember the name of it right now. I think the county health department ran it. I KNOW for a fact that Cobb County has a program through the health department but it is for Cobb and Douglas county residents, so if you live in Cobb, you're in luck. I would think Paulding (and perhaps Polk or Bartow) have a similar program for Paulding residents.

 

If he is covered by any insurance, you would need to go through them. Unfortunately, mental health is often not covered under insurance. He might benefit from going to see his primary care doctor and getting an anti-depressant and that likely *would* be covered by insurance but he also needs some kind of counseling.

 

You might also get some counseling for you because, quite honestly, it is exhausting dealing with a loved one who has depression. Been there, done that x 3. So, if you need someone to "talk" to, feel free to PM me. I've gone through that and understand.

 

I would definitely start with the county health department if looking for a low-cost alternative to private counseling. My next choice would be Wellstar.

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I wanted to ask if anyone has had experience with a teenager with depression. I am just so worried about him and the things he says on Facebook. His Dad walked out on us when he was 12 yrs old and just starting middle school. For a whole week I could not get him to leave the chair that overlooked the driveway because he was waiting on him to come back. He was bullied in middle school which just made everything worse. Over the years he just gets angrier and unhappy and I am afraid for him. I have had a lot of health problems over the last few years so that's has taken up any extra money we have. He has never had a girlfriend and he thinks that no one will ever want him. I thought long and hard about putting this on here but if there is anyone out there that can help then its worth it. I haven't been on for a few weeks because since going back to work my back has been acting up and I will have to have another nerve block on Wens. So please don't get upset with me if I don't answer right away.

Thanks

 

Pm'ing you...

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Any suggestion helps! I think he has starting getting into things he shouldn't because of the friends he has been hanging out with and the things I know they are doing. Him being 19 I cant just say you cant hang out with them like I could when he was younger. His Dad wont help because that would mean he would have to take responsibility and he wont do that so its left to me and I will do whatever I have to get him some kind of help. His sister is worried and he is closer to her than anyone. So if she is worried then something is really wrong. Thank you everyone for responding.

I emailed a friend who works in the psychology field and she told me to tell you this: She can call the crisis line. They will help her set up an appointment somewhere, even somewhere that does not require insurance if she doesn't have any. They can also send out a crisis team if needed. The number is 1-800-715-4225.

 

Hope this helps!!!

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Any suggestion helps! I think he has starting getting into things he shouldn't because of the friends he has been hanging out with and the things I know they are doing. Him being 19 I cant just say you cant hang out with them like I could when he was younger. His Dad wont help because that would mean he would have to take responsibility and he wont do that so its left to me and I will do whatever I have to get him some kind of help. His sister is worried and he is closer to her than anyone. So if she is worried then something is really wrong. Thank you everyone for responding.

 

 

You should call the number I gave you and try to get an appointment for him. I know this must be very hard on you as a mom. Wishing you and your son the best of luck!

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If he is out of school he could join the army. That will occupy his mind. He want have time to get depressed. The drill Sargent want allow bullying, I don't think. My grandson is 19, and he is going to boot camp next week, in Columbus GA.

 

I know I may not be helping at all, but I have talked quiet a bit with my grandson. He is worried that he will not fit in, because he is a mommy's boy.

 

It could be worth looking into. We always hope our sons and daughters are going to be okay, and sometimes we find that even though there is heavy growing pains, sometimes, they turn out fine most of the time.

 

I'm sorry that you are having to go through this. :drinks:

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Postman I know you have a good soul. He would if he could. He has unfortunately inherited my degenerative bone disease so military is not an option for him.

If he is out of school he could join the army. That will occupy his mind. He want have time to get depressed. The drill Sargent want allow bullying, I don't think. My grandson is 19, and he is going to boot camp next week, in Columbus GA.

 

I know I may not be helping at all, but I have talked quiet a bit with my grandson. He is worried that he will not fit in, because he is a mommy's boy.

 

It could be worth looking into. We always hope our sons and daughters are going to be okay, and sometimes we find that even though there is heavy growing pains, sometimes, they turn out fine most of the time.

 

I'm sorry that you are having to go through this. :drinks:

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I wanted to ask if anyone has had experience with a teenager with depression. I am just so worried about him and the things he says on Facebook. His Dad walked out on us when he was 12 yrs old and just starting middle school. For a whole week I could not get him to leave the chair that overlooked the driveway because he was waiting on him to come back. He was bullied in middle school which just made everything worse. Over the years he just gets angrier and unhappy and I am afraid for him. I have had a lot of health problems over the last few years so that's has taken up any extra money we have. He has never had a girlfriend and he thinks that no one will ever want him. I thought long and hard about putting this on here but if there is anyone out there that can help then its worth it. I haven't been on for a few weeks because since going back to work my back has been acting up and I will have to have another nerve block on Wens. So please don't get upset with me if I don't answer right away.

Thanks

 

Start with your family doctor. Get a complete physical. Then get a referral and go from there. Start with the medical side first to make sure it is nothing physical. There are some good resources on here but your family doctor should be the first step.

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I wanted to ask if anyone has had experience with a teenager with depression. I am just so worried about him and the things he says on Facebook. His Dad walked out on us when he was 12 yrs old and just starting middle school. For a whole week I could not get him to leave the chair that overlooked the driveway because he was waiting on him to come back. He was bullied in middle school which just made everything worse. Over the years he just gets angrier and unhappy and I am afraid for him. I have had a lot of health problems over the last few years so that's has taken up any extra money we have. He has never had a girlfriend and he thinks that no one will ever want him. I thought long and hard about putting this on here but if there is anyone out there that can help then its worth it. I haven't been on for a few weeks because since going back to work my back has been acting up and I will have to have another nerve block on Wens. So please don't get upset with me if I don't answer right away.

Thanks

 

 

Churches have youth groups with various activities. What is something he has a natural talent for that he could develop? Is he in school? Maybe a counselor there might have some insight. I would look into a muti approach including what others have suggested.

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I will keep your son in my prayers. Everyone else has excellent suggestions, and the only other thing I can think of to add is PLEASE TELL HIM that he is NOT the only person to ever go through this. No matter how bad he feels, how matter HOW he feels, please make him understand (reinforced by his sister, or anybody else you can get to tell him) he is NOT the only person who has felt the way he does, or who has been in the situation he is in. Many, many others (including me, although not the same circumstances) have been where he is, and have made it through the darkness to a better, happier, more peaceful place in life. He can, too. Bless his heart...I really will keep both of you in my prayers.

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I understand what you are going through and how helpless you feel. Being his mom you feel like you should be able to make it right for him. I hope you can find someone that will help him and that he will trust to help him and that he really wants and accepts the help.

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Another place to check into WillowBrooke at Tanner Medical in Villa Rica

I can vouch for Willowbrooke - they are wonderful there.

 

Spunkywoman, I am praying for you. I have had a similar situation, and I understand what you are going through. We have since found Highland Rivers here in Hiram. They have counseling services and psychiatrists on staff, and they work on a sliding scale basis, very reasonable. There is help and hope. I can certainly assure you that your son is not alone, and knowing that fact alone can help so much. Depression can be very isolating, and it can be hard for the sufferer to acknowledge the problem and ask for help. Depression is an illness, and can be more painful than anything physical. Again, there is hope. God bless you and your son - I wish you the very best.

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I wanted to ask if anyone has had experience with a teenager with depression. I am just so worried about him and the things he says on Facebook. His Dad walked out on us when he was 12 yrs old and just starting middle school. For a whole week I could not get him to leave the chair that overlooked the driveway because he was waiting on him to come back. He was bullied in middle school which just made everything worse. Over the years he just gets angrier and unhappy and I am afraid for him. I have had a lot of health problems over the last few years so that's has taken up any extra money we have. He has never had a girlfriend and he thinks that no one will ever want him. I thought long and hard about putting this on here but if there is anyone out there that can help then its worth it. I haven't been on for a few weeks because since going back to work my back has been acting up and I will have to have another nerve block on Wens. So please don't get upset with me if I don't answer right away.

Thanks

 

 

sorry i am not at home I am out of state. can you please send me a pm so I can give some examples of what we went thru with our son

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My heart goes out to you. I think he needs the help of a psychiatrist; someone who could prescribe medication. It sounds like he suffers from clinical depression and until that is determined, it seems he needs more than a psychologist. The Postman suggested he join the military, but I think that's a bad idea; it could push him over the edge. I hope you can get him the help he needs.

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... PLEASE TELL HIM that he is NOT the only person to ever go through this. No matter how bad he feels, how matter HOW he feels, please make him understand (reinforced by his sister, or anybody else you can get to tell him) he is NOT the only person who has felt the way he does, or who has been in the situation he is in. Many, many others (including me, although not the same circumstances) have been where he is, and have made it through the darkness to a better, happier, more peaceful place in life. He can, too ....

 

Speaking strictly for myself, I can tell you that that doesn't help. Intellectually, I knew that others had gone through the same thing - and worse! - and that situations can change for the better, yada yada. I knew there were people who loved and cared about me. It didn't matter - my present seemed bleak and the future bleaker. The day I came home and looked in the medicine cabinet to see if we had anything in there that was strong enough to kill me was the day I finally realized that I had to get some help, if not to change what was going on in my life, then at least to help me cope with it.

 

People in the throes of depression, like those in the throes of addiction, have to decide that they WANT to feel better. I pray that the OP's son will reach his epiphany without breaking the hearts of those who love him - there are many ways to get help if *he* will seek them out.

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Speaking strictly for myself, I can tell you that that doesn't help. Intellectually, I knew that others had gone through the same thing - and worse! - and that situations can change for the better, yada yada. I knew there were people who loved and cared about me. It didn't matter - my present seemed bleak and the future bleaker. The day I came home and looked in the medicine cabinet to see if we had anything in there that was strong enough to kill me was the day I finally realized that I had to get some help, if not to change what was going on in my life, then at least to help me cope with it.

 

People in the throes of depression, like those in the throes of addiction, have to decide that they WANT to feel better. I pray that the OP's son will reach his epiphany without breaking the hearts of those who love him - there are many ways to get help if *he* will seek them out.

 

I do agree that the person in question has to be receptive to the idea of treatment. Thank goodness you sought help, and I pray that the OP's son will be willing to do so as well!

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Postman I know you have a good soul. He would if he could. He has unfortunately inherited my degenerative bone disease so military is not an option for him.

 

 

I know what you mean, but I don't know how you and your son must be feeling. I can only pray that you can get the help you need.

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I can vouch for Willowbrooke - they are wonderful there.

We have since found Highland Rivers here in Hiram. They have counseling services and psychiatrists on staff, and they work on a sliding scale basis, very reasonable. There is help and hope. I can certainly assure you that your son is not alone, and knowing that fact alone can help so much.

 

when i first moved here the first girlfriend i had locally went to highland rivers, with a diagnosis of bipolar. she was given prescriptions for free for the first 30 days due to vouchers. after the 30 days the prescriptions that they hooked her on were not covered by her insurance, and would have cost her 800 out of pocket per month. she crashed, badly, and ended up in rtu in cedertown. i visited her in rtu several times while she was inpatient, and frankly, i would not have let either of my dogs stay there for more than an hour. after that they released her to the "day treatment" facility across the street from their main office on enterprise path. i ended up threatening to filie a lawsuit against that "day treatment" facility (it is nice to have pre paid legal some times), and that facility shut down 2 weeks later.

 

i would avoid highland rivers, and go to a private care provider

 

sorry, pubby if this violated your rules about local businesses, but felt i needed to share my experiences.

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when i first moved here the first girlfriend i had locally went to highland rivers, with a diagnosis of bipolar. she was given prescriptions for free for the first 30 days due to vouchers. after the 30 days the prescriptions that they hooked her on were not covered by her insurance, and would have cost her 800 out of pocket per month. she crashed, badly, and ended up in rtu in cedertown. i visited her in rtu several times while she was inpatient, and frankly, i would not have let either of my dogs stay there for more than an hour. after that they released her to the "day treatment" facility across the street from their main office on enterprise path. i ended up threatening to filie a lawsuit against that "day treatment" facility (it is nice to have pre paid legal some times), and that facility shut down 2 weeks later.

 

i would avoid highland rivers, and go to a private care provider

 

sorry, pubby if this violated your rules about local businesses, but felt i needed to share my experiences.

I can only speak from personal experience. My daughter is not currently on meds - as a matter of fact, the doctor encouraged her to wean off of all of the meds she was prescribed by a private doctor, as she felt they made the problem worse. Her assumption was correct. The counseling does seem to help. I just hope that the OP gets help somewhere, wherever it can be managed. What's best for some is not best for all. And if you don't have insurance and/or limited resources, a private care provider can be very expensive - I have found this out the hard way.

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First of all I think everyone's advice is good as far as seeking professional help if he will agree to it. I have experienced this with my son when he was younger and it is heartbreaking. I think if you can hide your fear from him it will help so he doesn't have to feel bad about making you feel bad which you may already be doing. I think it stressed my son out when I was worried about him and trying to cater to him and I was just trying to make everything right and I couldn't . His Dad left him too. The best advice I can give you is to pray and seek not only knowledge but wisdom concerning the situation and God will give this to you and help your son. It may be a time thing so hang in there and don't look at the circumstances but try to look on God's promises. It may be gradual especially he won't receive medication if it's a chemical imbalance. If he will seek help that is great but at that age if they don't want to all you have is a pray. If he's interested in something like music or art that may be a good thing to try to encourage during this to get some of those feelings out . He needs to feel good about himself so even asking him to help you do something around the house letting him know you really depend on him and need him. Or if he doesn't have a job you may want to try to help him find one online something to get his mind off of this time in his life. You will both get through this, this period will not last forever and you may be hurting even more than your son. Just know God loves you both and He is working all of this out for reasons that are unknown to you all at this time. Pray ..pray..and pray....it changes things and if he will receive help you want it to be the right therapist, so very important. We had many wrong ones that only served to help my poverty level. There's a free service called Family Services in Paulding County and they are very nice. My son was not receptive at the time but they were very nice and seemed to want to help.

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Thank You again everyone for your suggestions and support! He is a talented guitar player. He picked it up at sixteen and you would think he has played forever. He has got an old soul when it comes to music. Van Halen, Ozzie, 38 Special, Lynard Skynard and so forth. He just listens too it and picks it right up. He has tried getting involved with the church band but wasn't allowed to continue because of his bouts of anger not with them but with me. There have been a few people that have talked to him a bit and he has broken down a sobbed to but its only once and then he has no one to talk to. That has made him more withdrawn. His bouts of anger always ends with him sobbing and my heart is being torn out of my chest. I have worried about antidepressants because of the reports of making teens worse. He took care of me when I had my back surgery and couldn't walk. He also graduated High School that year. Its just so hard to explain why now he is scaring me. The things he says in a joking manner that I can see is not really a joke. His hopelessness in finding a full time job. Figuring out what career he wants and that he wants a girlfriend. Someone to love that he can love back. He has a good soul deep down under all this he is going through.

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Please, please, please don't take this the wrong way, but I've read through this topic and I'm afraid that I keep getting an old and familiar feeling that's going to hurt your feelings. I find a lot references to YOU. YOU have health problems that take up all the extra money. YOU have back problems and YOU have to have a nerve block on Wednesday so YOU may not be able to even get back on the computer soon. He took care of YOU when you had back surgery and couldn't walk. He got into a band but couldn't continue because of anger, not with them, but with YOU. He wants someone to love and who will love him back, but I'm getting a feeling that that's not YOU. How dependent are YOU on this young man? Is he trapped in a situation where he can't be his own person because of YOUR needs and his obligation to YOU because you're his mother. Are YOU able or willing to recognize this as a possibility. Postman suggested the military. I'm not sure if that is the best choice for him, but I have a gut feeling that the thing that he might need most is to get away from YOU. Is there a friend or relative that he could go live with for even a short time to see if he gets better. What about his Dad? You say he walked out, but did he walk out on him or YOU? Are YOU standing in the way of him reconnecting with his Dad because of YOUR feelings? Again, this is all from my gut. I don't know you, and I don't know him, but I think I do know young people, and I don't think that they need to be medicated or institutionalized or counseled as much as everybody wants to think these days. It's the parents that sometimes need the treatment. If you do get counseling be sure that it includes you too, separate and privately from him so he can speak his true mind with the doctor, and make sure that he knows that it's absolutely confidential between him and the doc. And YOU never, ever ask him what he said!

 

Sorry if I hurt your feelings. I might be completely off-base here but the "Dear Abby" came out in me. Guess y'all can just call me that from now on.

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I may get some "heat" for saying this....but things like Facebook can create problems for kids that folks my age never had around. I have 2 teen girls, and they are pretty good kids. I also have many of their friends on my page too....you can see the disturbing effects of this very easily.

 

Since iphones, and other multi-media gadgets have fallen into the hands of our kids, their lives will in no way resemble those of us who are older and are parents to these kids. This new technology not only increases the ebb and flow of gossip, back-stabbings, and other verbal abuse, but it takes on its own phenomenon...and our kids with it. ALL PEOPLE, not just kids, will say things while hidden from the face of the person they are talking to. In essence, we are becoming a nation sociopaths, by eliminating the factor of face-to-face conversations with friends and family.

 

I'm sure it's very convenient for many people, although I'm just a bit old, and set in my ways. I TALK on my cell phone...I do not text. Consequently, such conveniences also come with a price, especially to our kids. This technology is great for adults running businesses, and being mobile all the time. But for kids, all I see lately is a bunch of lobotomized texting zombies, who have no interest, drive, or aspirations like we did, when your future was ALL that mattered. In a sense, it has put them all "to sleep", if you will.

 

Of course, this could always be fixed by not paying for the services, phones, etc. Perhaps, if adults who use this as a tool would have their own personal account, then drop the kids' stuff....just don't pay the bill and let them cancel.

 

I know, I know.....I am awful!!!!! How dare I say a kid would probably do better in early life without a cell phone with all the internet access and what not. (You could always keep the gizmo's on you, and allow a certain time of day for them to play). Right....why BS ourselves?? If they have the phones, then they no longer belong to you-----the parents. Done that,been there, and still see it everywhere.

 

(Please, only throw slightly rotted fruit at me....not that kind that is all squishy and explodes with botulism all over you) :lol:)

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BubbaDoo -

 

These are not things to be resolved here, but in counseling. It's a mistake to try to deal with them on this public forum.

 

You're absolutely right, these are not things to be resolved here, but rather than see all these "Oh, you poor mother" and "I understand what you're going through" and "he needs medication" I feel only right to point out that there may be another side to this story. I agree 100% with counseling but I'm trying to point out that it may not be just the kid who needs the service. I've been there, done that, and know others who've been there too. If it's a possibility it shoulden't be covered up. The kid is the one who will end up paying the price either way.

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