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eym_sirius

Cremation

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Since I was coerced to attend a funeral the other day, it got me to considering all kind of things that are death-related. I understand that people for a long time

 

have been buried in ornate caskets (?) , but I really don't see the point. It seems that one day we'll have more real estate taken up with the dead than the living!

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I think spending thousands of dollars on a box that you're going to bury in the ground is about stupid. Why not just bury the money, that's what you're doing.

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I think spending thousands of dollars on a box that you're going to bury in the ground is about stupid. Why not just bury the money, that's what you're doing.

 

We had to purchase a casket to have my step son cremated in.

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ugh, I hate this topic. No offense to the OP. I need to quit smoking.

 

while I know it's gonna happen. I don't like the thought of being burned or placed in a box. :wacko:

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I think it's just personal preference. Cremation is much cheaper than burial with casket, grave liner, etc. I really don't want to be cremated and my husband really doesn't want to be buried. Not sure what we will wind up doing when we have to make that decision. Either way, you're dead and it doesn't matter to you, just to the people left behind - funerals are for the living. I don't mind this topic at all. You're born and you die. That's how it is!

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We had to purchase a casket to have my step son cremated in.

 

Really? I don't think I understand. You mean you had to put the ashes in a casket to bury them?

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We had to purchase a casket to have my step son cremated in.

 

 

 

Why? Was there a viewing? If so that would be the reason.

My Mom was cremated...she never wanted to be buried, and that was made known to us from the time we were small. We did not have a viewing, so no embalming was necessary and no casket. We purchased a beautiful cherry box (actually stained a lighter color with embroidery around it) looks like a sewing box. She loved to sew. It was around 800.00, and that is where we keep her ashes. Of the three sisters I was the only one who didn't find it too morbid or upsetting to keep.

I too want to be cremated, no embalming and no viewing. I want my family and my loved ones to remember me as they last saw me :) .

 

 

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I don't even want a box to put the ashes in. I looked at that link that was posted in the other "death" thread where you can get a piece of jewelry made from hair or ashes. I think it's a sweet sentiment for those that would appreciate it. AND, there's no way I'd ever want to wear a piece of jewelry made from a corpse. Creepy.

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I know some people find it creepy, and I understand. I think maybe I used to. Mom's death was very sudden, and it happened the day after I got in a fuss with her. I didn't even hug her bye that night, because I was being an idiot.

The next morning she was gone.

Cops showed up at my door with her purse. I even kept that.

The main reason to keep the ashes (on my behalf anyway) was that she used to joke that since she would drive us nuts all the time if she became old and feeble we would put her in a home because we wouldn't let her live with us (not true...just what she said). Keeping the ashes was (is) a way for me to show my love for her, and to say "See you are here with me".

Bizarre I know, but that is how it works in my head.

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Oh I want to be buried, make no mistake, but do it right. None of this fancy shallackered wood with metal rails crap.

 

A simple pine box. Something bio degradable. Eventually ide like to be dirt. Everyone is happy as my grave will eventually be usable real estate again.

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Why are we talking about this? :blink:

This is an awful topic. :blush:

 

ANyway, I agree with Jenilyn. I am the same way.

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Rhonda and Mark: Yes, they told us we had to purchase one for the cremation. It caught me off guard, but we were all like walking zombies.

 

We did do a viewing first, then had him cremated...only because he was so young, and his Mom wanted everyone to be able to see him.

 

But, before we decided on the viewing, we were already told we needed to get some sort of casket for the cremation. :pardon: That was my first experience, ever, having to do that.

 

All in all, it was about $7K, after the courtesy discount. I will say, they handled it very well. The man that was in charge, was actually a family friend, and had gone to pick up my stepson at the accident site. What they did, is well worth the cost. Now, if we can just pay it....

Edited by EJ78

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What one wishes done with their earthly remains is the most personal of decisions and no other living creature is qualified to judge.

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$7,000??? Holy crap! Ok, so we didn't have the viewing, etc. but the one cremation that I have paid for was just over $1,000.

 

Rhonda and Mark: Yes, they told us we had to purchase one for the cremation. It caught me off guard, but we were all like walking zombies.

 

We did do a viewing first, then had him cremated...only because he was so young, and his Mom wanted everyone to be able to see him.

 

But, before we decided on the viewing, we were already told we needed to get some sort of casket for the cremation. :pardon: That was my first experience, ever, having to do that.

 

All in all, it was about $7K, after the courtesy discount. I will say, they handled it very well. The man that was in charge, was actually a family friend, and had gone to pick up my stepson at the accident site. What they did, is well worth the cost. Now, if we can just pay it....

 

You wouldn't have to have the gem made into a piece of jewelry. You could do about anything with it. Maybe you have a special vase or piece of silver made and have the gem add to adorn it and make it a special family piece.

 

Still not the thing for everyone (myself included) but just some ideas other than wearing a dead person.

 

I don't even want a box to put the ashes in. I looked at that link that was posted in the other "death" thread where you can get a piece of jewelry made from hair or ashes. I think it's a sweet sentiment for those that would appreciate it. AND, there's no way I'd ever want to wear a piece of jewelry made from a corpse. Creepy.

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A company called lifestone will harvest your carbon and turn your butt into a diamond. No, Fat people do not make bigger stones either.

 

Before the green fiasco over at the CCX crashed last month, I was working on a plan to pay a family at the funeral home for their loved one's carbon footprint that they have just left, and then take those carbon credits and sell them on the exchange as certified neutral offset emissions. Then I was going to expand to roadkill, and afghani insurgents...

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Rhonda and Mark: Yes, they told us we had to purchase one for the cremation. It caught me off guard, but we were all like walking zombies.

 

We did do a viewing first, then had him cremated...only because he was so young, and his Mom wanted everyone to be able to see him.

 

But, before we decided on the viewing, we were already told we needed to get some sort of casket for the cremation. :pardon: That was my first experience, ever, having to do that.

 

All in all, it was about $7K, after the courtesy discount. I will say, they handled it very well. The man that was in charge, was actually a family friend, and had gone to pick up my stepson at the accident site. What they did, is well worth the cost. Now, if we can just pay it....

 

:(

I just don't understand the casket being needed for cremation. I do understand when there is a viewing (sort of). But as you said they told you that before you had decided on the viewing.

We used the Eberharts...have been acquainted with them since my son (almost 22 now) was a toddler. We too were all completely traumatized and would have done anything suggested. They were very open and honest about what we had to have/didn't have to have. I appreciate that so much because (especially in cases of sudden loss) you are not in any position to make kind of informed decision. Very vulnerable, and they all treated us so very well.

 

 

 

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I've been involved with the arrangements on only one funeral. When my maternal grandfather died. Several of us didn't like him much. My oldest uncle included. When we were in the back room of Clark's picking out a box my uncle saw a short one. He said, can't we just cut him half and double him up in this one, it's cheaper. I was certain Sam Clark, who we've known for a long time, nearly choked. My uncle is known for his witty and usually inappropriate humor. I laughed out loud, I couldn't help myself. I didn't like my grandfather very much either.

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Oh I want to be buried, make no mistake, but do it right. None of this fancy shallackered wood with metal rails crap.

 

A simple pine box. Something bio degradable. Eventually ide like to be dirt. Everyone is happy as my grave will eventually be usable real estate again.

 

There is a way to do that and for the life of me, I can't remember what the program is called. Basically, you are not embalmed or anything. They wrap you in a shroud and bury you in a field of some kind - no casket. There are no markers but they keep track of where everyone is buried and you would know where your loved one is buried. It's all natural. Actually, I think it sounds cool. Crap, I wish I could remember what it's called!!

 

I don't know why people think death is creepy. Media I guess. If I was younger and had the money, I would enroll in a mortuary science college. I find the whole thing fascinating. Gupton-Jones has a school off of I-20 that I've looked at on the internet but I can't afford to go to school and not work for 18 months. I let others talk me out of it when I was younger and I regret it now. (That and teaching home-economics - I should have done what the hell I wanted to do!) Sorry, I got off track there for a mintue.................

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Apparently NOT discussing it makes it go away and something we will never have to do. HOORAY FOR IMMORTALITY!!!!

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What one wishes done with their earthly remains is the most personal of decisions and no other living creature is qualified to judge.

 

I agree with the first part, but disagree with the second part. I think that it's a personal decision and they should be ABLE to be buried, cremated, whatever - BUT it's not off limits. I think that people should be considerate of future generations and not litter the countryside with their remains. They shouldn't put the expense of burial on their relatives and shouldn't put the upkeep on anyone else. They shouldn't hold up traffic and inconvenience hunrdeds of other people just because they didn't consider the other person when they made their plans.

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Really? I don't think I understand. You mean you had to put the ashes in a casket to bury them?

 

 

some people choose to do this... I had this same conversation with someone the other day.. and I could not understand why this had to be done.. I know the laws are really strict on what happens with the ashes after wards.

 

my husband and I have decided to be cremated.. and we have 5 burial plots LOL it is cheaper, and we do not won't anyone to have to worry with the up keep of our grave.

 

plus i want to be scattered in the mountains.. :pardon:

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I too wish to be cremated for a few reasons. I come from a small family & my Mother died when I was 17. Eight years later my brother was murdered. I'm the only person that has ever put flowers on their graves. At times when I was struggling financially I would feel so guilty that their flowers needed to be changed. I don't want any of my loved ones to feel that stress about me. I don't feel any closer to my deceased loved ones being at their graves. I carry them in my heart and I have special places we shared memories together that mean so much more than their graves. The 2nd reason is of course the price. I will already be in heaven at that point, do what you will with my body.

I've lost a LOT of family members. I can tell you the "best" funeral I've gone to was my Grandmothers who was cremated. There was no crying over her body. It was like a celebration of her life. It was very comforting.

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some people choose to do this... I had this same conversation with someone the other day.. and I could not understand why this had to be done.. I know the laws are really strict on what happens with the ashes after wards.

 

my husband and I have decided to be cremated.. and we have 5 burial plots LOL it is cheaper, and we do not won't anyone to have to worry with the up keep of our grave.

 

plus i want to be scattered in the mountains.. :pardon:

My step-son's was out of state. Maybe it was law to have the casket for cremation there? I didnt think of that. We were able to bring his ashes home with us. The airport security was very respectful, but did have to wipe it with some pad to make sure there was nothing coming out of it.

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I put flowers on my fathers grave whenever I am in that neck of the woods, but I dont feel guilty about it. He's dead, I doubt he needs any flowers. The flowers are for me.

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For me, cremation is the most selfless choice available. I want the parts that can be re-used to be donated. I want my ashes to be scattered some place my children think is fun and exotic.

 

I never want my children to spend holidays at a cemetery, talking to a headstone. If they feel the need to be close to my remains they can go on vacation and enjoy themselves. Someone said earlier that funerals are for the living. Yes, and I want my family to go on living happily, instead of mourning in a cemetery a couple times a year.

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Apparently NOT discussing it makes it go away and something we will never have to do. HOORAY FOR IMMORTALITY!!!!

You are exactly right! :lol:

 

I just don't like to think about it or talk about it. I tend to not dwell on morbid things that will happen in the future, or things I cannot change. I just dont like it. Now I will leave this thread. :lol:

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For me, cremation is the most selfless choice available. I want the parts that can be re-used to be donated. I want my ashes to be scattered some place my children think is fun and exotic.

 

I never want my children to spend holidays at a cemetery, talking to a headstone. If they feel the need to be close to my remains they can go on vacation and enjoy themselves. Someone said earlier that funerals are for the living. Yes, and I want my family to go on living happily, instead of mourning in a cemetery a couple times a year.

 

How is robbing the soil of the valuable nutrients your corpse would provide it with for future generations to use more selfless? Before you croak find a corn field and build a cheap box out of particle board. Thats what Im gonna do.

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How is robbing the soil of the valuable nutrients your corpse would provide it with for future generations to use more selfless? Before you croak find a corn field and build a cheap box out of particle board. Thats what Im gonna do.

 

 

make sure you file your permits!

 

burying someone on private property isn't easy. or even legal in some states.

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working in a church where cremation is favored has sort of changed my viewpoint. I grew up thinking that the only way was to have a casket, be buried and that was that. You knew how much someone was loved by how mnay flowers showed up (don't say I'm wrong, because at funerals in the south, that is often how people see it). However, the particular denomination I currently work for doesn't really do flowers (only flowers on the altar are permitted at the actual church I work in) and folks are often cremated and their ashes are buried in a memorial garden. It's actually quite nice. It makes for a more simple service, one that celebrates the life of the person, but doesn't take away from it by all the "extras" that often are part of our funeral culture in the south. I've really gotten a different perspective and would personally be ok with cremation.

 

I deal with the cremains when they come from the funeral home and I also deal with the funeral home directors, etc. and know the differences in cost from one to another (here, which is not PC). It is quite amazing to look at the cost differences.

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make sure you file your permits!

 

burying someone on private property isn't easy. or even legal in some states.

 

Yes, in some places the body must be embalmed if it is not going to be cremated right away.

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make sure you file your permits!

 

burying someone on private property isn't easy. or even legal in some states.

 

And theyre going to know where I am buried how?

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And theyre going to know where I am buried how?

 

 

if by 'they' you mean the government....a funeral director will have to disclose that information in order to obtain a death certificate.

Edited by NC-17

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I just remembered what I couldn't remember before. It's called a "green cemetary" and there is one in Conyers owned by the monestary (sp?) I hope they have one somewhere in Illinois because that's what I want when I die.

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And theyre going to know where I am buried how?

My father was cremated, and his ashes were scattered by his children from a boat on his beloved Chesapeake Bay, Maryland. My mother was cremated and her ashes were scattered on the top of a very special mountain in New Hampshire, by her children, as to her wishes. Were we allowed to climb the mountain to scatter her ashes in the wind at the top? Probably not, dont care. I myself will be cremated and I want my ashes to be part of either a beautiful wildflower meadow, or an Audubon Sanctuary...

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When my mother died we "borrowed" a casket from the funeral home for the viewing. Then we had to purchase a "casket" (a really strong cardboard box) that she was transported to the crematorium in and she was cremated in that. At the time we were told it was a state law. My sisters even went with her body to the crematorium. They told us what would happen and we picked up the ashes (cremains) a couple of days later. They are in a beautiful jewelry looking box now that my sisters take turns keeping. I knew from the minute that she left her body that my Mama wasn't there anymore. I think everyone in my family has chosen to be cremated. it is much less expensive, and doesn't take up ground space. It isn't nice to think about being cremated, but being buried in a box under 6 feet of dirt doesn't sound so spiffy either. lol. If you have ever spent anytime with a dead body, you realize, it is an empty shell and it won't care what you do with it. We celebrated our Mama's life and her escape from the pain she was in by going to her favorite restaurant (Red Lobster) eating and talking about her and how much she enriched our lives.

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i'd love to encourage everyone to explore this link.

 

it's the choice that my parents and myself have already made.

 

Genesis Legacy

 

 

I was just discussing donating my body to science with my mother yesterday. I have never wanted a funeral or to be buried in the ground. I will be dead so I honestly dont care what they do with my remains; they might as well be donated for a good cause.

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Mom took care of her final arrangements, as will we. Cremation has nothing to do with being "considerate" it has everything to do with what you want. Unless you are young and of course have not thought of these things, then it becomes what your family wishes.

 

My decision has nothing to do with being "considerate" it has every thing to do with my beliefs.

 

Just a quick question, would you suggest this to a Holocaust survivor?

 

There are just some things that "the good or considerate for everyone else" should not be considered.

Edited by gog8tors

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