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Oh N, I am sory that you have so many issues with your inlaws, as you know I have ALWAYS got along with my inlaws, and my MIL, I love her dearly, we are best friends. WE got along better than my "real" womb rental and I do. My "real" one is the psych ward mentalist!!

 

I wish you lots of luck when they come to visit.

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Oh N, I am sory that you have so many issues with your inlaws, as you know I have ALWAYS got along with my inlaws, and my MIL, I love her dearly, we are best friends. WE got along better than my "real" womb rental and I do. My "real" one is the psych ward mentalist!!

 

I wish you lots of luck when they come to visit.

Thanks, girl! You have been very blessed with your MIL! She is very sweet!!

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SO, In YOUR opinion, I should let my kids go home with them KNOWING she is mentally unstable? If anything happened while my kids are there it would take me AT LEAST 10 HOURS to get to them and I would NOT be willing to take that chance. They can have visitation, at MY house with ME and my HUSBAND present. If my hubby doesn't trust his own mother with our kids, why the hell should I?

 

We do not discuss my in laws "issues" in front of our kids. They think they don't come visit often b/c my MIL has back problems, which is the truth. We don't visit them b/c we have 4 kids and 2 dogs, mix that with my husband working FULL TIME + OT and 2 of my kids being in school/dance/gymnastics. They are RETIRED and have nothing but time. My FIL would rather go fishing than visit his own SON & GRANDCHILDREN...We have told him countless times that we do have lakes here that he can fish at but he "doesn't want to buy a GA fishing license" he's too cheap. And yes, we have offered to buy it for him!

 

It's THEIR loss that they are not involved in my kid's lives.

 

The door swings both ways. You sound like a lot of daughter in laws. You may have mental issues one day and what comes around goes around. Your hubby will be fishing alot too.

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The door swings both ways. You sound like a lot of daughter in laws. You may have mental issues one day and what comes around goes around. Your hubby will be fishing alot too.

Let me get this straight... you're saying she should put her kids in a potentially unsafe situation where she will be very far away "just in case" she becomes mentally unstable one day?

 

I think YOU'RE off your rocker, lady.

 

 

I've been blessed with wonderful in-laws. We've had our ups and downs, but I love them and they're my family. None of them would ever put my kids in danger; however and would protect them as I would.

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The door swings both ways. You sound like a lot of daughter in laws. You may have mental issues one day and what comes around goes around. Your hubby will be fishing alot too.

 

 

 

 

Okay, just becuase you allowed your children to be with a child molester (AKA your step-dad)does not mean we have to make that same mistake. You are old school, when children were to be seen and not heard, and DIL's counted on their husbands to be the only income. You are way off on this one, mentally unstable is a HUGH deal! I would not hand my children over to a sexual predator or a pysh patience that is a neighbor why and HELL would I hand them over to inlaws who are the same.

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The door swings both ways. You sound like a lot of daughter in laws. You may have mental issues one day and what comes around goes around. Your hubby will be fishing alot too.

I get the feeling that YOUR husband may fish a lot.

 

You may feel comfortable sending your kids 10 hours away to be with a mentally unstable person but I do NOT! One day my kids may understand our decision and respect us for PROTECTING them instead of having to question WHY we put them in a potentially harmful and dangerous situation. What effect would it have on them if Nana decides to attempt suicide again while they're there or tries to harm them in one of her depressive episodes???

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I agree 100%. If I had even had an inkling that my FIL had done what he did, my kids would NEVER have been allowed to be around him again. NEVER.

 

Sad to think that those of my generation were told from a very young age that we needed to be wary of strangers when it is FAMILY who causes the most problems.

 

A mother has to do whatever is necessary to protect her children. If that means not allowing those children to have contact with their grandparents, so be it. I wish I had known I wasn't doing everything necessary to protect mine. I thought I WAS protecting mine because I thought there was no way in hell my MIL would allow my FIL to do anything to HER GRANDCHILDREN. Boy, was I wrong! Just for the record, one of the times my FIL molested our youngest, we (my husband and I) were in the HOUSE at the time!! We had no clue it was happening as we were sitting and talking with my MIL in the living room.

 

But, there is a HUGE, HUGE difference in being a mental patient and being a child molester or sexual predator. HUGE difference.

 

Okay, just becuase you allowed your children to be with a child molester (AKA your step-dad)does not mean we have to make that same mistake. You are old school, when children were to be seen and not heard, and DIL's counted on their husbands to be the only income. You are way off on this one, mentally unstable is a HUGH deal! I would not hand my children over to a sexual predator or a pysh patience that is a neighbor why and HELL would I hand them over to inlaws who are the same.

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I get the feeling that YOUR husband may fish a lot.

 

You may feel comfortable sending your kids 10 hours away to be with a mentally unstable person but I do NOT! One day my kids may understand our decision and respect us for PROTECTING them instead of having to question WHY we put them in a potentially harmful and dangerous situation. What effect would it have on them if Nana decides to attempt suicide again while they're there or tries to harm them in one of her depressive episodes???

Never regret that decision. It'd be a whole lot more difficult to forgive yourself if one of your babies was harmed than it is to forgive yourself for being a "bad" daughter in law.

 

It's an easy choice.

 

I agree 100%. If I had even had an inkling that my FIL had done what he did, my kids would NEVER have been allowed to be around him again. NEVER.

 

Sad to think that those of my generation were told from a very young age that we needed to be wary of strangers when it is FAMILY who causes the most problems.

 

A mother has to do whatever is necessary to protect her children. If that means not allowing those children to have contact with their grandparents, so be it. I wish I had known I wasn't doing everything necessary to protect mine. I thought I WAS protecting mine because I thought there was no way in hell my MIL would allow my FIL to do anything to HER GRANDCHILDREN. Boy, was I wrong! Just for the record, one of the times my FIL molested our youngest, we (my husband and I) were in the HOUSE at the time!! We had no clue it was happening as we were sitting and talking with my MIL in the living room.

 

But, there is a HUGE, HUGE difference in being a mental patient and being a child molester or sexual predator. HUGE difference.

Gosh, I'm so sorry. :(

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Don't get me wrong, I agree with your decision not to send your kids to stay with the in-laws. However, unless she has tried in the past to harm them during a depressive episode, that isn't likely to happen. Depressed people generally don't harm others, though they may harm themselves. Depression normally does not equate to psychotic behavior.

 

I can't imagine what your kids would go through if their grandmother attempted suicide while they were there. Your decision to keep them from her is wise.

 

I get the feeling that YOUR husband may fish a lot.

 

You may feel comfortable sending your kids 10 hours away to be with a mentally unstable person but I do NOT! One day my kids may understand our decision and respect us for PROTECTING them instead of having to question WHY we put them in a potentially harmful and dangerous situation. What effect would it have on them if Nana decides to attempt suicide again while they're there or tries to harm them in one of her depressive episodes???

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Don't get me wrong, I agree with your decision not to send your kids to stay with the in-laws. However, unless she has tried in the past to harm them during a depressive episode, that isn't likely to happen. Depressed people generally don't harm others, though they may harm themselves. Depression normally does not equate to psychotic behavior.

 

I can't imagine what your kids would go through if their grandmother attempted suicide while they were there. Your decision to keep them from her is wise.

Well, the way I see it, you NEVER know what a person is capable of. I am not willing to take that chance with my kids. It was terrifying when my FIL called my husband and said "come get them NOW, your mother is having a nervous breakdown". We were only 3hrs away and if felt like it took forever to get to them. I can not imagine how 10 hours would feel. If they want to come HERE and take them to the Zoo or a park or the aquarium, that is another story.

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that is true. You never know what a person is capable of doing, but the fact remains that most people who are depressed don't hurt others. Depressed people are generally not psychotic. They may, and often do, hurt themselves. BTDTGTTS.

 

I do agree 100% with your decision to protect the kids. And whatever it takes to protect them. Again, BTDTGTTS.

 

Well, the way I see it, you NEVER know what a person is capable of. I am not willing to take that chance with my kids. It was terrifying when my FIL called my husband and said "come get them NOW, your mother is having a nervous breakdown". We were only 3hrs away and if felt like it took forever to get to them. I can not imagine how 10 hours would feel. If they want to come HERE and take them to the Zoo or a park or the aquarium, that is another story.

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My original MIL was...interesting to deal with. I loved her, to death, but there was a definite clash in personalities and lifestyles. I chalked it up to her being from the north and me being very, very southern. She thought I was rude the first time she met me because I walked in the room and said 'Hey ya'll!' instead of individually greeting everybody. :blush: I was just raised that way...and I was only 16 at the time. When her son screwed up and I was in tears over our ending marriage, she was right there on the phone listening to me, calming me down, and giving me the 'he's just like his father' speech. 2.5 years later, I'm evil. :rolleyes: I've called her two Mother's Days in a row and been sent to voicemail and never called or texted back after I left a sweet message. Did I mention she's not a very good grandmother, either? Never picked the little one up for anything...not once. For the first five years, she saw her at Christmas and *maybe* once or twice when we went over there....and she lives in Douglasville. She sees her more now that the ex lives out that way, but still only a handfull of times a year. Never once showed up to a birthday party, either.

 

Now, the soon-to-be MIL is another story. She's brash, opinionated, loud-mouthed...and happens to absolutely adore me. I've known her since I was 16, also. I talk to her every day, several times a day, about everything from curtains to sex. Years and years ago, she once told me that she wished her son and I were together instead of with our then-spouses. When it happened, she was the first person we called (and she screamed. :rolleyes::lol:). She was at a Slumber Party I did for her sister back in the fall and was the most open of the whole group despite the fact that I was the consultant. Does she get on my nerves? Sometimes. Who doesn't? She would probably get on my nerves more often if she wasn't 4 hours away in Mystic. I do, however, consider her one of my closest friends. ♥

 

 

You're in Connecticut? If your MIL is in Mystic do you know where Pawcatuck is (right down the road from Mystic like you are going to Westerly, Rhode Island). That is where I grew up from new born until 12. Small world if that is where she is at. LOL

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I adore my in-laws and have a great relationship with them. My husband and I both say we scored on the in-law front! :wub:

You are very blessed! I really wish there could be a drama-free relationship. No matter how nice and "on my best behavior" I try to be, she takes offense to something...see the comment about eating at Buffalo's, I thought I was doing what was best for all involed. No matter what I do, even with the best intentions, it's not right. Sometimes it's hard to keep trying to please.

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I get the feeling that YOUR husband may fish a lot.

 

You may feel comfortable sending your kids 10 hours away to be with a mentally unstable person but I do NOT! One day my kids may understand our decision and respect us for PROTECTING them instead of having to question WHY we put them in a potentially harmful and dangerous situation. What effect would it have on them if Nana decides to attempt suicide again while they're there or tries to harm them in one of her depressive episodes???

:rofl: :rofl:

 

Funniest thing I've seen on here in a long time.

 

You're in Connecticut? If your MIL is in Mystic do you know where Pawcatuck is (right down the road from Mystic like you are going to Westerly, Rhode Island). That is where I grew up from new born until 12. Small world if that is where she is at. LOL

 

Nope! Mystic, Georgia. :blush:

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Let me get this straight... you're saying she should put her kids in a potentially unsafe situation where she will be very far away "just in case" she becomes mentally unstable one day?

 

I think YOU'RE off your rocker, lady.

 

 

I've been blessed with wonderful in-laws. We've had our ups and downs, but I love them and they're my family. None of them would ever put my kids in danger; however and would protect them as I would.

:good: :good: :good: :good: :good: :good: EXACTLY!!! I'm going to put my kids in danger just not to hurt the feelings of my whacked out MIL....YEA...I DON'T THINK SO!!!!!

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Well, the MIL called back (see earlier post that she'd left a message Saturday). She tried our home number and before I could "click" over with call waiting, she was gone. She called my husband to report that I obviously wouldn't answer because I knew it was her. Then - on to her "exciting news" - My husbands cousin, who he hasn't seen but one time in 15 years (and that was 15 years ago-they rarely saw each other as children) has adopted a baby from China and she wanted to give my husband the link so that my 12 year old could see a picture of his new (what 3rd or 4th?) cousin. And, of course, she's hoping that this baby isn't a "mongoloid - you know China ships their defective babies to unsuspecting Americans". My husband told her thanks for the news just to get her off of the phone - but, no, she wanted him to promise to show the website to my son. Who in the world thinks a 12 year old boy is interested in the adoption of a baby he will never meet by people he doesn't know exist?

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Well, the MIL called back (see earlier post that she'd left a message Saturday). She tried our home number and before I could "click" over with call waiting, she was gone. She called my husband to report that I obviously wouldn't answer because I knew it was her. Then - on to her "exciting news" - My husbands cousin, who he hasn't seen but one time in 15 years (and that was 15 years ago-they rarely saw each other as children) has adopted a baby from China and she wanted to give my husband the link so that my 12 year old could see a picture of his new (what 3rd or 4th?) cousin. And, of course, she's hoping that this baby isn't a "mongoloid - you know China ships their defective babies to unsuspecting Americans". My husband told her thanks for the news just to get her off of the phone - but, no, she wanted him to promise to show the website to my son. Who in the world thinks a 12 year old boy is interested in the adoption of a baby he will never meet by people he doesn't know exist?

What are these people thinking? Today I took MIL to a dr appt and while we were waiting she commented that she liked my purse...then in a super nasty tone she said, 'I guess those front pockets are for your cigarettes'. OK...I'm 47 years old and have NEVER ONCE IN MY LIFE smoked a cigarette. She has only known me for 28 years, GEEEZ!

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