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Trust Issues


bwitchy

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I can openly admit that I have trust issues. As much as I would love to be more open and allow people to come closer, I simply can not bring myself to do it. :nea: I'm suspicious by nature. :ninja: I've been burned too many times by people whom I thought I could trust, and I'm simply not willing to allow myself to be vulnerable like that again. -_- I suppose the "once bitten/ twice shy" rule applies.

 

Now, I don't think that makes me a "bad" person or even an unusual person in today's society, but it does have me thinking. How often do we miss out on a great opportunity b/c of the trust baggage we continue to lug with us? How often do we push someone away or snap up a wall emotionally because of those trust issues? I know, speaking for myself, it's quite frequently. I just can't help myself although it IS something on which I've been working--self-improvement if you will. I do realize that this suspicion/lack of trust is a choice, and I suppose it's something with which I am willing to live... for now...or else the behavior would have been abandoned. However, it doesn't make me doubt myself any less. (Perhaps my suspicious nature extends even to myself--I've certainly given myself enough reasons NOT to trust me. :blink: :lol: )

 

In any event, I guess I just have some regrets with respect to trusting/ not trusting, and I was wondering if others did as well. :pardon: If nothing else, perhaps this is an area in which more reflection/ meditation is needed. :unsure:

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Have you ever heard that saying that goes something like you get from folks what you expect of them?

I completely get trust issues and I can almost assure you that even if you expect better at times you will be hurt or the trust will be broken but if you keep trucking along expecting to find the good and the trustworthy eventually you will have a lot more of that in your life than the other:-) My HO anyway.

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Yep, yep, double yep.

 

Even worse than not trusting people - I don't trust happiness, of all things. When things start going great, or are going great, I either hold my breath, keep watch over my shoulder, or simply bail out. Most of the time I just bail out. Throughout my entire life, anything happy has always ended in heartbreak or extreme hurt and disappointment. So, when I'm happy now I'm still waiting for the other shoe to drop. I have a very 'I'm going to get the hell out of here before you shatter what's left of me into pieces' approach to trusting people and situations...and I've only recently began to understand it.

On top of that, I have HR. Even the couple of things I've been willing to chance my heart with, I've refused to chance hers and walked away anyway. I'm scared of her going through what I went through as a child, so even when I'm not scared or distrusting with the outcome of my own heart, I still bail. :rolleyes:

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