….feel free to jump in, it makes me look less crazy when there’s someone else involved in the conversation.
A conversation I had while in a dentist's chair sprang to mind. I’m not sure what triggered it, but there it was, just as fresh as years ago when it happened. That’s very possibly an entire other problem, or symptom of one, best left for some other time. But the eventual memory trigger point of the conversation came when I used the words “up until I became successful”. The second it came out of my mouth I was just mortified and realized a couple of things.
First was what a “void surrounded by a sphincter muscle” that must have sounded like to the lady. Second was that what I meant by it would never translate to someone that didn’t come up like I did, Hence the “void” sound. Immediately I set in to trying to explain myself, but it was most likely too late.
To my way of thinking, the day I became “successful” was the day I met certain criteria that in retrospect, I came up with all by myself and they would mean nothing to someone else. You’re gonna think I’m an idiot, and I’m sure she did too as I stumbled on myself trying to explain. Preface these with “The day I…”.
...got to the point I could eat anytime I was hungry.
...had a stable place to live that no one was going to take from me.
...could buy a pair of pants anytime the ones I had wore out.
...could get where I needed to go without constantly watching the mirror because of tags, insurance, etc.
None of that's an exaggeration. Honest to goodness, that to me was success. Don’t get me wrong. I ain’t crying here, cause everything on top of that has been gravy. I’m happy enough with my amount of gravy I reckon.
When did you “succeed”?