[fasn8nmom]

This evening I was at a visitation for a friend that was killed suddenly. While at the funeral home there were "guards" standing at each end of the casket for the deceased. This was done as a form of respect for his service with the National Guard, EMT's, fire dept and sheriffs dept. Every 15 min or so there is a "changing of the guards" so to speak. While I was there I noticed several flashes going off during the changing of the guards. I too found it very humbling and a great honor to have this done at this young man's funeral but picture taking? I just found that to be somewhat... I'm not sure I just don't think it was respectful of the family. IDK what is your opinion?

[i_have3dogs]

Pics are taken when a former president dies, and so is video.

[Riograce]

Is it possible that the photos were taken *by* family members, or at the request of the family?

I personally find it distasteful, but there are people who take pictures at visitations and consider it perfectly OK. I hope that the photographers had the permission of the family to take those photos. If so, fine - if not, shame on them.

This post has been edited by Riograce: 28 March 2012 - 09:56 PM

[fasn8nmom]

i_have3dogs, on 28 March 2012 - 09:24 PM, said:

Pics are taken when a former president dies, and so is video.

You are absolutely right. For some reason though I see that as more of a historical event. I realize that they have family and friends as well but for some reason in my little mind I just see it differently.

[fasn8nmom]

Riograce, on 28 March 2012 - 09:54 PM, said:

Is it possible that the photos were taken *by* family members, or at the request of the family?

I personally find it distasteful, but there are people who take pictures at visitations and consider it perfectly OK. I hope that the photographers had the permission of the family to take those photos. If so, fine - if not, shame on them.

Rio- it may well have been at the request of the family I can't say either way. I agree if it was the families wishes then fine. For me personally though I too find it distasteful.

[BACONFMLY03]

My grandmother insists on taking pics of everyone in the family that dies. The first time she done it (that I know of) was when my grandfather passed away I was 13 at the time I thought it was horrible. She not only takes pics of the deceased but she insists on having a "family" pic with the person in the coffin in the mix. It has always creeped me out. My aunt (her daughter) couldn't stand looking at a deceased person when my grandfather passed she never went to the coffin to look at her own dad. My grandmother did take pics and forced her to be in the photo my aunt is on the end looking as far away from the camera that she could. My aunt recently passed back in October and my grandmother again insisted on having pics of my aunt and the family. The whole time I am thinking that my aunt would of been so pissed that it was happening. I don't get the point of it personally I don't want to remember them that way I want to remember them when they were alive. I think my mom is going to carry on this tradition I don't see myself doing that.

[bp csr]

Maybe there was a family member who couldn't be at the funeral due to illness, distance or some other reason. I don't think it's appropriate to take pictures of the deceased, but maybe it was to show the person who couldn't attend the way that the deceased was being honored upon his death. I guess it's a matter of preference for some folks, too.

[GGinGA]

I think it's kind of a weird thing to do. My mom always said people can't "rest" if you take thier picture when they are dead. But to each his own.

[grumps]

I do not know if it is right or wrong, but I do find it rather macabre. My wife had a cousin who has a billfold full of pictures of deceased relatives in their coffins. She carried that thing with her at all times!

[momof 3]

fasn8nmom, on 28 March 2012 - 09:21 PM, said:

This evening I was at a visitation for a friend that was killed suddenly. While at the funeral home there were "guards" standing at each end of the casket for the deceased. This was done as a form of respect for his service with the National Guard, EMT's, fire dept and sheriffs dept. Every 15 min or so there is a "changing of the guards" so to speak. While I was there I noticed several flashes going off during the changing of the guards. I too found it very humbling and a great honor to have this done at this young man's funeral but picture taking? I just found that to be somewhat... I'm not sure I just don't think it was respectful of the family. IDK what is your opinion?

I'm conflicted on this one. My knee jerk reaction is 'NO WAY'. But if it helps a close family member find closure on some level, then so be it. 'Close family member' being the operative words here.

Thats not to say that any Joe visitor with a camera sound be snapping pics for their own reasons, that could become sticky real fast and very unwelcome.

[LisaC]

To each his own... It's not something I would do or participate in, but if that's what others want to do, that's up to them.

[spacey74]

i wanted to take a picture of my grandmother. She was laid to rest in her Cherokee indian dress. But I couldnt get myself to do it! No one was allow to see the dress until the day she died, so it was kindof neat, in a strange way!

[A Gipper Girl]

I think it is extrememly tacky and very disrespectful. You know, most churches wont allow photographers(professionals)to take flash pics during the wedding ceremony. I dont think a wake or funeral should be any different.

As far as the Presidential thing, there IS protocol for it. Photos and video arent allowed just anytime during the wake, precession or funeral. When I last visited Arlington Cemetery in DC, they have rules even there on photography, especially at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier and the changing of the guard.

It's definitely tacky, IMO.