Thanks for answering that...I meant to ask. I was wondering if you meant satan by the XXXXX. Much more logical that the other kid told him.
Who are his favorite characters? What does he like best about Star Wars?
You are kidding right? Start with the "S" and finish with the "s" and add everything in between. That is what he likes best about "S"tar War"s"!!
He is playing Battle Front right now as we get ready for his appointment. He goes "I Killed him!!! I killed count Duoku!!" I do not know if I should be proud or afraid... But he just loves all things related to the Clone Troopers. Not to be confused with the Storm Troopers.
Mr. Dis offers Professional, Reliable lawn care for all of your home's needs. Please PM for a free Quote.
I'm a Uber Hottie... LGM say's so...
I hearby give credit to the Phoenicians for the Phoenician alphabet in all my writings on PCOM
Well, you have found someone who went through the same thing with my older daughter. First of all -god bless you cause you're going to need it!!. You are doing all the right things, but when I did them it didn't work.I don't mean to sound so negative, but honey- I HAVE BEEN THERE
Eventually, the state took her away as incorigable, but not until I lost my sanity, peace of mind, husband, self esteem-the list goes on. It took me years to find myself again. I still have little nerosis like i can't seem to go out and get my mail from the mailbox (years of DEFAC letters ordering me to court, counseling, jail-yes jail!!!) I have mail box phobia. Gov't green rooms make me feel sick to my stomach. Stupid stuff like that.
The turning point for me was when the state came to take away my youngest child. "She" had been picked up (again) by the police. She was shoplifting. She also had been gone for weeks as a runaway. So, the story was "Oh, poor me!! My mom threw me out and i have to shop lift to survive and feed myself" Really, so that's why you stole sun tan lotion (no food). Every police jurisdiction in town had to put up with me crying at the police chiefs desk, pleading for them to find my daughter before something happens to her!!!
Many months , a lot of money, and finally a kind Pro Bona upscale lawyer who like going after DEFAC for stuff like this, I was cleared of any wrong doing, and she was taken in to a program-well, many programs because as each one figured out that they could not help her, they passed her on to someone else. There was the one where the cook stabbed her in the hand-poor woman had never come up against someone like her-she lost her job and pension. Still, she was lucky-it could have been worse. At the next place, a counselor helped her to run away and he put her up at his house FOOL. She played him like a fine fiddle!!!!!!! He lost his job, his wife ( yes he was married) his kids, the rest of his family, and his freedonm cause he went to jail. There was the incident with a huge (I really mean HUGE ) black scorpion found in another inmates bed - the one she had just had a big fight with. Then there was the court proceedings where i was ordered to allow SIBLING VISITATION of her 5 year old sister. She not only orchestrated the whole thing, but made those state lawyers dance like puppets on her strings. Seems inocent - huh? Well, she was residing in the Lantana Woman's State Correctional facility - no, she wasn't an adult, but they put the worst of the juviniles in the middle of the place-surounded by gaurds with guns and razor wire everywhere. You had to undergo a strip and body cavity seardh to visit-my baby had to undergo a BODY CAVITY SEARCH!! I still see red when I think of it.I took pictures, went back to court, and eventually won the right not to have to visit her there. Imagine having to go to court to NOT HAVE TO VISIT your child. Phycologically scarring at best!! At least my little one did not have to have her privates probbed by a woman who looked like she was enjoying it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My favorite memory of her crap was the Berean Christion school people. I wanted to put her in a progressive open private school - the public school system had enough of her! So, we visited many schools, and one super strict Basptist one- to give her perspective! She choose the Berean one-couldn't change her mind ( or she just wouldn't go anyway) At the time I thought it was because they had nice uniforms-pink and grey-such a girly thing to do!! But no, her plan was much more devious. She immediately got baptized, convinced the pastor and his wife and the church elders that we were sinners hell bent on taking her with us.They bombarded us with "visits" where they went through our house with a fine tooth comb searching for what? Who knows-something she told them was there. I got phone calls every day from irate people telling me i was working with the devil-I was, they just had not figured out who SHE was.I could go on, but I won't. It's to painful even after all these years. Lets just say that there was a bright moment in that one. Eventually - 3 months actually, which is the longest she could ever last before being found out and figured out - the pastor and his wife came to me ( wouldn't let them on the property!!)and stood there in the street and aplogized. Their son was drinking alchohol and taking drugs ( she had a convert- how nice) several kids were in counseling for the problems she caused ( I know what they are) he almost lost his pastorship, several parents were trying counseling before divorce-(HMMM don't know the particulars on that one, but I can imagine) They asked for my forgiveness, which I gave, somewhat reluctantly-i was still so wounded and mentally overwrought by the whold experience. And oh-the junior pastor - where she lived for a while with him and his wife-seeking comfort and counseling for her terrible childhood - did get a divorce.
So, i can't give you anything positive to hope for. It only gets worse-sorry. I can give you some comfort, a shoulder to cry on, some advice based on experience, and these words-RUN, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!. Does the word Sociopath mean anyuthing to you-it should. He is really bad, even for a 9 year old, and he will get bigger, stronger, angrier. I was beat up constantly by my daughter ( that was because of the Karate classes designed to teach her self control - she had control all right!!) Look for the help you need-I wish I had tried a few more things- like boot camp, but i didn't. I thought all the counseling and love would "cure" her. it didn't.
I know all you Pcommers are looking at this in alarm, even disgust, but have never been there. YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THIS IS LIKE. i am generally a positive person, helpful where ever i can, kind and compassionate. Please do not judge me by this post-this woman needs help, a kind of help you couldn't even begin to understand. I didn't even talk about the really serious stuff, the most painful moments, the most damaging things.
Where is my lovely daughter now-WELLLL-she abandoned her 1st child. Thankfully, her father is raising her. Her second child is here with me. I am raising him because no one else would. I LOVE that little man. He is everything his mother never was or could be. He is kind and compassionate, loving and giving, good- no GREAT in school. A Boy Scout headed for an Eagle Award - I am sure of it. He is the only reason I have to stop myself when I wish she were never born!!!! Without her, I would not have the honor or pleasure of knowing him. I would not have found the healing in knowing that it was not me- I am a good parent- I do a great job as a mom!! i am not a failure! I am crying now though-and can't see the screen.
Ok- I'm over the crying again-it happens sometimes. There is a scar that runs deep from that one! Let me finish---the last pregnancey she came to me with, was little Landy. He wasn't born yet, and sadly, I couldn't raise another one-especially one born with multiple problems. Oh, no one knew the problems yet, but i knew they would be there. She hadn't been to the doctor once throughout the pregnancy ( but DEFAC did approve massages for her-still don't get that one) and was on drugs the whole time. I found him some parents who wanted him, and he is their only child, and since both were professionals, they had great insurance-something I did not have being self employed. He is about 7 now-I do not see him. The parents moved far away. There is a lot more to that story, but it would take all day.
Oh, that's right-where is she now? probably in jail somewhere around Atlanta-she's been in every one at least once. She could be living on the street again-hooking, doing pornography, hanging with the gangs-(I'd love to tell you all the story about visiting her and finding myuself alone, unarmed, and surrounded by punks who wanted my money - or something else) I got out of it unscathed - something I can't say about the rest of my dealings with her. She's doing drugs, selling drugs, and maybe even making drugs- oh hell, of coarse she's making them. the girl was brillant-a genius!!, but she only used her brain to hurt others and cause trouble where ever she goes. She makes State Farm's "MAYHEM" look nice. As a matter of fact mayhem is her middle name, trouble is her first, and disaster is the last. Do you see the scars I bear? Do you have any idea how it feels to be a loving mother who thinks that way?
Do me a favor, and just call me. I'll PM you with my #-don't want the nasty phone calls from people who have no idea what this is like. Get yourself in a support group, find counseling for yourself-you're going to need it. I will pray for you-maybe an exorcism would do something? I often wonder about that ? didn't try that either-should have!!
I have met you, and you are a wonderful, loving soul. I wonder if these are some of the same things, or close to them that my mom went through with one of my brothers. :give_rose:You deserve a whole bouquet.
Mr. Dis, you and yours are in my prayers.
Happy Birthday to all 1973 babies. Tell your mom how much you love her!!!
You are kidding right? Start with the "S" and finish with the "s" and add everything in between. That is what he likes best about "S"tar War"s"!!
He is playing Battle Front right now as we get ready for his appointment. He goes "I Killed him!!! I killed count Duoku!!" I do not know if I should be proud or afraid... But he just loves all things related to the Clone Troopers. Not to be confused with the Storm Troopers.
I can speak from experience as a child with talents and gifts that were different than my parents. My parents were practical. We used to call my mom Mrs. Clean---as in a female version of the Mr. Clean commercials. I was artistic and creative (art and writng, etc.)
Anyway the important part is VALUE and nurture your son and his interests, talents, etc., whatever they are. Basically my mother wanted me to be like her and it showed. I can understand better now as an adult but as a child I felt devalued because of it.
Also, for parents who are more practical and have a child that is more of the creative type it might help to understand that:
Art, creativity, etc. = oxygen (Which is a simplified version and not exactly true but close enough to give you some ideas.)
I tried that one-took out everything but the bed. Even took off the door. i was almost arrested and hauled to court for depriving her of her privacy. didn't matter that she was trying to burn the house dopwn with us in it.
Wow. That took a lot of guts to lay it out there like you did, but I bet it was relief to get it out.
I think nothing more about you other than you are a kind and giving person. I can't imagine what you have been through, the anger, frustration, exasperation and guilt.
Bless your heart and I sincerely mean that. Hopefully all of your scars will heal and you will know that you did the very best you could, especially with such a difficult and horrific situation.
We do the best we can with what we have and then we have to let go. It's not easy being a parent but you were given a huge challenge and I think you met that challenge.
I'll just say WOW to this. I hope that you are able to overcome the scars and troubles left you by her. I have no doubt that children can do this, as well as adults. I pray every night that we can get through to Dis jr. and that he will catch up with his peers and at least become a reasonable self suficiant adult. I see the military as a great choice for him if he can just get over the authority issues he seems to have. Maybe in their EOD field. But I have to get him through school first.
I think it's good that you are able to see him as adult being able to succeed.
Also, I would help him explore HIS strengths and encourage them. He might be suited to work in a field that is more creative than some.
Wow. That took a lot of guts to lay it out there like you did, but I bet it was relief to get it out.
I think nothing more about you other than you are a kind and giving person. I can't imagine what you have been through, the anger, frustration, exasperation and guilt.
Bless your heart and I sincerely mean that. Hopefully all of your scars will heal and you will know that you did the very best you could, especially with such a difficult and horrific situation.
We do the best we can with what we have and then we have to let go. It's not easy being a parent but you were given a huge challenge and I think you met that challenge.
Every time I see your name I will say a prayer.
And for Mr Dis too.
I have learned that getting it out is healing. I also would like to help the others going through this to know they are not to blame. I have found my peace in this world. I do not ever see my daughter, and never want to again. I am not strong enough to go through it again.
I have learned that getting it out is healing. I also would like to help the others going through this to know they are not to blame. I have found my peace in this world. I do not ever see my daughter, and never want to again. I am not strong enough to go through it again.
Again, I'm so sorry.
I have a 35 YO son that I have to keep at a distance. He just creates too much chaos in my heart and it's better not to see him.
After reading these posts and shedding tears for the parents and children, I'm not so concerned anymore that 4th grader didn't get all of his dirty clothes up yesterday like I asked him to. I can't imagine the grief and I'm sending good wishes to everyone.
After reading these posts and shedding tears for the parents and children, I'm not so concerned anymore that 4th grader didn't get all of his dirty clothes up yesterday like I asked him to. I can't imagine the grief and I'm sending good wishes to everyone.
My feelings exactly. I am going through some things with my teenage son but they seem like nothing compared to these posts. I wonder if there were signs of problems when they were very young or if something happened medically (prescription meds or diet) that caused a change.
Well, you have found someone who went through the same thing with my older daughter. First of all -god bless you cause you're going to need it!!. You are doing all the right things, but when I did them it didn't work.I don't mean to sound so negative, but honey- I HAVE BEEN THERE
Eventually, the state took her away as incorigable, but not until I lost my sanity, peace of mind, husband, self esteem-the list goes on. It took me years to find myself again. I still have little nerosis like i can't seem to go out and get my mail from the mailbox (years of DEFAC letters ordering me to court, counseling, jail-yes jail!!!) I have mail box phobia. Gov't green rooms make me feel sick to my stomach. Stupid stuff like that.
The turning point for me was when the state came to take away my youngest child. "She" had been picked up (again) by the police. She was shoplifting. She also had been gone for weeks as a runaway. So, the story was "Oh, poor me!! My mom threw me out and i have to shop lift to survive and feed myself" Really, so that's why you stole sun tan lotion (no food). Every police jurisdiction in town had to put up with me crying at the police chiefs desk, pleading for them to find my daughter before something happens to her!!!
Many months , a lot of money, and finally a kind Pro Bona upscale lawyer who like going after DEFAC for stuff like this, I was cleared of any wrong doing, and she was taken in to a program-well, many programs because as each one figured out that they could not help her, they passed her on to someone else. There was the one where the cook stabbed her in the hand-poor woman had never come up against someone like her-she lost her job and pension. Still, she was lucky-it could have been worse. At the next place, a counselor helped her to run away and he put her up at his house FOOL. She played him like a fine fiddle!!!!!!! He lost his job, his wife ( yes he was married) his kids, the rest of his family, and his freedonm cause he went to jail. There was the incident with a huge (I really mean HUGE ) black scorpion found in another inmates bed - the one she had just had a big fight with. Then there was the court proceedings where i was ordered to allow SIBLING VISITATION of her 5 year old sister. She not only orchestrated the whole thing, but made those state lawyers dance like puppets on her strings. Seems inocent - huh? Well, she was residing in the Lantana Woman's State Correctional facility - no, she wasn't an adult, but they put the worst of the juviniles in the middle of the place-surounded by gaurds with guns and razor wire everywhere. You had to undergo a strip and body cavity seardh to visit-my baby had to undergo a BODY CAVITY SEARCH!! I still see red when I think of it.I took pictures, went back to court, and eventually won the right not to have to visit her there. Imagine having to go to court to NOT HAVE TO VISIT your child. Phycologically scarring at best!! At least my little one did not have to have her privates probbed by a woman who looked like she was enjoying it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My favorite memory of her crap was the Berean Christion school people. I wanted to put her in a progressive open private school - the public school system had enough of her! So, we visited many schools, and one super strict Basptist one- to give her perspective! She choose the Berean one-couldn't change her mind ( or she just wouldn't go anyway) At the time I thought it was because they had nice uniforms-pink and grey-such a girly thing to do!! But no, her plan was much more devious. She immediately got baptized, convinced the pastor and his wife and the church elders that we were sinners hell bent on taking her with us.They bombarded us with "visits" where they went through our house with a fine tooth comb searching for what? Who knows-something she told them was there. I got phone calls every day from irate people telling me i was working with the devil-I was, they just had not figured out who SHE was.I could go on, but I won't. It's to painful even after all these years. Lets just say that there was a bright moment in that one. Eventually - 3 months actually, which is the longest she could ever last before being found out and figured out - the pastor and his wife came to me ( wouldn't let them on the property!!)and stood there in the street and aplogized. Their son was drinking alchohol and taking drugs ( she had a convert- how nice) several kids were in counseling for the problems she caused ( I know what they are) he almost lost his pastorship, several parents were trying counseling before divorce-(HMMM don't know the particulars on that one, but I can imagine) They asked for my forgiveness, which I gave, somewhat reluctantly-i was still so wounded and mentally overwrought by the whold experience. And oh-the junior pastor - where she lived for a while with him and his wife-seeking comfort and counseling for her terrible childhood - did get a divorce.
So, i can't give you anything positive to hope for. It only gets worse-sorry. I can give you some comfort, a shoulder to cry on, some advice based on experience, and these words-RUN, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!. Does the word Sociopath mean anyuthing to you-it should. He is really bad, even for a 9 year old, and he will get bigger, stronger, angrier. I was beat up constantly by my daughter ( that was because of the Karate classes designed to teach her self control - she had control all right!!) Look for the help you need-I wish I had tried a few more things- like boot camp, but i didn't. I thought all the counseling and love would "cure" her. it didn't.
I know all you Pcommers are looking at this in alarm, even disgust, but have never been there. YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THIS IS LIKE. i am generally a positive person, helpful where ever i can, kind and compassionate. Please do not judge me by this post-this woman needs help, a kind of help you couldn't even begin to understand. I didn't even talk about the really serious stuff, the most painful moments, the most damaging things.
Where is my lovely daughter now-WELLLL-she abandoned her 1st child. Thankfully, her father is raising her. Her second child is here with me. I am raising him because no one else would. I LOVE that little man. He is everything his mother never was or could be. He is kind and compassionate, loving and giving, good- no GREAT in school. A Boy Scout headed for an Eagle Award - I am sure of it. He is the only reason I have to stop myself when I wish she were never born!!!! Without her, I would not have the honor or pleasure of knowing him. I would not have found the healing in knowing that it was not me- I am a good parent- I do a great job as a mom!! i am not a failure! I am crying now though-and can't see the screen.
Ok- I'm over the crying again-it happens sometimes. There is a scar that runs deep from that one! Let me finish---the last pregnancey she came to me with, was little Landy. He wasn't born yet, and sadly, I couldn't raise another one-especially one born with multiple problems. Oh, no one knew the problems yet, but i knew they would be there. She hadn't been to the doctor once throughout the pregnancy ( but DEFAC did approve massages for her-still don't get that one) and was on drugs the whole time. I found him some parents who wanted him, and he is their only child, and since both were professionals, they had great insurance-something I did not have being self employed. He is about 7 now-I do not see him. The parents moved far away. There is a lot more to that story, but it would take all day.
Oh, that's right-where is she now? probably in jail somewhere around Atlanta-she's been in every one at least once. She could be living on the street again-hooking, doing pornography, hanging with the gangs-(I'd love to tell you all the story about visiting her and finding myuself alone, unarmed, and surrounded by punks who wanted my money - or something else) I got out of it unscathed - something I can't say about the rest of my dealings with her. She's doing drugs, selling drugs, and maybe even making drugs- oh hell, of coarse she's making them. the girl was brillant-a genius!!, but she only used her brain to hurt others and cause trouble where ever she goes. She makes State Farm's "MAYHEM" look nice. As a matter of fact mayhem is her middle name, trouble is her first, and disaster is the last. Do you see the scars I bear? Do you have any idea how it feels to be a loving mother who thinks that way?
Do me a favor, and just call me. I'll PM you with my #-don't want the nasty phone calls from people who have no idea what this is like. Get yourself in a support group, find counseling for yourself-you're going to need it. I will pray for you-maybe an exorcism would do something? I often wonder about that ? didn't try that either-should have!!
Broke my heart reading that.
I can't imagine your child becoming your enemy and the heart break you have gone through.
mei lan, on 20 March 2012 - 10:59 AM, said:
Not this pcommer. I am horrified and aghast that any parent should ever have to deal with what you did. I don't know you and I don't know the cause of how your daughter turned out, but your pain is very evident in your words. My heart hurts for you.
Not this pcommer either.
.
I.I.T.Y.W.I.M.W.Y.B.M.A.D.
You shall find me waiting for you in the old cemetery, under the shade of the magnolia tree.............
Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.
Clone troopers from star wars. And some of the ships. He is obsessed with Star Wars.
(You may have answered this already and I just didn't see it.)
How obsessed are we talking? The reason I ask is because when we were having my son tested for many things to figure out our course of action (in which I came to pcom looking for advice and you offered some valuable pieces...thank you for that) We came across discussing the possibility of Autism, because a few years ago we found out my husbands birth parents had another child, diagnosed with Aspergers...and that my husbands mother and two of her 5 sisters were considered "mentally retarded" (not sure of an exact diagnoses on them).one of the things the Dr.s asked me was "Does he fixate on anything in particular? Does he appear to obsess over one thing?" Has Aspergers or even Bipolar been ruled out? There were just so many things I read from this thread that sounded like some of the key behaviors discussed with my son.
I can tell you that I LOVE my son's psych. Dr. Jeffrey Harris in Dallas (behind the BP on 278 and macland)He is wonderful with my son (who is ADHD and ODD as well.) Dr. Harris is ADHD himself too and I feel like that offered a great bond between Dr. Harris and Hayden. Hayden could relate to him more. If you are looking for a Dr. I would suggest him. He's great with children, very direct (which my son needed that from someone other than his parents), and he has been the most informative Dr. I've talked to. Through out this whole thing I felt like I was in the dark about everything until I found Dr. Harris, and heard that Dr. Cantrell was back in business. Both of those men have been a god send to my fam.
I didn't realize from your previous posts about your son that it was this extreme. I can't even imagine. I'm sending lots of prayers, good vibes, and good juju your way Dis.
Would it be possible for him to take some art classes, an art workshop, etc. especially for just regular kids interested in art?
Maybe together you could research the artists and the creative process that goes into making Star Wars, etc.
yeah, this is a good idea. I wonder if the county has a class that you can do with him atleast once a week. Baseball has been wonderful for my son. It's something that is just for him and it keeps him busy/distracted. It's something that he proud of and really enjoys doing. I think it has helped his behavior.
Not this pcommer. I am horrified and aghast that any parent should ever have to deal with what you did. I don't know you and I don't know the cause of how your daughter turned out, but your pain is very evident in your words. My heart hurts for you.
I agree!
Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted. ~~~~~ "A room without a book, is like a body without a soul" ~Cicero ~~~~~~ I dream of a world...where chickens can cross the road without their motives being questioned.
Oh my...I had no idea y'all were dealing with this. I knew you & SW had your hands full, but not to this degree. I am so very sorry y'all (you, SW, your daughter AND your son) are going thru all of this. I really don't have any advice, but I will most definitely pray for y'all. (hug)
I've lived life enough to have learned I'm not all that I thought I was, but have learned to be happy with who I am- Deewee 07/06/08
I may have a tattoo on my back, but I've got Jesus in my heart!
My feelings exactly. I am going through some things with my teenage son but they seem like nothing compared to these posts. I wonder if there were signs of problems when they were very young or if something happened medically (prescription meds or diet) that caused a change.
Mine growled like the excorcist when she was born, ate cigerette butts whenever she could find them, had colic, her days and nights mixed up, and refused to nurse. Yes, i do understand why some amimals would kill their young.
At the time, I was young, and thought it was just a quirk-something she would out grow. i know I sound nuts, but it is the one thing in my life I can't handle. Otherwise, I am a happy, well adjusted, productive individual.There has been at least 5 years between our last contact. Maybe i will never see her again. i don't know weather to laugh or cry-celebrate or go to bed. Instead, I just try to forget.
I have learned that getting it out is healing. I also would like to help the others going through this to know they are not to blame. I have found my peace in this world. I do not ever see my daughter, and never want to again. I am not strong enough to go through it again.
I read your post and wanted you to know that I KNOW I havent been through anything like that and I know enough about life at this point to not judge and point fingers. I would be totally lost and clueless if, God forbid, the same thing happened to me. I'm just sorry it happened to you and your family.
You obviously tried everything and at some point, you DO have to protect your family from WHATEVER or WHOEVER endangers them. I mean, if a woman is married to an alcoholic or an abuser of any kind, everyone tells her to protect her children and get him away from them. What's the difference if the danger happens to be a child? It is just more shocking b/c I guess it's rare and we just don't hear stories like yours everyday.
I can only imagine you've heard every assinine remark and uninvited advice from people who THINK they could fix her. Just things in my life like losng my Mother to cancer or going through a terrible, long divorce, I heard(and still do occasionally)some of the DUMBEST things I could ever imagine people saying who have absolutel NO CLUE about my situation at all. Yours seems so much worse.
Again, I'm so sorry you went through this but I LOVED reading about your precious Grandson . What a gift to help you heal and to give you hope for the future. I wish you and your family nothing but good things and God's blessings. I pray that they are multipled to you all over and over and that somehow, somewhere, there is some sort of closure and peace with your daughter. But, I wouldnt beat yourself up that you do not see her now. Your priority is your Grandson and he needs the shelter of a family like yours.
Thank you for being so open and for sharing that part of your life with us...most of us strangers. Really helps to put my little problems into perspective. I hope Mr Dis can get the help he needs for his son, too. I know it has to be a comfort to him to know that he is not alone.
Who is John Galt?"The government was set to protect man from criminals, and the Constitution was written to protect man from the government." -Ayn Rand
Mine growled like the excorcist when she was born, ate cigerette butts whenever she could find them, had colic, her days and nights mixed up, and refused to nurse. Yes, i do understand why some amimals would kill their young.
At the time, I was young, and thought it was just a quirk-something she would out grow. i know I sound nuts, but it is the one thing in my life I can't handle. Otherwise, I am a happy, well adjusted, productive individual.There has been at least 5 years between our last contact. Maybe i will never see her again. i don't know weather to laugh or cry-celebrate or go to bed. Instead, I just try to forget.
That made me cry. My heart breaks for you. And I know you've moved on, you've got your precious grandson, but like you said, you try to forget. But somewhere, deep down in your heart it nags at you.
My heart aches for you, PcsCharli, for what you have been through.
It's hard to raise kids into adults, even when everything goes as it ought to go, and even harder when there are bumps in the road, which is the most I've dealt with raising my kids. That's not to diminish how difficult the problems seem when they are your own to deal with, but what you've dealt with is extreme, and my Mommy heart hurts for you.
Mr. Dis--I don't have much to offer. I've struggled some with my sons and have wondered often if what I chose as either treatment or punishment was what was best for them, but I have never faced what you are facing with your son at such a young age.
I would be reluctant to isolate him from the family, as it seems you are, too. But if I felt he was a true DANGER to the rest of the family, I don't see how I could make any other choice.
While his primary concern is HIMSELF, yours is the whole family and every individual in it.
I hope someone here has given you something that will help. I'm so sorry that it's so hard for you and SW. It's not easy raising kids, but it's not supposed to be THAT hard.
This thread has been on my mind so much lately. Though I don't have any answers I have so much respect for you for trying so hard to help your son. I know how difficult it is to raise children, even when they are "typical", but when you are dealing with physical and mental problem to boot no one can do it without help.
I pray you find the help you need for your son as well as the rest of your family.
Mr. Dis, you know I have no children so I have no advice for you. Well, I do have on bit of advice. Please try to decide on your course of action soon. I fear he will hurt his sister, mother or you. Even worse he could do something that would cause you to loose your job.
I don't think any kid wants to be this bad. It has to be something wrong in his brain. I say that lovingly. You can not allow this to go on any longer in your home with the rest of the family. What if he did do something to harm his sister. I know you couldn't live with that. Please know that you are in my prayers.
I think God will have prepared everything for our perfect happiness. If it takes my dog being there [in Heaven], I believe he'll be there.
I'm at work and don't have time to read all the posts, but this sounds a lot like my oldest daughter between the ages of 9 and 16. She was VERY destructive and VERY defiant, also diagnosed with ODD and ADHD. She was in and out of RYDC and various other placements. We slept with deadbolts on our bedroom doors for years. I was scared to leave her alone with her younger sister. Kicked her out of the house when she turned 18 and changed the locks. Had no idea if she was dead or alive for two months after I kicked her out.
When she turned 19, I found out that she had been molested by her stepfather. Her intense anger over what she was going through caused her problems. Is there any possibility that he could have been sexually abused by someone?
My daughter will be 30 in August and, to this day, still has issues. She is married with two beautiful children, but she still has terrible anger issues which she directs at her husband. Thankfully, he is a wonderful man who knows the story and loves her unconditionally. We cannot get her to get help even though she admits she has a problem.
I know what you're going through and I know your life is a living hell. To love your child more than anything and to have to watch him do the things that he is doing is more than most people can imagine. It is almost unbearable. I don't know what else to offer, but your family will be in my prayers.
I'm at work and don't have time to read all the posts, but this sounds a lot like my oldest daughter between the ages of 9 and 16. She was VERY destructive and VERY defiant, also diagnosed with ODD and ADHD. She was in and out of RYDC and various other placements. We slept with deadbolts on our bedroom doors for years. I was scared to leave her alone with her younger sister. Kicked her out of the house when she turned 18 and changed the locks. Had no idea if she was dead or alive for two months after I kicked her out.
When she turned 19, I found out that she had been molested by her stepfather. Her intense anger over what she was going through caused her problems. Is there any possibility that he could have been sexually abused by someone?
My daughter will be 30 in August and, to this day, still has issues. She is married with two beautiful children, but she still has terrible anger issues which she directs at her husband. Thankfully, he is a wonderful man who knows the story and loves her unconditionally. We cannot get her to get help even though she admits she has a problem.
I know what you're going through and I know your life is a living hell. To love your child more than anything and to have to watch him do the things that he is doing is more than most people can imagine. It is almost unbearable. I don't know what else to offer, but your family will be in my prayers.
I would discount this as a reason for a couple of reasons. He has been having issues since very early, around age 3. Since he was so difficult so early, we usually kept him very close to us and most family found him too difficult to "watch" for very long. That just left little time for anything to happen.
Right now he seems to have gotten the point. We are stripping his room and he is helping with it. He knows why it is being done but I hope that he actually gets the link between the "bad / unacceptable behavior" and his actual actions. He is truly almost a Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde persona. I think Bi-polar would fit but it does not as Bi-polar does not need a cause to make the swing from one to the other. He just has a really bad temper. We had a session with his Psychiatrist yesterday and discussed his actions of late. The Dr. and he discussed the relationship between his actions and being "sent away" to not only protect himself but others from his actions. So his Dr. is even on the same page as I am. now if we can get him on that page we will be doing much better.
Mr. Dis offers Professional, Reliable lawn care for all of your home's needs. Please PM for a free Quote.
I'm a Uber Hottie... LGM say's so...
I hearby give credit to the Phoenicians for the Phoenician alphabet in all my writings on PCOM
I would discount this as a reason for a couple of reasons. He has been having issues since very early, around age 3. Since he was so difficult so early, we usually kept him very close to us and most family found him too difficult to "watch" for very long. That just left little time for anything to happen.
Right now he seems to have gotten the point. We are stripping his room and he is helping with it. He knows why it is being done but I hope that he actually gets the link between the "bad / unacceptable behavior" and his actual actions. He is truly almost a Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde persona. I think Bi-polar would fit but it does not as Bi-polar does not need a cause to make the swing from one to the other. He just has a really bad temper. We had a session with his Psychiatrist yesterday and discussed his actions of late. The Dr. and he discussed the relationship between his actions and being "sent away" to not only protect himself but others from his actions. So his Dr. is even on the same page as I am. now if we can get him on that page we will be doing much better.
This is so good to hear. This thread has REALLY been on my mind.
I am keeping you, your son, and the rest of your family in my prayers as well.
.
I.I.T.Y.W.I.M.W.Y.B.M.A.D.
You shall find me waiting for you in the old cemetery, under the shade of the magnolia tree.............
Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.
I'm at work and don't have time to read all the posts, but this sounds a lot like my oldest daughter between the ages of 9 and 16. She was VERY destructive and VERY defiant, also diagnosed with ODD and ADHD. She was in and out of RYDC and various other placements. We slept with deadbolts on our bedroom doors for years. I was scared to leave her alone with her younger sister. Kicked her out of the house when she turned 18 and changed the locks. Had no idea if she was dead or alive for two months after I kicked her out.
When she turned 19, I found out that she had been molested by her stepfather. Her intense anger over what she was going through caused her problems. Is there any possibility that he could have been sexually abused by someone?
My daughter will be 30 in August and, to this day, still has issues. She is married with two beautiful children, but she still has terrible anger issues which she directs at her husband. Thankfully, he is a wonderful man who knows the story and loves her unconditionally. We cannot get her to get help even though she admits she has a problem.
I know what you're going through and I know your life is a living hell. To love your child more than anything and to have to watch him do the things that he is doing is more than most people can imagine. It is almost unbearable. I don't know what else to offer, but your family will be in my prayers.
Paul Hegstorm has a series of videos online. He tells about how he was molested as a child (first at age 3, but later at well) and the severe anger he had as adult. He explains the brain of a child that experienced trauma; i.e. arrested development. He abused his wife severely years ago. They were the subject of a movie where John Ritter was the actor that played him. He's written a couple of books. One is Broken Children: Grown-Up Pain. Here's a description of it from amazon.com/:
Despair. Emotional isolation. Self-loathing. Immaturity. Abusive actions.These are just some of the damaging fragments that remain embedded within our personalities, behaviors, and souls when we are broken as children. The memory of the past may seem distant and clouded, but within its scars deep wounds remain that continue to inflict pain upon our adult lives--and often end up spilling into the lives of others.In Broken Children, Grown-Up Pain, Paul Hegstrom, author of Angry Men and the Women Who Love Them, shows us the scars from his broken childhood and shares practical and proven methods for facing and dealing with the pain of the past. By using scientific research, psychological studies, and biblical principles--especially those found in the Jewish model of raising children--he points us to the place of healing where we are finally free to pursue authentic relationships and build healthy emotional intimacy with others.This updated version of Broken Children, Grown-Up Pain is an excellent resource for pastors, teachers, counselors, psychologists, parents, or anyone wounded by an abusive past.
Dis jr. is only 9 but he is totally wearing me and the rest of the family out ... 3 times last week he got caught setting fires... IN THE HOUSE OR RIGHT NEXT TO IT!!!
You need help because it does not sound like your parenting skills are an issue or that you even have the ability to 'fix' this, it goes much deeper. I would plan on something long term so the professionals have more time to evaluate and treat his condition.
He got hold of a stick lighter. We have never left them out so they would be easy to get or play with but we have never had to hide them before either. This started out of the blue. 3 days in a row and not again since. Fire safety has been discussed at home and the truly ironic part of this is that while they were out on winter break I took him to the Safety Village to sit in with my class there for the day. It is almost as if the class gave him the idea. But the last time he had his Star Wars figures out and he was "trying to give them battle damage". He "colors" on many of his toys to give them certain personality or to customize them. Taking a white trooper and putting the red or blue trim on them for instance. It seems as though he has decided to add "physical damage" to the custimization process. The problem is he was trying to start a fire to do this rather than a small controlled heat source that a true modeler might use. That is what he was telling me anyway. And he did have the figures there with him.
Mr. Dis offers Professional, Reliable lawn care for all of your home's needs. Please PM for a free Quote.
I'm a Uber Hottie... LGM say's so...
I hearby give credit to the Phoenicians for the Phoenician alphabet in all my writings on PCOM
I just thought I would post this as a resource. Has anyone read any of Dr, Ross Greene's books? There are several listed on amazon.com/:
Hope, compassion, support, and help for behaviorally challenging kids and their caregivers
Lives in the Balance is the non-profit organization founded by child psychologist Dr. Ross Greene, author of The Explosive Child and Lost at School, and originator of the Collaborative Problem Solving (CPS) approach. The "lenses" and strategies provided by the CPS model are effective with kids often described as angry, difficult, defiant, and oppositional. While we don't use those words, this website contains a ton of information – streaming video, an extensive Listening Library, and a boatload of additional resources -- to help you learn about and implement the research-based CPS model and provide you with the support you need. Just CLICK HERE to get started.
And if you’re ready to help Lives in the Balance educate others about the true factors contributing to kids’ behavioral challenges...about why time-outs, detentions, suspensions, expulsions, restraints, and locked-door seclusion often make things worse (and about what to do instead)...
just wanted you to know that you and your family have been on my mind and my heart ever since I read this thread the other day. I've been praying for you all...asking God to provide you with the right people at the right time with solutions. When all seems lost, God can give you understanding and peace you never thought possible.
You are a good Dad and it shows. Make sure your wife knows how wonderful she is. This has to be so hard on you both.
Who is John Galt?"The government was set to protect man from criminals, and the Constitution was written to protect man from the government." -Ayn Rand
After reading this thread, and Lucky's thread, I am so glad my boys are grown, i do not know if i would have the patients that it takes now days to raise a child.
Mr. Dis my heart goes out to you and your wife, sounds like you have a long road ahead of you.. just remember you and your wife need to stay united in the decisions you make concerning your son.. or he will use that against you.
kids like to play parents against one another.
"The most dangerous place in the world to be is "Between a Mother and her Child"
In Loving Memory of My Daddy and Mama
3-29-08and 10-24-2012
Help
mei lan, on 20 March 2012 - 11:01 AM, said:
Much more logical that the other kid told him. 
But he just loves all things related to the Clone Troopers. Not to be confused with the Storm Troopers.
Promote to Article
:give_rose:You deserve a whole bouquet.
. What a gift to help you heal and to give you hope for the future. I wish you and your family nothing but good things and God's blessings. I pray that they are multipled to you all over and over and that somehow, somewhere, there is some sort of closure and peace with your daughter. But, I wouldnt beat yourself up that you do not see her now. Your priority is your Grandson and he needs the shelter of a family like yours.
It is almost as if the class gave him the idea. But the last time he had his Star Wars figures out and he was "trying to give them battle damage". He "colors" on many of his toys to give them certain personality or to customize them. Taking a white trooper and putting the red or blue trim on them for instance. It seems as though he has decided to add "physical damage" to the custimization process. The problem is he was trying to start a fire to do this rather than a small controlled heat source that a true modeler might use. That is what he was telling me anyway. And he did have the figures there with him.
