[mrnn]

People will, and have, labeled me callous when it comes to subjects like this. Especially during pregnancies, I often pondered how I would handle a severely disabled child. I'm very comfortable admitting that I wouldn't....I just wouldn't and couldn't do it. Call me selfish, callous, an asshole, inhumane, whatever....I grew up with a severely disabled mother and I know the tole it can take on a family so I really couldn't give two cheezes about what others think of my opinions on the matter.

I read your posts about your son and I'm reminded of that family destruction. I feel that the disability, in your case, is even more severe as your property and your other loved ones appear to be in harm's way. It's not fair to you, your wife, or your daughter, Dis. I would seriously look into alternative housing for him, something bordering on permanent. Unless you or your wife truly believe, deep down, that there is a cure out there that will lead to your son leading a semi-regular life, one not spent in prison or psych wards, you are simply hurting your marriage and the upbringing of your perfectly healthy daughter by dragging this out and postponing the inevitable.

While I know he's your son, he's not well. Have you, your wife, and daughter discussed this at all, as far as the nuclear option?

I really feel for you, Dis. Obviously I only know you in an online sense, but I can tell you're a good man. Sometimes it doesn't matter how great a man one is, tragedy can strike. My thoughts are with you.


mrnn

[GeorgiaTornado]

MrDis I don't have any advice for you or SW. But I'll remember you in my prayers. I know this is hard. I am a CASA volunteer and I have seen parents that have had to deal with this. I know they had to instutionalize them. These were good parents just like y'all. It broke the parents heart having to deal with this, but like you they had to look out for the interest of the other child.

Prayers going up! You do have your hands full.

[Mr.Dis]

smitty, on 19 March 2012 - 12:19 PM, said:

Are you and your wife playing to the same sheet of music?

You know, that is a really good question. We talk about things all the time and how we handle them. I usually wait for her to discuss punishment prior to giving it if time permits. So I hope we are. But I have know for years that the 3rd day when I am gone all day generally means the kids only need to leave her alone and they can do a lot of things that I do not allow. I think that is why he still sleeps in our bedroom. As long as there is room for her to sleep, she does not seem to care. I do know that we took away his drawing privledges but she let him draw anyway as well.

Well the little Hellion is now home. He came home while I was downstairs doing laundry and immediately shredded a packing box because XXXXXtold him to. And he also told him to tell me to my face that he hates me. Looked a little shocked when I told him "I don't care. I'm the dad and you can hate me all you want but you will respect me".

Well gotta go before something else gets torn up.

[BooRadley]

According to this link, they takes kids from 8-21.

I know nothing about it other than I used to drive by it on my way to work each morning. It's near the intersection of US 41 and Barrett Parkway.

Hope you find a solution.....prayers for your family.

Devereux in Kennesaw

[gog8tors]

BooRadley, on 19 March 2012 - 02:03 PM, said:

According to this link, they takes kids from 8-21.

I know nothing about it other than I used to drive by it on my way to work each morning. It's near the intersection of US 41 and Barrett Parkway.

Hope you find a solution.....prayers for your family.

Devereux in Kennesaw

I took DOS there for counseling. For us it was a very good thing. We were dealing with ADHD.

[mei lan]

PUBBY, on 19 March 2012 - 10:53 AM, said:

I gather that your youngun has acquired at least age appropriate language. You don't report any very disturbing actions like torturing pets or other animals and there is obviously not a diagnosis of his being a sociopath. Those are good things

Call me crazy, but I believe setting three fires around the house in a week would be deemed disturbing actions. I'm guessing you were writing your post and didn't see that part. NOT making any sort of diagnosis, because I have no professional qualifications to do so. However, this situation is indeed beyond troubling.

[LPPT]

mei lan, on 19 March 2012 - 02:22 PM, said:

Call me crazy, but I believe setting three fires around the house in a week would be deemed disturbing actions. I'm guessing you were writing your post and didn't see that part. NOT making any sort of diagnosis, because I have no professional qualifications to do so. However, this situation is indeed beyond troubling.

Pubby also has a special needs child that they know certain chemicals bother him.
Taking chemicals out of the diet or changing meds can make kids easier to control but don't always resolve the underlying problems.
Some chemicals can cause behavioral problems because they irritate the brain.
My son has a condition that the first symptoms of what can be fatal are behavioral.
Pubby was trying to be helpful. Believe me, he and I both understand some of these issues.

[mei lan]

LPPT, on 19 March 2012 - 02:37 PM, said:

Pubby also has a special needs child that they know certain chemicals bother him.
Taking chemicals out of the diet or changing meds can make kids easier to control but don't always resolve the underlying problems.
Some chemicals can cause behavioral problems because they irritate the brain.
My son has a condition that the first symptoms of what can be fatal are behavioral.
Pubby was trying to be helpful. Believe me, he and I both understand some of these issues.

Oh, I know...I wasn't bustin' on him...I was just pointing that out. I know he has way more experience in this area than any person ever should have, and I salute him for the way he handles it. I have never sensed anything from him regarding things like this other than kindness and love for his son, and a desire to help others.

I didn't realize you had experience in this area as well. My heart goes out to you both, and to any parent dealing with such troubling issues.

[Mr.Dis]

BooRadley, on 19 March 2012 - 02:03 PM, said:

According to this link, they takes kids from 8-21.

I know nothing about it other than I used to drive by it on my way to work each morning. It's near the intersection of US 41 and Barrett Parkway.

Hope you find a solution.....prayers for your family.

Devereux in Kennesaw

I'm familiar with it. We run calls in there from my fire station and my neighbor used to be a counselor there. He recommends it and Clark Howard is associated with them as well. Thanks

[LPPT]

mei lan, on 19 March 2012 - 02:42 PM, said:

Oh, I know...I wasn't bustin' on him...I was just pointing that out. I know he has way more experience in this area than any person ever should have, and I salute him for the way he handles it. I have never sensed anything from him regarding things like this other than kindness and love for his son, and a desire to help others.

I didn't realize you had experience in this area as well. My heart goes out to you both, and to any parent dealing with such troubling issues.

I know, busting Pubby's chops are sometimes considered a recreational activity on p.com so I just wanted to make sure he wasn't being taken wrong.

[MissSophie]

This has been on my mind all day.

I consider my home as my "haven". I want it to be a haven for my family. I don't think you can make good decisions while you are living in the middle of the battle.

You need a social worker or someone you trust to help. Your are torn with love, anguish, fatigue, protectiveness, guilt, and loyalty. How can you possibly make logical decisions. I would have to agree that a housing facility is a viable answer; especially since you have other children who need their home to be their haven and anchor. Of course you don't love sister more than him; but sister deserves more rewards than she is getting because she deserves it. That doesn't mean it is his fault that he has a problem. But you must think about the health of your family. This is a no-win situation. You have to pick the lesser of two evils. So sorry

[Burnt Hickory Mimi]

I know a child that sounds very much like your son. The child I know has given his mom and dad Hell his whole life! He is now 20 years old, still lives at home with the parents, and fights them and threatens to kill them and himself!!

I don't have any advice, other than to do something before the child gets too old to be able to defend yourself!

[A Gipper Girl]

Papi, on 19 March 2012 - 10:14 AM, said:

In earlier post about your son, you never went into that much detail about him. That being the case, no. I could straighten out a kid in a week that was just being a bad kid. Your child is obviously not just a bad kid. I'm sorry you are having to deal with this. I can not imagine the hard decisions you will have to make in the future. I do agree with Laurie, you need to find the right combination of counselor/doctor/medication that will work for you and your child. I don't think any type of "boot camp" will help. He needs serious psychiatric care, possibly even a time in a psychiatric facility.

I was thinking maybe Ridgeview Institute in Smyrna but they only work with youths older than 11.

I'm sorry you and your family are going through this. It seems like you have tried or are willing to try anything and you are good parents. This is not a "bad kid" thing and I'm sure it is heartwrenching to all of you.

I worry about you and your wife. You both need time together and your family needs the 2 of you together.

I dont remember her user name here but there is a Pcommer who works at Ridgeview(or a place like it). She works with kids and teens and has a great reputation. I am FB friends with her and will send her a note to contact you if you'd like. She may be able to help in some way.

[lowrider]

This has been on my mind all day and I've been wondering: how is your wife dealing with this?

[hotwheels]

You might try Family Intervention Specialists. They are located at 848 Hiram Acworth Hwy., Hiram. Their phone # is (770)222-6622.

[Blondiega1]

lowrider, on 19 March 2012 - 03:46 PM, said:

This has been on my mind all day and I've been wondering: how is your wife dealing with this?

Me too!
I don't even know you really Mr. Dis.
Only met you once when I bought a washing machine from you when my daughter went off to college 4 years ago.
I know you've talked of issues with your son before, but it looks like most of us had no idea how bad it has become.

I hope you and your wife find a way to do what's best for your family as a whole.
Sometimes the hardest decisions to make are the right ones.

[overit]

Mr.Dis, on 19 March 2012 - 09:02 AM, said:

He is ADHD and ODD. Oppositional Defiance Disorder. That is the one that is KICKING OUR COLLECTIVE BUTTS. He does not do "NO" or "Yes" if it goes contrary to his wishes. He takes meds now and has been seeing the counselor. We started with a new one this year because of insurance. All I can say right now is that at 18 either he or I will be leaving this house. I will not live with him any longer unless his attitude corrects. And you better believe he will not be getting a license until his 18th year. I will not be responsible for putting a driver on the road with that attitude. And even then he will have to get his own license, car and insurance.

Ref. the picture. That was taken after an hours worth of work just getting into the doorway. I'm meticulus and it took me that long to sort "legos" from junk as it were. That was about 6 PM. I got the Garbage, And I do mean just garbage, together and bagged for pickup this morning at about 10 PM. And that was just doing it quick after I got into the room.

His room has TOO much stuff. I suggest a binge cleaning. A bed, clothes, and a few books. I know he is only 6, but if he is breaking expensive toys..why allow him to have any. My oldest has had his room stripped several times. About every 3-4 months, he has earned it back, just in time to strip it again. Yes, I use it as puinshment, but if you are acting like an ungrateful pain in my ass, I will make you see how good you have it. The cycle took 3 years for him to "get it". Now I can take one thing and he "gets it".
You should also take a course in restraint, sounds like spanking will not work...maybe a special hold will be soothing and help him learn to self calm.

[GeorgiaTornado]

I'll 3rd Devereux

[A Gipper Girl]

overit, on 19 March 2012 - 04:01 PM, said:

His room has TOO much stuff. I suggest a binge cleaning. A bed, clothes, and a few books. I know he is only 6, but if he is breaking expensive toys..why allow him to have any. My oldest has had his room stripped several times. About every 3-4 months, he has earned it back, just in time to strip it again. Yes, I use it as puinshment, but if you are acting like an ungrateful pain in my ass, I will make you see how good you have it. The cycle took 3 years for him to "get it". Now I can take one thing and he "gets it".
You should also take a course in restraint, sounds like spanking will not work...maybe a special hold will be soothing and help him learn to self calm.

I agree. My pediatrician, Dr Denmark(retired) and my favorite author/PhD, Dr John Rosemond both say to only let a child have about a dozen toys at a time. Any more and they are overloaded and do not have to use their imagination. Put the rest of the toys somewhere they cannot find and rotate them every couple months or so magically when they arent around.

Dr Rosemond also says this and is VERY firm on it:

"One might assume a strong family unit focuses on the children, yet experts agree the heart of a successful family is a secure marriage. In Parent Power!, author John Rosemond states that the marriage is the nucleus of the family. It creates, defines, and sustains the family unit. Rosemond says, "Children's needs are met if the needs of the marriage are met."

He says if you say your children are "the most important thing in your life" you should stop and re-evaluate. It should be your marriage then your children.

I'm not telling you anything you dont already know, Im sure. I cannot imagine where you both are in all of this. But, I really hope you can somehow find the help you need.

[Mr.Dis]

overit, on 19 March 2012 - 04:01 PM, said:

His room has TOO much stuff. I suggest a binge cleaning. A bed, clothes, and a few books. I know he is only 6, but if he is breaking expensive toys..why allow him to have any. My oldest has had his room stripped several times. About every 3-4 months, he has earned it back, just in time to strip it again. Yes, I use it as puinshment, but if you are acting like an ungrateful pain in my ass, I will make you see how good you have it. The cycle took 3 years for him to "get it". Now I can take one thing and he "gets it".
You should also take a course in restraint, sounds like spanking will not work...maybe a special hold will be soothing and help him learn to self calm.

Ex- PD restraint of the child is not an issue. Self restraint is beginning to get difficult. BTW he is 9. We are emptying his room now. He is sorting all the scatterd Legos into 1 bin. You can not imagine the toys that he has destroyed. I agree that he has too much stuff. What you see in the picture is mostly "art work" that he has drawn. I am telling you I emptyed out 8 garbage bags full of paper and garbage. Not old or broken toys.

[overit]

[quote name='Mr.Dis' timestamp='1332192350' post='3613926']
Ex- PD restraint of the child is not an issue. Self restraint is beginning to get difficult. BTW he is 9. We are emptying his room now. He is sorting all the scatterd Legos into 1 bin. You can not imagine the toys that he has destroyed. I agree that he has too much stuff. What you see in the picture is mostly "art work" that he has drawn. I am telling you I emptyed out 8 garbage bags full of paper and garbage. Not old or broken toys.
[/quote



I wish you luck. Some days just suck. If all else fails just taze him. Only joking....

This post has been edited by overit: 19 March 2012 - 04:39 PM

[sugail]

This has got to be so heart breaking for all of you. I will be praying for you and your family. Sounds like artwork might be his choice of therapy. It's hard to accept that experts might be able to handle your child better than you because as parents we think that we have the answers regarding our own children and that love will win out. I hope you find the right therapists for your son soon and that you come to the best decision for your family.

[momof 3]

Bless your heart, I'm exhausted just reading this topic. I have no answer for you, I wish I did, but if he is like this now, what will it be like when he is a teenager? Honestly, I'd be afraid for him as well as for the rest of my family. I pray that you can get the help he, that you all, need and that you will find peace no matter what has to be done.

[Blondiega1]

sugail, on 19 March 2012 - 04:49 PM, said:

This has got to be so heart breaking for all of you. I will be praying for you and your family. Sounds like artwork might be his choice of therapy. It's hard to accept that experts might be able to handle your child better than you because as parents we think that we have the answers regarding our own children and that love will win out. I hope you find the right therapists for your son soon and that you come to the best decision for your family.

Good catch!

[Mr.Dis]

just wanted to put out some ODD info for those that do not know...

The following are behaviors associated with ODD:

• Negativity
• Defiance
• Disobedience
• Hostility directed toward authority figures

These behaviors might cause your child to regularly and consistently:

• Have temper tantrums
• Be argumentative with adults
• Refuse to comply with adult requests or rules
• Annoy other people deliberately
• Blames others for mistakes or misbehavior
• Acts touchy and is easily annoyed
• Feel anger and resentment
• Be spiteful or vindictive
• Act aggressively toward peers
• Have difficulty maintaining friendships
• Have academic problems
• Feel a lack of self-esteem

http://www.mayoclini...isorder/DS00630


I really think his main issue is the ODD.

[RhondaW]

Please read my friend, Ray Garton's blog, just this one page.

He and I have discussed this at length...the deficiencies that caused his psychiatric (and physical) issues, can present themselves in any manner of behavioral symptoms.

Anything is worth a shot at this point for you guys,


Ray Garton

This post has been edited by RhondaW: 19 March 2012 - 08:57 PM

[momof 3]

mrnn, on 19 March 2012 - 12:34 PM, said:

People will, and have, labeled me callous when it comes to subjects like this. Especially during pregnancies, I often pondered how I would handle a severely disabled child. I'm very comfortable admitting that I wouldn't....I just wouldn't and couldn't do it. Call me selfish, callous, an asshole, inhumane, whatever....I grew up with a severely disabled mother and I know the tole it can take on a family so I really couldn't give two cheezes about what others think of my opinions on the matter.

I read your posts about your son and I'm reminded of that family destruction. I feel that the disability, in your case, is even more severe as your property and your other loved ones appear to be in harm's way. It's not fair to you, your wife, or your daughter, Dis. I would seriously look into alternative housing for him, something bordering on permanent. Unless you or your wife truly believe, deep down, that there is a cure out there that will lead to your son leading a semi-regular life, one not spent in prison or psych wards, you are simply hurting your marriage and the upbringing of your perfectly healthy daughter by dragging this out and postponing the inevitable.

While I know he's your son, he's not well. Have you, your wife, and daughter discussed this at all, as far as the nuclear option?

I really feel for you, Dis. Obviously I only know you in an online sense, but I can tell you're a good man. Sometimes it doesn't matter how great a man one is, tragedy can strike. My thoughts are with you.


mrnn

I know it's hard sometimes to be labeled as you said you were, but you were right on point with everything you said, we'd all be lying if we said differently. This is a tough, sad situation for all involved.

[sugail]

RhondaW, on 19 March 2012 - 08:55 PM, said:

Please read my friend, Ray Garton's blog, just this one page.

He and I have discussed this at length...the deficiencies that caused his psychiatric (and physical) issues, can present themselves in any manner of behavioral symptoms.

Anything is worth a shot at this point for you guys,


Ray Garton

That was a very interesting read. I feel doctors are too quick to push prescriptions.

[RhondaW]

sugail, on 19 March 2012 - 09:21 PM, said:

That was a very interesting read. I feel doctors are too quick to push prescriptions.

Me too. The book would scare the crap out of you.

The thing is, this deficiency manifests itself in SO many different forms. He tells me that this treatment literally saved his life, he is a born cynic. But the proof (as always) is in the reults.
We are planning to introduce this treatment to my son later on this year.

[A Gipper Girl]

RhondaW, on 19 March 2012 - 09:29 PM, said:

Me too. The book would scare the crap out of you.

The thing is, this deficiency manifests itself in SO many different forms. He tells me that this treatment literally saved his life, he is a born cynic. But the proof (as always) is in the reults.
We are planning to introduce this treatment to my son later on this year.

I agree with him completely. Also, Dr John Rosemond, who I mentioned earlier in this thread, feels very much the same way. I have used his advice since I found him when my now grown son was about 4 yrs old.

I havent had to deal with anything like this but I do love to listen to Dr Rosemond and read everything he writes. he has a good bit to say on this subject and it isnt the "popular" ideas of drugging them into zombies.

[ButterflyLion]

Mr.Dis, on 19 March 2012 - 12:43 PM, said:

Well the little Hellion is now home. He came home while I was downstairs doing laundry and immediately shredded a packing box because XXXXXtold him to. And he also told him to tell me to my face that he hates me. Looked a little shocked when I told him "I don't care. I'm the dad and you can hate me all you want but you will respect me".

You said because "he also told him." Does he hear voices?

[ButterflyLion]

Mr.Dis, on 19 March 2012 - 04:25 PM, said:

Ex- PD restraint of the child is not an issue. Self restraint is beginning to get difficult. BTW he is 9. We are emptying his room now. He is sorting all the scatterd Legos into 1 bin. You can not imagine the toys that he has destroyed. I agree that he has too much stuff. What you see in the picture is mostly "art work" that he has drawn. I am telling you I emptyed out 8 garbage bags full of paper and garbage. Not old or broken toys.

Maybe he is trying to communicate something through his drawing that he can't otherwise express. What does he draw?

[Mr.Dis]

ButterflyLion, on 20 March 2012 - 02:26 AM, said:

You said because "he also told him." Does he hear voices?

No, this was another student in his class. I have seen and heard about this child. I feel for the teacher here. She has 3 boys that work together it seems. 1 will act up and when the teacher's attention is on him another will get up and start running around punching the others. then they will get the aatention and the 3rd will start. I have seen this while obsrving my son through the door. Heis ready to learn and seldom gets in trouble at school. he sat there doing his work except when the others hit him. To his credit he stayed seated. there are a few others as well in the class that do not seem as bad as the 3. We have been trying to change his IEP so that he is back in a regular class for his strong skills like math and art.

ButterflyLion, on 20 March 2012 - 02:32 AM, said:

Maybe he is trying to communicate something through his drawing that he can't otherwise express. What does he draw?

Clone troopers from star wars. And some of the ships. He is obsessed with Star Wars.

[ButterflyLion]

Mr.Dis, on 20 March 2012 - 06:02 AM, said:

No, this was another student in his class. I have seen and heard about this child. I feel for the teacher here. She has 3 boys that work together it seems. 1 will act up and when the teacher's attention is on him another will get up and start running around punching the others. then they will get the aatention and the 3rd will start. I have seen this while obsrving my son through the door. Heis ready to learn and seldom gets in trouble at school. he sat there doing his work except when the others hit him. To his credit he stayed seated. there are a few others as well in the class that do not seem as bad as the 3. We have been trying to change his IEP so that he is back in a regular class for his strong skills like math and art.

It must encouraging and frustrating at the same time that he is well behaved at school and not at home. I would think it means something though.

[ButterflyLion]

Mr.Dis, on 19 March 2012 - 12:43 PM, said:

Well the little Hellion is now home. He came home while I was downstairs doing laundry and immediately shredded a packing box because XXXXXtold him to. And he also told him to tell me to my face that he hates me ...

Also, add the fact that he is doing things one of his classmates tells him to do ...

[PcsCharli]

Mr.Dis, on 19 March 2012 - 08:33 AM, said:

Dis jr. is only 9 but he is totally wearing me and the rest of the family out. Let me first state that I do love my son and have been fighting this battle for 6 years now. We have done counselling, medication, special classes and even diets. But the long and short of things right now are basically if he is getting things the way he wants them and on time, things can be pretty decent. But we all know that life is full of things we do not want to do as well as mishaps and other things that just pop up. His temper is really getting the best of him. Yesterday he thought his sister and a friend left the yard (which they did not) without him. He went and grabbed her Nintendo 3DS and smashed "just because" he got upset. Things like this are nothing new around here. I continually find things broken / destroyed because he was angry over some little thing. He has already kicked a hole in his bedroom wall. All of the things that he does out of anger pale in comparison to the general Hell he puts us through daily. He knows no boundries. "NO" only means no until he either figures out a way around you are until your alertness drops due to time or distraction and then he will just take advantage and do it then. I have already found several instances where he tries to sneak something off and caught him 1,2,3 or even more times. Punish away... it won't matter. Then only to find that at SOME POINT he did actually manage to get it past you for the moment. 3 times last week he got caught setting fires... IN THE HOUSE OR RIGHT NEXT TO IT!!! We can't get him to do ANY form of homework without major altercations. He has zero compasion for anyone or anything that does not directly and immediately benefit himself. Ican literally clean the living room and go to the kitchen to clean it and before I'm done, the living room looks as bad or worse than it did to begin with. Here is a picture of his room. I treat it as a "no man's land" I don't go in it unless I have to. This picture represents about 1 weeks worth of "play". Oh Yeah... he wants it clean and will bug the crap out of you to "help" him clean it. But while you are "helping" he will be off causing chaos elsewhere.

Well the picture isn't working right now, I'll try later.

So I know about the law in overview but have no practical experience. Has anyone had any experience with that law and its use? Or does anyone have any other advise other than "beating" the child. You can rest assured, EVERY conceivable punishment has been thought of and used. If I beat him anymore DEFACS will probably get involved. I learned long ago SPANKINGS DO NOT WORK FOR HIM. They just piss him off and he will do something evil because he is now pissed off. And the cycle will repeat.


I literally do not know what to do with this kid or how to get across to him. He even asked me last night why I am so mean to him and nice to his sister. !!!! ALARM HAS BEEN DULY NOTED!!! Son... If you would only listen and do as we ask while keeping your temper in check, then you would be treated the same way.

room.png

Well, you have found someone who went through the same thing with my older daughter. First of all -god bless you cause you're going to need it!!. You are doing all the right things, but when I did them it didn't work.I don't mean to sound so negative, but honey- I HAVE BEEN THERE

Eventually, the state took her away as incorigable, but not until I lost my sanity, peace of mind, husband, self esteem-the list goes on. It took me years to find myself again. I still have little nerosis like i can't seem to go out and get my mail from the mailbox (years of DEFAC letters ordering me to court, counseling, jail-yes jail!!!) I have mail box phobia. Gov't green rooms make me feel sick to my stomach. Stupid stuff like that.

The turning point for me was when the state came to take away my youngest child. "She" had been picked up (again) by the police. She was shoplifting. She also had been gone for weeks as a runaway. So, the story was "Oh, poor me!! My mom threw me out and i have to shop lift to survive and feed myself" Really, so that's why you stole sun tan lotion (no food). Every police jurisdiction in town had to put up with me crying at the police chiefs desk, pleading for them to find my daughter before something happens to her!!!

Many months , a lot of money, and finally a kind Pro Bona upscale lawyer who like going after DEFAC for stuff like this, I was cleared of any wrong doing, and she was taken in to a program-well, many programs because as each one figured out that they could not help her, they passed her on to someone else. There was the one where the cook stabbed her in the hand-poor woman had never come up against someone like her-she lost her job and pension. Still, she was lucky-it could have been worse. At the next place, a counselor helped her to run away and he put her up at his house FOOL. She played him like a fine fiddle!!!!!!! He lost his job, his wife ( yes he was married) his kids, the rest of his family, and his freedonm cause he went to jail. There was the incident with a huge (I really mean HUGE ) black scorpion found in another inmates bed - the one she had just had a big fight with. Then there was the court proceedings where i was ordered to allow SIBLING VISITATION of her 5 year old sister. She not only orchestrated the whole thing, but made those state lawyers dance like puppets on her strings. Seems inocent - huh? Well, she was residing in the Lantana Woman's State Correctional facility - no, she wasn't an adult, but they put the worst of the juviniles in the middle of the place-surounded by gaurds with guns and razor wire everywhere. You had to undergo a strip and body cavity seardh to visit-my baby had to undergo a BODY CAVITY SEARCH!! I still see red when I think of it.I took pictures, went back to court, and eventually won the right not to have to visit her there. Imagine having to go to court to NOT HAVE TO VISIT your child. Phycologically scarring at best!! At least my little one did not have to have her privates probbed by a woman who looked like she was enjoying it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


My favorite memory of her crap was the Berean Christion school people. I wanted to put her in a progressive open private school - the public school system had enough of her! So, we visited many schools, and one super strict Basptist one- to give her perspective! She choose the Berean one-couldn't change her mind ( or she just wouldn't go anyway) At the time I thought it was because they had nice uniforms-pink and grey-such a girly thing to do!! But no, her plan was much more devious. She immediately got baptized, convinced the pastor and his wife and the church elders that we were sinners hell bent on taking her with us.They bombarded us with "visits" where they went through our house with a fine tooth comb searching for what? Who knows-something she told them was there. I got phone calls every day from irate people telling me i was working with the devil-I was, they just had not figured out who SHE was.I could go on, but I won't. It's to painful even after all these years. Lets just say that there was a bright moment in that one. Eventually - 3 months actually, which is the longest she could ever last before being found out and figured out - the pastor and his wife came to me ( wouldn't let them on the property!!)and stood there in the street and aplogized. Their son was drinking alchohol and taking drugs ( she had a convert- how nice) several kids were in counseling for the problems she caused ( I know what they are) he almost lost his pastorship, several parents were trying counseling before divorce-(HMMM don't know the particulars on that one, but I can imagine) They asked for my forgiveness, which I gave, somewhat reluctantly-i was still so wounded and mentally overwrought by the whold experience. And oh-the junior pastor - where she lived for a while with him and his wife-seeking comfort and counseling for her terrible childhood - did get a divorce.

So, i can't give you anything positive to hope for. It only gets worse-sorry. I can give you some comfort, a shoulder to cry on, some advice based on experience, and these words-RUN, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!. Does the word Sociopath mean anyuthing to you-it should. He is really bad, even for a 9 year old, and he will get bigger, stronger, angrier. I was beat up constantly by my daughter ( that was because of the Karate classes designed to teach her self control - she had control all right!!) Look for the help you need-I wish I had tried a few more things- like boot camp, but i didn't. I thought all the counseling and love would "cure" her. it didn't.

I know all you Pcommers are looking at this in alarm, even disgust, but have never been there. YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THIS IS LIKE. i am generally a positive person, helpful where ever i can, kind and compassionate. Please do not judge me by this post-this person needs help, a kind of help you couldn't even begin to understand. I didn't even talk about the really serious stuff, the most painful moments, the most damaging things.

Where is my lovely daughter now-WELLLL-she abandoned her 1st child. Thankfully, her father is raising her. Her second child is here with me. I am raising him because no one else would. I LOVE that little man. He is everything his mother never was or could be. He is kind and compassionate, loving and giving, good- no GREAT in school. A Boy Scout headed for an Eagle Award - I am sure of it. He is the only reason I have to stop myself when I wish she were never born!!!! Without her, I would not have the honor or pleasure of knowing him. I would not have found the healing in knowing that it was not me- I am a good parent- I do a great job as a mom!! i am not a failure! I am crying now though-and can't see the screen.

Ok- I'm over the crying again-it happens sometimes. There is a scar that runs deep from that one! Let me finish---the last pregnancey she came to me with, was little Landy. He wasn't born yet, and sadly, I couldn't raise another one-especially one born with multiple problems. Oh, no one knew the problems yet, but i knew they would be there. She hadn't been to the doctor once throughout the pregnancy ( but DEFAC did approve massages for her-still don't get that one) and was on drugs the whole time. I found him some parents who wanted him, and he is their only child, and since both were professionals, they had great insurance-something I did not have being self employed. He is about 7 now-I do not see him. The parents moved far away. There is a lot more to that story, but it would take all day.

Oh, that's right-where is she now? probably in jail somewhere around Atlanta-she's been in every one at least once. She could be living on the street again-hooking, doing pornography, hanging with the gangs-(I'd love to tell you all the story about visiting her and finding myuself alone, unarmed, and surrounded by punks who wanted my money - or something else) I got out of it unscathed - something I can't say about the rest of my dealings with her. She's doing drugs, selling drugs, and maybe even making drugs- oh hell, of coarse she's making them. the girl was brillant-a genius!!, but she only used her brain to hurt others and cause trouble where ever she goes. She makes State Farm's "MAYHEM" look nice. As a matter of fact mayhem is her middle name, trouble is her first, and disaster is the last. Do you see the scars I bear? Do you have any idea how it feels to be a loving mother who thinks that way?

Do me a favor, and just call me. I'll PM you with my #-don't want the nasty phone calls from people who have no idea what this is like. Get yourself in a support group, find counseling for yourself-you're going to need it. I will pray for you-maybe an exorcism would do something? I often wonder about that ? didn't try that either-should have!!

This post has been edited by PcsCharli: 20 March 2012 - 06:16 PM

[Mr.Dis]

PcsCharli, on 20 March 2012 - 10:46 AM, said:

Well, you have found someone who went through the same thing with my older daughter. First of all -god bless you cause you're going to need it!!. You are doing all the right things, but when I did them it didn't work.I don't mean to sound so negative, but honey- I HAVE BEEN THERE

Eventually, the state took her away as incorigable, but not until I lost my sanity, peace of mind, husband, self esteem-the list goes on. It took me years to find myself again. I still have little nerosis like i can't seem to go out and get my mail from the mailbox (years of DEFAC letters ordering me to court, counseling, jail-yes jail!!!) I have mail box phobia. Gov't green rooms make me feel sick to my stomach. Stupid stuff like that.

The turning point for me was when the state came to take away my youngest child. "She" had been picked up (again) by the police. She was shoplifting. She also had been gone for weeks as a runaway. So, the story was "Oh, poor me!! My mom threw me out and i have to shop lift to survive and feed myself" Really, so that's why you stole sun tan lotion (no food). Every police jurisdiction in town had to put up with me crying at the police chiefs desk, pleading for them to find my daughter before something happens to her!!!

Many months , a lot of money, and finally a kind Pro Bona upscale lawyer who like going after DEFAC for stuff like this, I was cleared of any wrong doing, and she was taken in to a program-well, many programs because as each one figured out that they could not help her, they passed her on to someone else. There was the one where the cook stabbed her in the hand-poor woman had never come up against someone like her-she lost her job and pension. Still, she was lucky-it could have been worse. At the next place, a counselor helped her to run away and he put her up at his house FOOL. She played him like a fine fiddle!!!!!!! He lost his job, his wife ( yes he was married) his kids, the rest of his family, and his freedonm cause he went to jail. There was the incident with a huge (I really mean HUGE ) black scorpion found in another inmates bed - the one she had just had a big fight with. Then there was the court proceedings where i was ordered to allow SIBLING VISITATION of her 5 year old sister. She not only orchestrated the whole thing, but made those state lawyers dance like puppets on her strings. Seems inocent - huh? Well, she was residing in the Lantana Woman's State Correctional facility - no, she wasn't an adult, but they put the worst of the juviniles in the middle of the place-surounded by gaurds with guns and razor wire everywhere. You had to undergo a strip and body cavity seardh to visit-my baby had to undergo a BODY CAVITY SEARCH!! I still see red when I think of it.I took pictures, went back to court, and eventually won the right not to have to visit her there. Imagine having to go to court to NOT HAVE TO VISIT your child. Phycologically scarring at best!! At least my little one did not have to have her privates probbed by a woman who looked like she was enjoying it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


My favorite memory of her crap was the Berean Christion school people. I wanted to put her in a progressive open private school - the public school system had enough of her! So, we visited many schools, and one super strict Basptist one- to give her perspective! She choose the Berean one-couldn't change her mind ( or she just wouldn't go anyway) At the time I thought it was because they had nice uniforms-pink and grey-such a girly thing to do!! But no, her plan was much more devious. She immediately got baptized, convinced the pastor and his wife and the church elders that we were sinners hell bent on taking her with us.They bombarded us with "visits" where they went through our house with a fine tooth comb searching for what? Who knows-something she told them was there. I got phone calls every day from irate people telling me i was working with the devil-I was, they just had not figured out who SHE was.I could go on, but I won't. It's to painful even after all these years. Lets just say that there was a bright moment in that one. Eventually - 3 months actually, which is the longest she could ever last before being found out and figured out - the pastor and his wife came to me ( wouldn't let them on the property!!)and stood there in the street and aplogized. Their son was drinking alchohol and taking drugs ( she had a convert- how nice) several kids were in counseling for the problems she caused ( I know what they are) he almost lost his pastorship, several parents were trying counseling before divorce-(HMMM don't know the particulars on that one, but I can imagine) They asked for my forgiveness, which I gave, somewhat reluctantly-i was still so wounded and mentally overwrought by the whold experience. And oh-the junior pastor - where she lived for a while with him and his wife-seeking comfort and counseling for her terrible childhood - did get a divorce.

So, i can't give you anything positive to hope for. It only gets worse-sorry. I can give you some comfort, a shoulder to cry on, some advice based on experience, and these words-RUN, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!. Does the word Sociopath mean anyuthing to you-it should. He is really bad, even for a 9 year old, and he will get bigger, stronger, angrier. I was beat up constantly by my daughter ( that was because of the Karate classes designed to teach her self control - she had control all right!!) Look for the help you need-I wish I had tried a few more things- like boot camp, but i didn't. I thought all the counseling and love would "cure" her. it didn't.

I know all you Pcommers are looking at this in alarm, even disgust, but have never been there. YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THIS IS LIKE. i am generally a positive person, helpful where ever i can, kind and compassionate. Please do not judge me by this post-this woman needs help, a kind of help you couldn't even begin to understand. I didn't even talk about the really serious stuff, the most painful moments, the most damaging things.

Where is my lovely daughter now-WELLLL-she abandoned her 1st child. Thankfully, her father is raising her. Her second child is here with me. I am raising him because no one else would. I LOVE that little man. He is everything his mother never was or could be. He is kind and compassionate, loving and giving, good- no GREAT in school. A Boy Scout headed for an Eagle Award - I am sure of it. He is the only reason I have to stop myself when I wish she were never born!!!! Without her, I would not have the honor or pleasure of knowing him. I would not have found the healing in knowing that it was not me- I am a good parent- I do a great job as a mom!! i am not a failure! I am crying now though-and can't see the screen.

Ok- I'm over the crying again-it happens sometimes. There is a scar that runs deep from that one! Let me finish---the last pregnancey she came to me with, was little Landy. He wasn't born yet, and sadly, I couldn't raise another one-especially one born with multiple problems. Oh, no one knew the problems yet, but i knew they would be there. She hadn't been to the doctor once throughout the pregnancy ( but DEFAC did approve massages for her-still don't get that one) and was on drugs the whole time. I found him some parents who wanted him, and he is their only child, and since both were professionals, they had great insurance-something I did not have being self employed. He is about 7 now-I do not see him. The parents moved far away. There is a lot more to that story, but it would take all day.

Oh, that's right-where is she now? probably in jail somewhere around Atlanta-she's been in every one at least once. She could be living on the street again-hooking, doing pornography, hanging with the gangs-(I'd love to tell you all the story about visiting her and finding myuself alone, unarmed, and surrounded by punks who wanted my money - or something else) I got out of it unscathed - something I can't say about the rest of my dealings with her. She's doing drugs, selling drugs, and maybe even making drugs- oh hell, of coarse she's making them. the girl was brillant-a genius!!, but she only used her brain to hurt others and cause trouble where ever she goes. She makes State Farm's "MAYHEM" look nice. As a matter of fact mayhem is her middle name, trouble is her first, and disaster is the last. Do you see the scars I bear? Do you have any idea how it feels to be a loving mother who thinks that way?

Do me a favor, and just call me. I'll PM you with my #-don't want the nasty phone calls from people who have no idea what this is like. Get yourself in a support group, find counseling for yourself-you're going to need it. I will pray for you-maybe an exorcism would do something? I often wonder about that ? didn't try that either-should have!!

I'll just say WOW to this. I hope that you are able to overcome the scars and troubles left you by her. I have no doubt that children can do this, as well as adults. I pray every night that we can get through to Dis jr. and that he will catch up with his peers and at least become a reasonable self suficiant adult. I see the military as a great choice for him if he can just get over the authority issues he seems to have. Maybe in their EOD field. But I have to get him through school first.

[mei lan]

PcsCharli, on 20 March 2012 - 10:46 AM, said:

I know all you Pcommers are looking at this in alarm, even disgust, but have never been there. YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THIS IS LIKE.

Not this pcommer. I am horrified and aghast that any parent should ever have to deal with what you did. I don't know you and I don't know the cause of how your daughter turned out, but your pain is very evident in your words. My heart hurts for you.

[PcsCharli]

All I Hear is Blah Blah Blah, on 19 March 2012 - 09:16 AM, said:

That is exactly what I thought, all of it would be gone but a bed a few sets of clothes and that's it.

I tried that one-took out everything but the bed. Even took off the door. i was almost arrested and hauled to court for depriving her of her privacy. didn't matter that she was trying to burn the house dopwn with us in it.

[mei lan]

Mr.Dis, on 20 March 2012 - 06:02 AM, said:

No, this was another student in his class.

Thanks for answering that...I meant to ask. I was wondering if you meant satan by the XXXXX. Much more logical that the other kid told him.

Quote

Clone troopers from star wars. And some of the ships. He is obsessed with Star Wars.

Who are his favorite characters? What does he like best about Star Wars?