I went to high school with a girl who was the oldest of 5. Four girls and then FINALLY while my friend was in high school (junior or senior year), her parents had the son they wanted. They had no more kids. OTOH, one of the librarians at my school was one of either five or six girls. Her parents kept trying to have a boy but never did.
Hubby and I wanted a son after his two girls. We got a girl. Two years later, I got my tubes tied because the odds were not getting better that the next one would be a boy and I didn't want a houseful of girls. And like you said, three is enough. I'm 5 out of 5.
janko9, on 23 February 2012 - 11:42 AM, said:
After 3 girls, I'm still waiting on my football player. Oh well guess I will always wait. 3 is enough
See, no one in the South ever asks if you have crazy people in your family. They just ask which side they're on. -- Julia Sugarbaker
In loving memory of Mason (December 1, 2001 to December 9, 2001) and Ashley Jr. (December 1, 2001 to December 2, 2001)
I have no issue with folks having as many kids as they want. I have no issue helping out folks that have kids that aren't exactly fully planned (I have an in marriage oops baby, I have four friends with in marriage oops babies including a week old preemie).
BUT, I have an issue with the government using the power of the gun to take away my money from me to give it to someone else. SO, when you expect me to pay for your lifestyle, I have a HUGE issue with them continuing to take my money away from me.
I think average people with average incomes could support 2 kids. my husband and I have a pretty average income. we're not rich by any means, but we are not poor either. we have a small home that is just right for a couple that doesnt plan on having kids. we have the things that give us a satisfying quality of life, 3 pets, flat screen tv with 200 channels of nothing is on, the 'weekend' car, we can each afford to dabble in our hobbies and collections, we are putting money back for retirement, etc, etc. if we HAD to we could afford 2 kids. it would be tight, but we could do it. with all that said, it would take a toll on the lifestyle we have to pay for those 2 kids. a better question would be how many kids can the average person/ family comfortably support without assistance.
a parent of either sex that can afford to pay child support but does not, should be charged with a crime. child support however, can come in many forms. if the parent that does not have primary custody is paying for extra curricular activities, daycare, taking the child shopping for clothes, school supplies, watching the kid so the other parent can work or go out once in a while and things like that i would consider child support, it may not be as nice as a check you can spend on whatever you want, but it is helping you to support a child.
there should be a cap on the number of children you can receive benefits for. in my opinion the cap would be 3. this would allow 2 kids for an average household and 1 'oops kid'. you can have all the kids you want, but you shouldn't be rewarded for making a poor decision. and chances are, you wont be having more kids because you know you won't get paid for them. now i dont believe in letting the other 7 kids starve, so if you have any number of kids, whether it's 1 or 20 and you are on assistance i think my money would be better spent in a type of scholarship program that includes daycare for the kids while the parent(s) go to school to better themselves (and only if they do go to school) and the assistance could last for a pre-determined amount of time after graduation to allow for the parent(s) to get settled into a decent job. however, if after the education, the parent(s) still cant find it in themselves to actually work (meaning they dont try, lay-off's etc. would be a special circumstance), all benefits should end.
basically, i dont plan on having any kids, never really been a huge fan of them. i shouldnt have to pay for someone else's decision to reproduce like bunnies on viagra. i hate to see any innocent child suffer for the poor decisions of the parent, and regardless of the parents background, they should be given a fair opportunity to provide for the kids. but if a person is given the help they need and continue to not provide for the kids, i should not have to keep giving to them. you cant help a person who wont help themself.
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My daughter is a crack addict-left a beautiful grand-daughter behind in florida to move here, and had my grandson. When the "Baby daddy" didn't want them around anymore, she left him here for 3 months. On Sunday we will be celebrating his 10th birthday..
I never expected to be raising a child at this point in my life, but here I am. Ed and I sat and discussed the situation completely before taking on the responsibility-after all, it isn't fair to assume that he would be as willing as I was to raise a baby. We liked taking off on the Harley and doing what we pleased any time of the day.
1st thing that happened was that all of our friends (older and childless) dropped us like a hot potato-They didn't want to hang around a couple with a child, and we wouldn't just leave him. He went every where we went. So, we made new friends-couples with kids, some even close to our age. Next, we sold the Harley and got a hot rod with a back seat that we could strap his car seat into. We still love to ride around in that car - it's what we do as a family on the weekends.
There are all kinds of families these days-extended families, gay families, and even old fart families (like us) We are a happy family. We love raising Buzz-he's the joy in our life and the most precious gift God ever gave us-Our LOVE CHILD. That says it all-we are a family filled with love for each other.
Buzz, is the happiest, healthiest, best child on the face of the earth-the A+ student and scout I always dreamed of. His father is to pretty and busy to raise him. When he finally decided to settle down, he suddenly wanted him, but that didn't last long. Now with 2 of her kids, one of his sons from another marriage, and one of their own, they are not interested again- they never call. Buzz has learned to deal with it. He is happy here and does not want to go anywhere else.
Today, as his birthday gets closer, I am giving him a special birthday present. We are going to pick up his big brother to spend some time here. They are less than 3 years apart, and love and remember each other. I got the phone number some time ago, and they talk on the phone often. The parents are letting him spent the night-two brothers together again. What a special day-They have not seen each other in over 3 years!!
It is a lot like the 4th birthday present I gave him, when I swallowed my fears and went to where his dad worked and asked him to be a part of the boy's life. I aske him to think about it and not let the boy down-if he wanted to meet him again, he could not stop because his mother had already abandoned him and I did not want that to happen again. We met at PETIT Creek Farm, rented a pony for the day, and I stood back and let them spend time together- the dad, the big brother, and the little brother. It didn't work out the way I had hoped, and he did let him down several times, and I had to put an end to it. I couldn't bear to see Buzz hurt that way, and endangered as well.
Yes, it is much more important that a child be in a happy, loving home. I don't believe that people should stay together for the kids sake unless they can make the home a happy one together. Me and Grandpa did that for our grandson, and we have never regreted it.
Times have been tough these last 3 years or so. Business has not been great, but he always has new clothes ( well not always NEW-I buy a lot from the yard sales and sites-the kid grows like a weed!!) Christmas is always good for him-that's what makes it good for us! We still find the money for scouts and field trips, and camp-Sometimes we have had to get some help to do it, but he went (thank you scouts for your camperships!!!) We have gone without new clothes, cars, and anything else, so we could provide for him. I would give him my last mouthful of food if I had to, but God has seen fit to fill our house with food during these hard times.
Things are looking up this year, and I think we have come throught the worst. Through it all though, we remained happy because we were together. Life is good, and grand kids are better!
My daughter is a crack addict-left a beautiful grand-daughter behind in florida to move here, and had my grandson. When the "Baby daddy" didn't want them around anymore, she left him here for 3 months. On Sunday we will be celebrating his 10th birthday..
I never expected to be raising a child at this point in my life, but here I am. Ed and I sat and discussed the situation completely before taking on the responsibility-after all, it isn't fair to assume that he would be as willing as I was to raise a baby. We liked taking off on the Harley and doing what we pleased any time of the day.
1st thing that happened was that all of our friends (older and childless) dropped us like a hot potato-They didn't want to hang around a couple with a child, and we wouldn't just leave him. He went every where we went. So, we made new friends-couples with kids, some even close to our age. Next, we sold the Harley and got a hot rod with a back seat that we could strap his car seat into. We still love to ride around in that car - it's what we do as a family on the weekends.
There are all kinds of families these days-extended families, gay families, and even old fart families (like us) We are a happy family. We love raising Buzz-he's the joy in our life and the most precious gift God ever gave us-Our LOVE CHILD. That says it all-we are a family filled with love for each other.
Buzz, is the happiest, healthiest, best child on the face of the earth-the A+ student and scout I always dreamed of. His father is to pretty and busy to raise him. When he finally decided to settle down, he suddenly wanted him, but that didn't last long. Now with 2 of her kids, one of his sons from another marriage, and one of their own, they are not interested again- they never call. Buzz has learned to deal with it. He is happy here and does not want to go anywhere else.
Today, as his birthday gets closer, I am giving him a special birthday present. We are going to pick up his big brother to spend some time here. They are less than 3 years apart, and love and remember each other. I got the phone number some time ago, and they talk on the phone often. The parents are letting him spent the night-two brothers together again. What a special day-They have not seen each other in over 3 years!!
It is a lot like the 4th birthday present I gave him, when I swallowed my fears and went to where his dad worked and asked him to be a part of the boy's life. I aske him to think about it and not let the boy down-if he wanted to meet him again, he could not stop because his mother had already abandoned him and I did not want that to happen again. We met at PETIT Creek Farm, rented a pony for the day, and I stood back and let them spend time together- the dad, the big brother, and the little brother. It didn't work out the way I had hoped, and he did let him down several times, and I had to put an end to it. I couldn't bear to see Buzz hurt that way, and endangered as well.
Yes, it is much more important that a child be in a happy, loving home. I don't believe that people should stay together for the kids sake unless they can make the home a happy one together. Me and Grandpa did that for our grandson, and we have never regreted it.
Times have been tough these last 3 years or so. Business has not been great, but he always has new clothes ( well not always NEW-I buy a lot from the yard sales and sites-the kid grows like a weed!!) Christmas is always good for him-that's what makes it good for us! We still find the money for scouts and field trips, and camp-Sometimes we have had to get some help to do it, but he went (thank you scouts for your camperships!!!) We have gone without new clothes, cars, and anything else, so we could provide for him. I would give him my last mouthful of food if I had to, but God has seen fit to fill our house with food during these hard times.
Things are looking up this year, and I think we have come throught the worst. Through it all though, we remained happy because we were together. Life is good, and grand kids are better!
we are in this boat together with a whole bunch of grandparents raising grandkids. We do it for the children, not for the parents.
I think that anyone who can potentially have a child(male or female)should be able to support that child. If they do need assistance, it should be on a sliding scale and should be weened off of it over a set amount of time. It should never be a crime if they cannot support them as long as the children are being "reasonably" cared for.
That being said, I am NEVER in favor of legislating reproductive rights(except in EXTREME abuse cases). That is a certain slippery slope right into socialism.
Heres the bottom line: if you are born to stupid parents, then you just are. Nobody is given a choice on that but we can ALL change the cycle in our own lives as adults.
Who is John Galt?"The government was set to protect man from criminals, and the Constitution was written to protect man from the government." -Ayn Rand
Yes we are.. 7 yr old Grand-Daughter. Not what we planned, but can't imagine life without her there everyday.
I was looking through my church directory and was shocked at teh number of Grandparents raising their Grandchilren(and even some GREATgrandchildren). Full time raising, not just an influence, the way it was meant to be.
I admire you all for stepping up and giving of yourselves. I just think that you should be able to enjoy NOT raising them but rather speding time with them, doing the fun things in life.
But again, I know you do it for them and I'm very glad that you do.
Who is John Galt?"The government was set to protect man from criminals, and the Constitution was written to protect man from the government." -Ayn Rand
A Gipper Girl, on 24 February 2012 - 10:46 PM, said:
I was looking through my church directory and was shocked at teh number of Grandparents raising their Grandchilren(and even some GREATgrandchildren). Full time raising, not just an influence, the way it was meant to be.
I admire you all for stepping up and giving of yourselves. I just think that you should be able to enjoy NOT raising them but rather speding time with them, doing the fun things in life.
But again, I know you do it for them and I'm very glad that you do.
I like to think of the "multigenerational families" as the way we were meant to live. The parents make up the core and work / bring home funds. The grand parents having moved on past their most active years take over the "back up" child rearing position and lend assistance to the parents with daily tasks, and giving the wisdom of their years when needed and such. The childrens job is to learn from school , parents and grandparents. And the torch will be passed to the next generation as the core members of the family. I just see that as a much better way than to let the schools and other folks watch the kids while the parents are working. Then paying someone else to keep an eye on aging parents. We are 6 miles from my parents and 12 from the inlaws. We may not live together but it sure is nice to be there when someone needs help.
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I like to think of the "multigenerational families" as the way we were meant to live. The parents make up the core and work / bring home funds. The grand parents having moved on past their most active years take over the "back up" child rearing position and lend assistance to the parents with daily tasks, and giving the wisdom of their years when needed and such. The childrens job is to learn from school , parents and grandparents. And the torch will be passed to the next generation as the core members of the family. I just see that as a much better way than to let the schools and other folks watch the kids while the parents are working. Then paying someone else to keep an eye on aging parents. We are 6 miles from my parents and 12 from the inlaws. We may not live together but it sure is nice to be there when someone needs help.
This would personally be impossible for my husband and I when we had all our children at home. There is no way we could provide for our children and provide for the medical needs of our aging parents, it would have bankrupted us and left us unable to provide for our children. As a parent I can tell you that I would rather do away with myself than to see my kids and grand kids financially ruined over my medical needs.
This is our society, it is what it is.
I like to think of the "multigenerational families" as the way we were meant to live. The parents make up the core and work / bring home funds. The grand parents having moved on past their most active years take over the "back up" child rearing position and lend assistance to the parents with daily tasks, and giving the wisdom of their years when needed and such. The childrens job is to learn from school , parents and grandparents. And the torch will be passed to the next generation as the core members of the family. I just see that as a much better way than to let the schools and other folks watch the kids while the parents are working. Then paying someone else to keep an eye on aging parents. We are 6 miles from my parents and 12 from the inlaws. We may not live together but it sure is nice to be there when someone needs help.
Lord knows me and my family would not have made it without our families support. But in this day and age your example is the exception, not the rule. American and indeed modern society is far more dynamic than it was 100 years ago. Even a couple of generations ago. A one model fits all situ certainly does not work and it would be really unfair to suggest it would. As I said before, my situ was mine alone and we went with what we were able to work with what life dealt us.
The biggest hindrance to society today is the sheer number of people involved and the strains to the society that happens. We Americans are a far more urbanized society than we were 100 years ago and far more dependant on those systems that support such societies. Until we see a birthrate reduction from natural means, not imposed by government regulations, we will continue to face the problems that such heavily urbanized societies do. Japan has the lowest birthrate on the planet and now faces the reverse problem we do. People to support the systems for urbanization. Being that it is an extremely homogenized society, Japan might have to start relaxing it's immigration policies (among the strictest in the world) so that it can bring back up it's population. Under population will destroy a society just as fast as over population...
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Religion in Government is like Gang Rape. 5 out of the 6 participants thinks it's great, done by popular concensus and morally justified because the Bible and "god" said they could. Publicly the 5 condem it but have no problems privately supporting it or participating in it...
I like to think of the "multigenerational families" as the way we were meant to live. The parents make up the core and work / bring home funds. The grand parents having moved on past their most active years take over the "back up" child rearing position and lend assistance to the parents with daily tasks, and giving the wisdom of their years when needed and such. The childrens job is to learn from school , parents and grandparents. And the torch will be passed to the next generation as the core members of the family. I just see that as a much better way than to let the schools and other folks watch the kids while the parents are working. Then paying someone else to keep an eye on aging parents. We are 6 miles from my parents and 12 from the inlaws. We may not live together but it sure is nice to be there when someone needs help.
I absolutely agreew ith you. THAT is the perfect family scenario as far as Im concerned and one that I had while my son was growing up and I grew up that way, too.
I was referring to the grandparents who raise their grandchildren without the parents taking any responsibility at all. They are out playing and doing their own thing and to keep the State from taking the children, etc., the grandparents have no choice.
I dont think this is fair to them. They already did their part as far as raising kids. They should be able to be grandparents at this point. Like you said, you dont all live together but they are very involved. This is how I think it should be.
Who is John Galt?"The government was set to protect man from criminals, and the Constitution was written to protect man from the government." -Ayn Rand
Teaching middle school is a good form of birth control.
I subbed elementary school for about seven years, loved it. My middle schooler had a bright idea that I should try subbing at his school. I subbed for exactly one day. Middle school teachers deserve medals, I don't see how they do it. Yes, your right, great form of birth control! As much as I love all of his middle school friends, I can not be in a teaching environment with them. The kids I've known for years turn into aliens once they hit the door into school.
You did know that that is currently the law correct? A male that does not pay his child support can be trown into jail. I did not write the law nor did I say I supported or opposed it. I only stated that I felt a dad would be persued and prosecuted faster than a woman.
Just because there is a "law" about paying child support does NOT mean that the custodial parent actually gets it!!!! Child Support Enforcement in this state is a joke!!!!!!
If I am reading this right, # 3 is a statement and I couldn't answer. Therefore couldn't vote.
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Just because there is a "law" about paying child support does NOT mean that the custodial parent actually gets it!!!! Child Support Enforcement in this state is a joke!!!!!!
If I am reading this right, # 3 is a statement and I couldn't answer. Therefore couldn't vote.
Many are statements. the intent was to have you rate how you feel about the statement. Agree or disagree.
And I do realize that the custodial parent may not always get the child support the court has ordered. I was polling to get a feel for how folks actually feel about things like this. ie. just because you can have a baby but can not afford to take care of it, do you have the right to have one anyway and expect to have other folks (tax payers) pay for it if they do and can not afford it.
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And like you said, three is enough. I'm 5 out of 5. 
janko9, on 23 February 2012 - 11:42 AM, said:
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